GENTLEMEN (MENTLEGEN!), allow me to spit out these cigarettes and remove this ski mask from my visage. (God help you if you just got that reference. Also - you're cool, so get with me).
My name is MIHAIL, and I hail (get it? ME-hail, so I-hail? hurhurh) from that good country of Bulgaria, located in the pool of misery otherwise known as Eastern Europe. I've lived in those there states for nearly 15 years now - 11 of which were spent in butt-fuck North Carolina.
To make a long story short, I got sick of that hell hole, decided
to do something about it, and voila! Moved to San Francisco - after three years of living in Oakland! After some debate about my career path, I'm starting over in England. I'm willing to meet anyone if you're interesting enough, so don't be shy girls and boys....also, if you're a pet rock, holla at me.
So what kind of mystery man can you hope to engage with? I can definitely self apply some labels, but I think I'll just let you guys figure it out. Shouldn't be hard! I definitely love technology. Big fan of transhumanism and laser eyes, you know? I love fantasy and sci-fi. I used to play tons of video games - even profesionally (MMOs, RPGs, FPSs) as well as DnD (which I'm still open to), but since college, that stuff has taken a sort of backseat to studying and socializing. :P More on all of this later.
That said, I've started doing some slight modeling on the side,
mainly because it's fun and interesting, but the occasional paying gig doesn't hurt either. As such, I am naturally vain and
superfluous and thus braggadocious on a quotidian basis. That was the SARCASM - you know, like a joke. (I can't believe I've pointed this out and people still misinterpret) If you haven't noticed yet, I am very much used to be a skeletal lich. No, I'm not referring to my vast, dark powers, my eldritch knowledge, or my acumen. I used to be sort of a twig. But now at 180 pounds (up from 135), I'm more of a...muscular twig.
That said, the clothes can indeed make the man, and as Twain once said, "Naked people have little or no influence on society." While I don't exactly wish to dip my fingers into the fetid cesspool we call society, if I look good, I feel good. Given my weight and height, that means I try wear clothes that fit. I'm not always dapper, or sartorial, but I try to make some sort of effort. You should too.
A few hobbies: Riding my bike, reading books, art, cinema and cartoons (anything!), exploring, learning OUTSIDE of school, being a hooligan, trying to diversify my activities in SF.
Some things I'd like to make hobbies: Working out (due to aforementioned height and weight combination), climbing, acting (improvisational, perhaps?), cooking.
For those curious (for whatever reasons), I'm a scorpio, and I
match my profile for nearly 90% of it. Although I simply believe it to be coincidence in my case. I don't give horoscopes or zodiacs much credence outside of my case. If you come in here and start telling me how the moon and planets have an effect on the dihydrogen monoxide in our bodies during pregnancy, I'll dismiss your lunatic ravings immediately. Get scientific, and maybe we'll talk.
I majored in Cellular/Molecular Biology (Pre-med/Pre-pharm). After being accepted into medical school, I realized my time spent learning all this material had destroyed my interest in it. So I'm getting a different bachelors in what I originally wanted - evil corporate finance. There's a specialization year for the evil part. Now that I've come back from San Francisco, most of my free time is spent studying and drinking. Progressive, I know.
Continuously hiding people on OKC. Currently up to 41,125+!
Laughing at women in Eastern Europe.
I'm also a fairly fast reader so I burn through books. (Harhar...so fanny)
Planning. I'm a messy person, but when it comes to something I'll be doing (going somewhere or attending something) I tend to plan ahead to make sure everything goes smoothly.
Research. I'm an excellent data miner.
Anything else would be based on where I am with my life, what I'm doing, and who's looking. However, I'm generally pretty quick with my humor.
Things in my ears, possibly. No, I don't mean non-stop dicks. Just increased my size to 8mm, and I have big fat hoops hanging in there. Nice and shiny raven lures - currently thieved by said ravens.
Apparently, I have extremely soft hands. Like touching a baby's bottom. YOU PERV.
People say I have a slight accent (although many can't pinpoint
The giant bulge in my pants? Stop objectifying me bro.
I tend to have a very dynamic face and I back it up with some mad
I can be brash from time to time, but I still take time to warm up with my humor and mannerisms.
