theotherbastard
34 Oakland, United States
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theotherbastard
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My self-summary
I'm looking for a good woman who likes good women.

I sound like Archer.

For such a standard-looking white chaud I'm wildly anti-paradigm: marriage is retarded, having your own babies is unethical when your species has overshot, and oil's about to run out (who wants to shop for shotguns with meee?).

I spent my twenties as a player, waaaay out here with a closed heart. Now I want connection and love. Intimacy. All kinds of gay shit like that.
What I’m doing with my life
Playing industrial civilization for as long as I absolutely have to. I remain a plucky, charming wage slave. Catering isn't helping the old six pack much, what with its endless free fried plantains, but I'm tryin' here.
I’m really good at
Not getting arrested, despite that I'm a chaos magnet. I just have an atomic clock in my head that plays Happy Cricket when we should scoot. Lending stable affection, appreciation, and rational think-throughs to the ADHD and impulsive. Offering spontaneity to the stodgy. Emotional intelligence: I'm decent at the five-minute read.
The first things people usually notice about me
That my smile means I have a forward question.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Deep Green Resistance, the Vegetarian Myth, Griftopia, Sex At Dawn, Blood Meridian.

Movies: Superbad. Spy Game. Pi. Waltz With Bashir.

Music: Think Queens of the Stone Age and Ladytron. And then Primus. They're beloved in this town.
The six things I could never do without
Boobie pics. Yes, really. Not disembodied ones. Women make life worth living, shut up.
Fights, romance, and lust for life (that's totally one thing, called Dgaw, on account of testicles)
The empirical certainty that improvement is plausible in objective terms, and we needn't live our childhoods for the entirety of our lives.
Boring, obvious, universal Maslow. (That's 4)
Coconuts, and gods damns it if I don't likes them young
A-cuddlin'

If a woman likes to be read to, naked, that's a plus, I've decided. I can live without that, just, you know, not as long.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What the fuck I do next; the Bay Area sucks when you're worried about money. My friends mostly know me as a rock of cheerfulness, positivity, and certainty--that unstoppable paleo chaud--but to me what's unstoppable is all the horrible shit happening around the clock to children, to women, to the planet. All the villains I can't reach. Happiness. Acceptance and rejection. Choice and action. The drowned and the saved.

What I've lost that I care about regaining. What I can maybe look forward to.
On a typical Friday night I am
Mischief with chaos friends or reason with order friends. I'm low on order friends this year.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Cohabitation's a little terrifying, isn't it? I'm warm, smart, caring and fun but otherwise a terrible roommate. I need space, like my own place forever sort of space, or I'll become irritable and indifferent like a poorly housed hamster, and believe me, so will you. If I ever fall in mutual love again, my ideal arrangement will be to live four doors down.

I don't do well in monogamy. Flakery, you call it, I know. I want to go deep and I want to fall in love, but if I feel trapped my perfect boner goes away. Yes, you can be number one. No, you don't have to fuck my hilarious friends. Yes, I'm way too masculine. Yes, I'm very handsome.
You should message me if
You're a little handful with some extra jiggle. I'm looking for a savvy, hilarious, problematic lady who's in love with the D but works too fucking much to try and have the perfect body, because guess whose life that is. Perhaps you're also living in hiding in the deep suburbs of the east bay for cheap rent. Or perhaps I don't mind crossing that fucking bridge AGAIN for a girl I like.

You're angry, not anxious.

You sit in judgment but you're not the genuinely frigid judgmental type.

If you really like to show your rack, I will take you to dinner. You're not a cheap train wreck, you're braver than the scared girls. And if you are a cheap train wreck, I'm more likely to date you. Class is about money and social hierarchy and dead sky gods. This come-on took a turn.

Or you find me fascinating/have become a superfan.
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