34Washington, United States
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My self-summary
People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.

I'm a 31 year old soon to be divorced veteran, student, and sports junkie. I spent 11 years in the US Army as a Public Affairs Specialist/Broadcast Journalist. I needed something new in my life, so I decided to get out and go to school on my GI Bill. I am the father of 2 gorgeous young girls who I get to see every other weekend at a minimum. They are the best thing that ever happened to me and I absolutely adore them.

I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.

I play rugby, soccer, basketball and tennis. I like watching college football, NBA basketball, the NHL, and European soccer on TV. I also enjoy going to all those live as well baseball and MLS soccer games (but those two I can't watch on TV). I'm a fan of the Florida Gators, Boston Celtics /Bruins/Red Sox, Tampa Bay Bucs, and Liverpool FC.

I'm all about havin' fun. You know, get a couple cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen. Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. Anyway, I kinda known for my catch phrase WHAMMY! As in Gene Tenace at the plate... iiittt WHAMMY! WHAMMY!

I like good bourbon and cheap beer. I like a nice flannel shirt, kayaking a new river, creek or run, & hiking in Shenandoah. If there's anything else you want to know, hit me up or check me out on the twitters, it's the_timbo_slice.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm kind of a big deal. People know I know me. I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogony.

I'm currently debating if/when I want to WWOOF-ing in New Zealand.
I’m really good at
Making my daughters laugh and remembering useless trivia.
Navigating the DC (and Seoul) Metro system.
The first things people usually notice about me
My red bushy beard, but it used to be my eyes or my quick wit.

If I have the girls with me, how increbdibly cute they are.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: For Whom the Bell Tolls, Old Man and the Sea, Sun Also Rises, On the Road, Dharma Bums, Motorcycle Diaries, The Tao of Pooh, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Into the Wild, Into Thin Air, Eiger Dreams, The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hell's Angels, Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman, The Book of Basketball, Friday Night Lights, Can I Keep my Jersey, Fever Pitch, Sex Drugs & Coco Puffs, Killing Yourself to Rock, Blink, Tipping Point, Outliers, Where The Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, Oh the Places You'll Go, Green Eggs & Ham, Madeline

Movies: Anchorman, Talledega Nights, Semi Pro, Stranger Than Fiction, Big Lebowski, Seven Samurai, Great Escape, American Graffiti, Tombstone, Royal Tannenbaums, Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, the Natural, There Will Be Blood, No Country for Old Men, Patton, Full Metal Jacket, Cocktail (it's Cruise's best movie)

Shows: Homeland, Mad Men, Flight of the Conchords, Veep, Nashville, The Wire, Game of Thrones, True Detective, The Newsroom, Deadwood, The West Wing, Lost, Portlandia, Sportscenter, Arrested Development, Modern Family, Adventure Time, The Amazing World of Gumball, Yo Gabba Gabba, Jake & the Neverland Pirates

Music: Arcade Fire, Japandriods, My Morning Jacket, Explosions in the Sky, Avett Brothers, Old Crow Medicine Show, Decemberists, Death Cab for Cutie, Bright Eyes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Jason Isbell, Drive By Truckers, Little Feat, Phish, Grateful Dead, really I listen to anything, but those are my favorites of the moment.

Food: Meat & potatoes, Pizza, Falafel, Sushi, Press Coffee, Good Borboun, Cheap Beer, Malbec wines.
Six things I could never do without
1 Maddie & Maeghan (My daughters)
2 My SmarTrip Card
3 iPad
4 Eagle Rare bourbon
5 My French Press
6 Some type of hat
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to not screw up my daughters and have them end up with daddy issues.
On a typical Friday night I am
The same thing we do every Friday night Pinky, try to take over the world!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a "Carly Rae Jepson" station on my Pandora account and thin Taylor Swift is super under rated.
Also I'm probably the worst parralell parker in all of DC (hence the importance of the SmarTrip Card)
You should message me if
If you appreciate the amazing, weird and complex lyrics of John Prine & Daniel Johnston.

If you appreciate good bourbon & great college football (both come from the southeast).

If you want to be the Tammy to my Coach Taylor.

If you want to.
The two of us