I've also had people tell me I'm intimidating. I don't know why
that is, but I do look like I'm scowling much of the time. This is
because I'm actually squinting - I need glasses or contacts really badly. But, like George Costanza, I simply squint myself down to 20/20.
Wizards of the Coast (Anything by R.A. Salvatore)
Warhammer Fantasy and 40K novels
Kafka on the Shore
The Wind Up Bird Chronicle
The Saint, The Surfer, And The CEO
Crime and Punishment
A Song of Ice and Fire series
(Currently keeping up with something like 30 mangas.)
Last book read: Anansi Boys
Ask me about comics!
Countless other Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Fiction, and Non-Fiction books. I read a considerable chunk of Russian literature in 9th-11th grade, but have forgotten the vast majority of it. Definitely needs to be revisited.
Movies (Love watching ANY movies. Seriously, cinema is one of the biggest parts of my life and I only wish I could work in that field.):
Shaun of the Dead
Scott Pilgrim vs The World
Lucky Number Slevin
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.
A Single Man
The Big Lebowski
Hobo with a Shotgun
Be Kind Rewind
Lost in Translation (can't believe I didn't put this up here sooner)
There Will Be Blood
The Cabin in the Woods
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
Life Aquatic, Rushmore.
Last movie watched: Tokyo!
Quite a few more, but I won't continue.
Jake and Amir
House of Cards
Rick and Morty
Angel (It's nothing like Buffy)
Game of Thrones
Everybody Loves Raymond
Toonami (Back when it existed)
Conan (Conan O'Brien)
COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE
Korgoth of Barbaria
Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
The Regular Show
Ed, Edd, and Eddy
Old Futurama/Old Family Guy
(I've seen something like 50 anime movies and more than 1,500 anime episodes. However, I haven't seen anime in 2-3 years)
Oh, and I hate the Big Bang Theory. We're still perpetuating the stereotype of the awkward, socially inept nerd? It's ok, here's some forced science jokes. HURR.
I have very varied tastes.
Acoustic/Alternative Metal and Rock/Bebop/Jazz/Ska/Electro/Electronic/
Anything that falls inside these. Here's some of the things I listen to from various genres: Pantera/Megadeth/Beirut/Yeasayer/Mord Fustang/Prodigy/MSI/Alice in Chains/Juno Reactor/Capital Cities/Edward Sharpe/C2C/Neil Young/Gogol Bordello/Sisters of Mercy/Clan of Xymox/Apocalyptica/Starfucker/The Strokes/Dvorak/Prokofiev/Shostakovich/Five Iron Frenzy/Cherry Poppin Daddies/etc.
Also, here's my hype machine playlist - where I usually keep my eletronica stuff, along with some indie:
Last show seen: C2C
Anyone down for Naked and Famous or The Blow?
Song as of now: Big Wild - Venice Venture
NOTE: I'm definitely looking for people to go to shows/concerts with, so if that sounds like it might be up your alley, hit me up!
I like most dishes. Except maybe for sushi (although I haven't had any really GOOD legit sushi, so I can't exactly say that)
Italian, Greek, Lebanese, Chinese, Thai, American, Mexican, etc. I will say that Ramen has a special place in my heart. Only acceptable way to drown.
Some form of technology. Progress incarnate, I need it...mp3 player, phone, laptop, whatever! Makes life infinitely easier.
Game entertainment. Be it video games, board games, or purely imaginary like DnD, I need something of that sort.
Books. I need good things to read, especially relative to my interests.
Freedom? I like being able to finish my classes for the day and say that if I wanted, I could just go to San Francisco (FANTASTICAL city) and just chill.
Stimulation. Any sort. Sexual/Physical or Romantic, Humorous or witty, intellectual/deep, adventurous, dangerous, something. Call it unfortunate, but like most in our generation, I'm growing more and more accustomed to instant gratification.
That's only about 5...but whatever.
OH. And BIG BUTTS. Ass man through and through - apologies to all the buxom babes, but it's probably an ass fetish in general.
My classes. I *used to* have a lot of study time every week. Things like Physics and research *used to* REQUIRE a significant portion of my time.
Why my personality chart describes me as overwhelmingly wealthy - when I'm a broke ass college student. Then I realized - the chart is you compared to everyone else on OKC. Jeeez, people.
