“You've met me at a very strange time in my life”
— Edward Norton, “Fight Club”
(I've been using that line in introductions since before Fight Club was a thing. Each time truer than the last. That's not a complaint, btw.)
— Rolling Stone, damning me with faint praise
I'm often in the field or in work settings which preclude easy Internet access to services like OKCupid. Please don't take it personally if replies are slow. For [redacted] reasons, I no longer carry a cell phone.
I've spent parts of my childhood and adult life overseas, like, for a couple years at a time. When I was 18/19/20 I traveled cross-country and up & down both coasts on Greyhound with just my backpack, sometimes going to cities where I knew no one and finding places to stay by serendipity and strange luck.
My (more) adult life has also involved a lot of movement. As a teen and in my 20's I did a lot of dissociative drugs, and the outside-looking-in POV they provided on the world has shaped much of my worldview, and left me detached from things and concerns many people would consider crucial.
I don't talk about my life a lot with casual Internet acquaintances, and tend to give vague answers when pressed. Please don't take it personally (sensing a trend?) - if & when I do explain, you'll understand why this is.
Besides, the things we have to say about ourselves often just projections of who we want to be, filled in on some mass-produced Scantron (or Internet quiz) with possible answers attached to little bubbles. Each preconception withers the sense of wonder.
I also spend a non-trivial amount of time answering questions about my life (which people for some reason find fascinating) and other things on Quora. If you want to know about me or my ways of thinking, that's as good a place as any to start
You can also find windows into my life elsewhere (that generally get more frequent updates than OKC does):
My verified public Facebook page.
My Twitter (which, sort of amusingly, has been in the news on its own merit for being a single character).
Music I dig automagically updated at last.fm.
I answer some questions about life, the universe, and everything, on my verified Quora account. Some have been syndicated on Newsweek, Forbes, HuffPo, etc, so they can't suck too much.
I'm on GoodReads if the printed word is your thing.
b. I'm amazing at breaking laptops. ***update I've broken two Chromebooks, one Lenovo, and a Dell this year. ###New update: Two Chromebooks, a Toshiba, and a Kindle Fire so far *this* year.###*** I go through two or three a year. I'm also improbably good at destroying cell phones, or at least I used to be until I had to give them up. As of this writing, I've lost or broken eight pairs of sunglasses in the past two months to unavoidably adverse circumstances. // October 2014 update: I've recently broken my MacBook Air screen and killed another mobile device. ^5. I haven't broken any more sunglasses though, if you don't count the ones I fixed after breaking.
c. I've come near death more than most people I know, but I'm not 100% sure whether surviving time after time l means I'm good or bad at it.
d. A senior DoD official once asserted that I'd led the most interesting life of any non-combatant they knew. I would have said "improbable" rather than "interesting", but still.
e. Also, I really enjoy shining shoes. *gleam* I just never seem to do this in time for anything other than dustfests and mud.
f. Pattern recognition / noticing fine details and being occasionally oblivious to their possible life-changing (for me and others) consequences. I'm working on getting better at the oblivious part.
g. Stoicism (or so I'm told - as a character trait, not study of philisophy).
h. Language, reading people, maskirovka, and intersections of the three.
i. Being more wordy than I really need to be, so I'm forcing myself to make this the last entry on the list.
“It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.”
— Johann Friedrich Von Schiller
“Success is a relative thing — and the victory of a boy at marbles is equal to the victory of an Octavius at Actium when measured by the scale of cosmic infinity.”
— H.P. Lovecraft
“If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.”
— Scoop Nisker; KFOG 104.5 San Francisco
“If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.”
— Spider Robinson; God Is An Iron
“You can calculate the worth of a man by the caliber of his enemies.”
— Gustave Flaubert *
* - I really thought that last one was cool until I realized how lackluster my enemies are at killing/harming/inconveniencing me.
Oh, and also, the Interblags.
tl;dr: Everybody's somebody's war criminal.
More seriously, I feel I should mention that I've been married. To a woman. Ended in divorce after about three years. Surprised many folks I know since I've mainly dated guys.
If you didn't think it was hot when Alex Krycek and Special Agent Mulder kissed (or, more accurately, Krycek kissed a confused Mulder), let's just not ever talk.
With that disclaimer out of the way, you should contact me if ...
You're willing to either use encryption for communication or learn to use it. I'm kind of big on PERSEC/COMSEC. Specking of which, you can find my PGP/GPG key on my Keybase profile, or just the key itself by clicking here.
You have strange luck.
You appreciate hack value.
You've read all the way down here and haven't been successfully put off by my attempts to come across as less approachable & more pretentious than I really am.
Be funny! \(ツ)/¯
Be confident! \o/
Justify your existence.
(You can e-mail me at Adrian [at] Lamo [dot] org. Please put "notspam" in the subject for faster processing.)