25Mesa, United States
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My self-summary
Ich spreche nicht wirklich Englisch, mein ganzes Profil ist einfach nur mit Google Translate übersetzt. Tut mir leid wenn es ein Missverständnis gab. =) Hihi.

RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

I was never particularly interested in defining myself one way or the other. When you say what something is, you implicitly say what something isn't; what something can't be. And I wouldn't want to ever think of myself as 'can't' being anything. My dream is to one day become a Boeing AH-64 Apache Helicopter with a mixture of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles and