36 Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a bit like a shivering child in a sandy bathing suit trying to build a castle that I'm deeply engaged with. I know exactly what all of the little lumps are, where the drawbridge goes down, and I'm really excited about it. My mom keeps yelling at me to pull my bathing suit up, but I'm so engrossed in the enterprise of the castle that I'm not paying any attention to her. Deep down, I know that it's not really a castle, and when the waves eventually destroy it, I'll probably just stick my hand in the resultant mud and squish it around because it feels good. But right now, I am really really excited about building it; and if you want to help me and seem like a nice person, maybe we can work together. Or maybe you are making something of your own that I can find out about and help with. Alternatively, we could just stick our hands in the mud. It feels really nice.

I have a lot of energy for intimate friendships and relationships, love expressing myself creatively to those I care about, and really enjoy it when others are comfortable doing the same.
What I’m doing with my life
2016: I just took a teaching job at UCLA. It's so nice to be teaching again, and in a big bad city. The last time I taught was a year and a bit ago, in Budapest.

It was very hard to leave my family behind. My dad had a very severe stroke a year and a bit ago, which brought me home from Europe in the first place. He's completely unable to speak or take care of himself, and he's sort of started to feel like my son more than anything else. I got so much out of trying to help him and my mother, but that can't be my life any longer. It was nice while it lasted, and I learned a lot. Fuck if it wasn't boring sometimes, though.

2015: I'm in between things right now. My family has always been very close, and we've all seen a fair amount of tragedy in the last five years. So for the next little while, I'm devoted to being there for my mom and making my dad's life as worthwhile and full of happiness and small achievement as possible. Which is exactly what he did for me when I was younger.

I'm still doing daily academic work as well, and when I have free time, I tend to find a secluded spot down by the local river and appreciate the kinds of things I used to take for granted. I swim there fairly often, which I used to do as a teenager, and watch the birds mate. I'm even getting used to the hunting spiders, and I like to watch them go about their lives.
I’m really good at
making people feel comfortable
getting lost in conversation
The first things people usually notice about me
People find me honest and intimate, although I can be a bit quiet and shy around new people. ( sounds a bit like one of those descriptions intended to find willing adoptees for stray cats, but it's the truth).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love to read all sorts of things, but my perennial favorites are Virginia Woolf, Melville, Joyce, Graham Greene, Philip Larkin, and Gerard Manley Hopkins. Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky and Chekov and Ibsen. Over the past bit I've read and loved Roberto Bolano, Laszlo Krasznahorkai, Tomas Transtromer, and Andrei Platonov.

I've been reading a lot of non-fiction at the moment. Lots of things about the middle east, religious violence, and religious rituals. I'm a real barrel of laughs.

I love music above all else, and listen to classical, jazz, and pop. Pop-wise, I like the standard 60's and 70's classics, as well as lots of different modern things (Joanna Newsom, Bill Callahan, Will Oldham, and loud non-folk albums).

In the last couple of years, I've really liked The Knife, Kendrik Lamar, Oneohtrix Point Never, Sun Kil Moon, Father John Misty, St. Vincent, and Destroyer.

I like Bergman and Truffaut movies, and almost anything from Eastern Europe. I love Curb Your Enthusiasm, Louis C.K. and the British Office.
The six things I could never do without
my sense of humor
the great outdoors
I spend a lot of time thinking about
philosophy. ethics. music. anthropology (gender rituals, marriage ceremonies, funeral rites, etc.). emotions. the middle east. foreign affairs. evolutionary biology. canadian politics (that's my country).
You should message me if
you have values of some sort that you are willing to fight for, or put time into promoting, and aren't afraid of making mistakes or being perceived as over-earnest because you believe in something. you don't believe that an attitude of constant sarcasm and cynicism constitutes a well lived adult life, and are more concerned with doing the right thing than being cool.