32Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
DISCLAIMER: I'm currently in a strictly monogamous relationship right now. I reckon I'm leaving this up as testament that OkCupid does indeed work alright.

I like quiet moments. I like working stuff out. I like plans. I like being deterministic about problems.

I take things in stride. I obsess. I nitpick. Except when I don't.

I want to meet everybody and do everything. I was born a million men and I'm a tad pissed off I'll die only one.

I think comic books are equal to opera in terms of significance, because both of them are products of their time.

I'm dealing with getting older, but I'm comfortable in my skin.

I don't do silly things and if I do I apologize.

I hate pedants, hypocrites, and overly judgmental people. Ironically this may come across as judgmental.

I'm tons of fun, but only if you like dive bars, old buildings, restraint, dry humor, rooftops and sometimes abruptness.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a sightseeing guide for money. I take groups of people on bikes around Central Park. It's a pretty sweet gig.

I also run a board game club which I give a surprisingly large of my life to. It's pretty awesome though.
I’m really good at
I can juggle four ball (five if you let me practice), crack my knuckles like a mad man, roll a cigarette in five seconds, tell you height of the Empire State Building, and if I have the right equipment pull a sweet triple ristretto. I also make awesome whiskey sours, am pretty good at puns, and if you need a abundance of awkward moments just call me up. I'm also really good at getting obsessed about something for a couple of months then moving on to something else completely unrelated. That's how I ended up reading three books on pigeons.
The first things people usually notice about me
My incessant need to make puns. If you don't like puns then I apologize for whatever time you've spent already reading my profile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I use to have a really long list here, but then I realized that I didn't really give a shit when I read other people's profile what their musical tastes or favorite shows were. Or to be more precise I was never really surprised by the answers.

But just for a brief run down.

- A ton of American history books. Especially NY related.
- The Wire, Breaking Bad and Community
- Daniel Johnston, Jeffrey Lewis, The Fugs
Six things I could never do without
1. Campari
2. Bacon
3. Wikipedia
4. German Board Games
5. Coffee
6. Books
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ramos Gin Fizz

* 2 ounces London dry gin
* 1 ounce heavy cream
* 1 egg whites
* 1/2 ounce lemon juice
* 1/2 ounce lime juice
* 2 teaspoons superfine sugar
* 2 to 3 drops orange flower water

Combine in a chilled cocktail shaker with plenty of cracked ice, then shake viciously for at least one minute -- preferably two -- and strain into a chilled Collins glass. Top up with cold seltzer or club soda

(Source = David Wondrich)
On a typical Friday night I am
Looking for trouble. Failing that... Netflix.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've got some kinks I'm just now starting to get into. If your GGG and the submissive type I would be even more interested in talking to you.
You should message me if
Here's the rub.

A couple of months ago I almost died from my appendix bursting. I was just lucky enough to be wheeling into surgery as it happened. If I had been a little bit later then the odds are decent I would have been pining for the fjords.

That's not a great story I realize. Honestly it's a little bit boring, but bear with me here. There's a point I promise. And here it is.

Let's. Just. Fucking. Get. A. Drink. Already.

I'm lucky to be here. You're lucky to be here. This world is pretty fucking shitty sometime, but there's a lot of cool stuff out there. Not just like opera and art and all that high brow shit, but also comic books and Mario Kart and graffiti and butt plugs and cocktails and weird notes you find in the parking lot.

Almost dying didn't make me less lazy or even a better person. It has however made me a little bit more straightforward about certain things. And one of those things is how much time I want to spend being pen pals on the internet with people I don't know in real life.

Ain't nothing wrong with it. It's just that I would rather get drunk and make out on the Staten Island ferry. Or share some shitty jokes in person. Or get coffee, have a nice polite conversation and then never hang out again. Or do some weird sex stuff and watch something on Netflix.

You know? You feel me? Do you pick up on what I'm saying? Cole me down on the panny sty?

I mean take yourself for example. You're pretty cool hopefully. You read cool books, you have friends, if a small kid makes a face at you then you make one back. You've been to weddings, funerals and seen tiny babies less than a week old. You've fucked up, done good and did that one awkward thing years ago that you still cringe over.

You might have moments of doubt that normal people might call normal introspection, you might feel less in control of how your life is going than you like and maybe you have a list of shit you need to do that's pretty long, but all that shit aside you're pretty confident in the fact that you're pretty fucking awesome.

You're a fucking adult. You actually have a non vague answer if somebody asks you what music you listen to, you know how to put your ego in check for five seconds before saying something and you've been to BRUNCH. You've been to fuckin' brunch and talked about grown up stuff with people who wore something nice to meet you. Holy fucking shit.

This ain't SNICK. This ain't Clarissa Explains it All or Roundhouse. This shit is real life and right now at this moment you are sitting in front of your computer staring at advertisements for human beings. It's kind of weird. Not too weird, but a little weird. It's a lot weirder though if you think somebody sounds cool and you don't shoot them a fucking message. What was the point of this then?

Do I not sound like a fun person to hang out with? Then god speed with your OC travels and I hope you find somebody cool to meet. Do I sound like somebody you would want to hang out with?

Then.... let's just fucking get a drink already.

Why the fuck not?
The two of us