37Los Angeles, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm a bit like a shivering child in a sandy bathing suit trying to build a castle that I'm deeply engaged with. I know exactly what all of the little lumps are, where the drawbridge goes down, and I'm really excited about it. My mom keeps yelling at me to pull my bathing suit up, but I'm so engrossed in the enterprise of the castle that I'm not paying any attention to her. Deep down, I know that it's not really a castle, and when the waves eventually destroy it, I'll probably just stick my hand in the resultant mud and squish it around because it feels good. But right now, I am really really excited about building it, and if you want to help me and seem like a nice person, maybe we can work together. Or maybe you are making something of your own that I can find out about and help with. Alternatively, we could just stick our hands in the mud. It feels really nice.

I have a lot of energy for intimate friendships and relationships, love expressing myself creatively to those I care about, and really enjoy it when others are comfortable doing the same.

My last partner told me that I was a "Dom" and that I should write this on my profile.
What I’m doing with my life
Teaching at UCLA. I'm good at it, the students love me, and it pays the bills without damaging my body or sapping my will to live. It's a great job.
I’m really good at
making people feel comfortable
getting lost in conversation

The first things people usually notice about me
People find me honest and intimate. One on one, I can speak and listen. This makes me a good companion. In group situations, I'm either the centre of attention or not really participating at all. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes not.

I don't carry a phone or any other electronic device around unless I need to, and don't often think that I need to.

I believe in basic principles of respect and dignity, appreciating what others have done, giving anyone I meet a chance to make a good first impression, an honest day's work, and self improvement. Beyond that, I don't take many other things seriously.

A longtime female friend recently described me as "pathologically self-reliant."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I read all sorts of things, but my perennial favorites are Virginia Woolf, Melville, Joyce, Graham Greene, Philip Larkin, and Gerard Manley Hopkins. Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky and Chekov and Ibsen. Over the past bit I've read and loved Roberto Bolano, Laszlo Krasznahorkai, Clarice Lispector, and Andrei Platonov. I generally prefer reading Eastern European novels about societal collapse, inner strength,and man's inhumanity to man to American novels about self-discovery, self-induced malaise, or brunch.

I read non-fiction too. Lots of things about Eastern Europe, the middle east, religious violence, and religious rituals. I teach Ancient Greek philosophy, and contemporary moral and political philosophy, so l read a lot of that.

I don't watch a ton of movies, but when I do they tend to be about the same things as the books I am interested in. If I'm in a sexually satisfying relationship, I can occasionally be tempted to lighten up and soldier my way through something about a woman's self-discovery through Italian cuisine, eccentricity, and wine. If a film contains more than one non-satirical scene where wealthy socialites enjoy brunch completely free of self-awareness or crippling guilt, at least one of them has to die by the end of the movie. Unless it is a French film, takes place prior to 1960, or the socialites have grace and class.

I have a soft spot for bad horror movies from the 80s.

I go to comedy shows fairly often.

I love music above all else, and listen to classical, jazz, and pop. Pop-wise, I like the standard 60's and 70's classics, as well as lots of different modern things (Joanna Newsom, Bill Callahan, Will Oldham, and loud non-folk albums).

In the last couple of years, I've really liked The Knife, Kendrik Lamar, Oneohtrix Point Never, Sun Kil Moon, Father John Misty, St. Vincent, and Destroyer.

I like Bergman and Truffaut movies, and almost anything from Eastern Europe. I love Curb Your Enthusiasm, Louis C.K. and the British Office.
Six things I could never do without
my sense of humor
the great outdoors
I spend a lot of time thinking about
philosophy. ethics. music. anthropology (gender rituals, marriage ceremonies, funeral rites, etc.). emotions. the middle east. foreign affairs. evolutionary biology. canadian politics (that's my country).
You should message me if
you have values of some sort that you are willing to fight for, or put time into promoting, and aren't afraid of making mistakes or being perceived as over-earnest because you believe in something. you don't believe that an attitude of constant sarcasm and cynicism constitutes a well lived adult life, and are more concerned with doing the right thing than being cool.
The two of us