What I will do in San Francisco this week. It's been a dream to live in or close to the city. So I spend EVERY weekend I have there. It's lovely. (Update - since I actually live here, I'd be hard for me not to spend my weekends in SF. Holla at the progress)
How to meet new people without going to a bar/club. I don't exactly like places like that for meeting people. (This does not mean I'm not willing to meet at a bar on a first date)
Why 85%+ of people I've every come across on OKC are completely unreliable and completely blase about this whole experience.
Why half the women under 25 in and around North Carolina are god-fearing single moms. Get your shit together, people.
How to make people laugh and how to slack off and still attain high grades. I absolutely adore discussing the nonsensical and the silly. People who embody these or wax poetic in regards to topics which are labeled as such will be welcomed with open arms. If you can be sharp and witty about it on top, then..dear me, I love thee./cheese
Otherwise, lets hang out! If not....watching a movie. Playing a video game. Browsing tumblr. Browsing FoH. Browsing Facebook? Browsing Reddit. Can you tell how much I like the internet? Anything but clubbing, please.
I will not meet anyone here for a "coffee date." If that's something you prefer, it may be better to leave it alone. It's more the principle rather than the activity. I don't like meeting people for short periods of time. Don't get me wrong - I love beer, but if there's nothing else on the schedule that day, I'll turn you down. (Meaning, yes, I've met people for beer plenty of delicious, delicious times)
I have a chrome extension that pulls up people's pictures without me visiting their profile (will still read as a visit to you, though). So don't assume that I've seen your profile just because it says I've paid you a visit.
I don't give a shit about your Machu Picchu selfie.
Tumblr: Removed since it has a lot of questionable content! Just ask if you want it.
I like Tsingtao. Stop hating on that shit, yo.
I've officially started to hide people I'm not interested in because I'm sick of seeing repeat offenders or people I've rejected from quivver on the OKC news feed.
Probably not needed since it's common sense, but obviously my modeling pictures portray me as more attractive than I probably am. They're also quite out of date by a few years.
Arrested Development season 4 gives me a stomach-ache full of bees.
Most people I've met or dated have been an average of 3-5 years older than I was at the time.
I hold conversations with myself fairly often, when I'm alone. I mostly talk to myself in an arrogant manner and make a lot of childish and silly noises. Fuck yeah, keeper.
You feel like we'd get along, based on what you've read above. And especially if you actually read it (meaning, you DIDN'T skim). So few people take the time. (And again, my name is at the TOP of the profile. Don't ask me what my name is, please. OKC is here so I don't have to deal with the bullshit I trudge through in bars)
You adhere to proper spelling and grammar.
You have a big butt.
You play D&D or video games in general. Always down for that. My username is "projectoffset" on Path of Exile and Dota2! I no longer play Diablo 3 (currently re-checking it, actually). Lastly, join me in a Counter Strike: GO gun-game.
You enjoy being extremely silly and not taking things too seriously. This may include screaming at pigeons, watching awesome cartoons, and balancing it all with mature commentary on today's society. Because we're opinionated, damn it.
You want to help me with fashion!
You want to join me in the gym and lift heavy things up and down.
If I won't be the only one sending the texts. Show some interest - jeez.
Let me warn you, however. While I've put "Long term dating" in my "Looking for" section, that's not exactly true.
I've made it a point NOT to look for relationships. I feel like it forces too much that shouldn't be forced. Interest, and attraction, and love should come naturally.If you think there can be something between us, then by all means - hang out with me. If it's true, then something will probably happen, and things will escalate of their own volition. That said, 3 very important things when it comes to dating:
1. I'm not looking to date or enter relationships with people who need alone time or independent time. I have plenty of that, and have had plenty of that. It's really not something I miss or need to have constantly. I prefer people I can spend all my time with as much as possible. Even if it is just the napping together. One of the reasons I would bother to do this is so I can share my life with someone, that's ALL my life.
2. Affectionate people only. I am very much one of those, and I would prefer it if you were too.
3. Be on point with communication. If we're not together I like to still talk to someone. I don't want to be the only one initiating conversations, I don't want to go days without contact. That's not for me and you feel like an acquaintance if that's how you conduct yourself.
I was initially on this site in order to look for friends, but over the 1-1.5 years I've tried, it has honestly left me with more disappointment and frustration, that's not worth the time I've invested. I'm now open to more opportunities to meet people. Although I would prefer it to be casual, and have it move on its own from there.