43Chicago, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
In the interest of being transparent, you should probably know that my life is extremely full, and I'm really not in the market for romantic relationships at this moment. That said, I'm always happy to chat with and meet like-minded folks, so I'm certainly open to that much, at least.

I'm a 42 year old, fairly well-adjusted geek in Chicago. I like to cling to the notion that I'm at least somewhat interesting, but that may well be an illusion. At any rate, I'm always interested in some intelligent conversation, or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Also, in the end, I'm interested in folks who are local to Chicago. That said, if you live in some exotic locale (like, say, Montana or something) and take it in your head to drop me a line, by all means feel free. :)

I am whip-smart, waaaaaaaaaay left of center, and perhaps more than a bit kinky.
What I’m doing with my life
Somehow trying to make my Philosophy degree appear practical. I'm a corporate trainer, generally geeky-type person by night, and personal growth facilitator (no, really) on the odd weekend. I'm happy to say I've reached a point in my life where I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, and my ego doesn't bruise too easily. This is a good thing, considering my skill at self-deprecation.

Honestly, life is pretty good these days.* I have wonderful friends and partners, a career that's gone through various incarnations and appears to be turning into something more like what I want, enough money to pay the bills and not worry too often, and a far greater sense of what I'm all about than I've had in the past.

*It should probably be noted that I consider it either an act of faith or utter stupidity to actually put that optimistic view of my life into words. I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.**

**And, indeed, the other shoe has dropped in a few different ways recently. However, the aforementioned wonderful friends and partners remain wonderful, and I've come to realize exactly how important that support structure really is in my life. So while I wouldn't necessarily describe life as "fantastic" at the moment, I'm keeping that bit as a reminder that the people around me still make it pretty okay, even when stuff gets rough.
I’m really good at
Telling stories. I think this talent came from observing my grandfather, who had a way of telling stories that were, at best, "based on real events". Some of my fondest memories are of sitting on the floor in my grandparents' living room when I was a kid, the smell of my grandpa's cigars filling the air as he spun a tale about people I didn't know and indeed would probably never meet. Even so, he made them fascinating enough that you felt you knew all the involved parties by the time it was over, and what's more, you *cared* about them. It was a pretty amazing thing, and he was as good at it as anyone I've met.

I'm not yet in my grandfather's league, I'm afraid, but I'm not too bad. Perhaps I need to start smoking cigars.
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, you might notice that I'm either a short-ish human being, or an exceptionally tall grasshopper. The opposable thumbs and lack of antennae suggest the former.

Most people discover my sense of humor pretty quickly. That's not to say I can't be serious, but I like to think that just about any situation can be improved with some humor injected into it. This is, as you might expect, not a theory that's shared by everyone.

Outside of that, people tend to either notice that I'm smart, or just a smartass.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: This list is always growing, I'm happy to say. I read quite a bit of science fiction, but my tastes are really all over the board. Recent books I've enjoyed include Just A Geek by Wil Wheaton, System of the World (the last volume in Neal Stephenson's insanely long epic), Down and Out In The Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow, and Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I just wrapped up Captain's Fury by Jim Butcher, and I enjoyed it greatly. Other authors I like include Nick Hornby, JRR Tolkien, Neil Gaiman, Joel Rosenberg, Larry, yeah. Lots of science fiction and fantasy stuff, apparently.

Movies: Well, the Lord of the Rings epic was a three-year high for my geeky side. I love The Princess Bride, High Fidelity, The Godfather, The Usual Suspects, Rounders, Casablanca, All the President's Men, and (guilty pleasure here) Van Helsing.

Music: My favorite singer is a guy named Stuart Davis (who basically nobody has heard of). A few others include Jonathan Coulton, Crash Test Dummies, Tori Amos, U2, Tenacious D, and Five for Fighting. I really enjoy hearing music that's new to me - one of the more recent additions to my list is Great Big Sea. In, shall we say, rather specific moods, Rob Zombie and NiN are also favorites of mine.

Foods: I'm a decent cook, when I can be bothered. I make a mean chicken marsala and an even better homemade pizza (to be fair, I stole the recipe for the crust from my parents, who stole it from a pizza joint they worked at about 35 years ago). On those rare occasions when I'm feeling overly ambitious, I've been known to try my hand at jambalaya, with somewhat mixed results. Also, I make good breakfast food. Eggs, bacon and an english muffin, along with a good cup of coffee...that's a recipe for a good morning. Or afternoon. Whatever.

Despite having some skill in the kitchen, dinner at home is often something exciting like a grilled cheese sandwich. I do have fun cooking for friends, though. My only rule is that if I cook, someone else gets to help with the dishes. Seems fair enough, right?
Six things I could never do without
Air, food, shelter, blah blah blah...okay, let's assume that I get those as a gimme. Here are a few other things I need:

Smart people, intelligent conversation, good sex, my computer (I know, I know...), a good book I haven't read yet, and my glasses or contacts (hey, a guy's gotta be able to see, right?)

If I could sneak in one more - a creative project to which I don't have enough free time to devote. At the moment there are several of these percolating and fighting for my attention.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Well, the aforementioned Philosophy degree rather requires that I spend time overthinking most everything. So really, pick a topic and it's probably on my list. Mind you, that doesn't mean I have anything like an informed opinion about said topic, but I've found that that's a bit overrated.

Lately I've been wondering about when I'm going to feel like a grownup. There are many days when it seems like I actually have things together, and at the same time I can feel like a little kid playing dress-up. I don't know that that's entirely a bad thing, but it does make me wonder.

Reading over my profile today for the first time in a few months, I am also wondering at my apparent need to structure almost every sentence in the same manner. "blah blah blah, but....yadda yadda yadda." Oy.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm not sure that I have typical Fridays. Depending on my mood and the lay of the land, I may be out with friends, home writing or buried in a good book, or avoiding any sense of productivity whatsoever. There are some occasions when I am working late on Fridays, which also involves muttering under my breath.

I might also be out doing interesting things that don't necessarily bear repeating in such a public setting. Maybe.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In the interest of being overt, I'm nonmonagmous. I'm fortunate enough to have wonderful, long-term relationships that feed me in various ways, and they are absolutely critical to my happiness. I'm not, in any way, looking for an exclusive romantic relationship - been there, done that, and it really isn't my thing. Polyamory is what works for me, though you'll find that I'm not any sort of evangelist about it. I feel like everyone has their own relationship structure and approach that will work for them, and I'm not at all interested in trying to convince anyone of what the should want.

I'm also not much for sharing every blessed detail about my social life with anyone happening to come across a public profile. That said, I'm pretty open to answering questions, so feel free to ask.

Also, you should be aware that this whole bit sounded a lot more eloquent in my head than it came out.
You should message me if
Honestly, my life tends to be really busy. I'm not actively looking for a romantic relationship right now, and I don't really anticipate that changing anytime soon. Having said that, I'm also of the opinion that being open to experiences and opportunities is a good thing, know. That's ambiguous.

Now, to actually answer the question:

You want to learn why the city of Amarillo, TX should be avoided at all costs.

Your list of critical questions for a new friend or date doesn't include asking where I buy my clothes or what kind of car I drive. My answers will surely be disappointing. Unless you have a thing for aging, fuel-efficient compact imports - in that case, I'm your guy.

I tend to be drawn to people who are intelligent, independent, and passionate about something. Honestly, it hardly matters *what* you're passionate about, just that there's something outside of reality television and the like that interests you. I try to surround myself with people who have something they can teach me, and hopefully I can return the favor from time to time. A sense of curiosity is also an absolute must. I am enthralled by people who want to learn about the world around them.

In the end, if you can make me laugh and tell a good story, chances are we'll get along pretty well.

Bonus points if you can kick my ass at chess, which frankly isn't all that hard to do.
The two of us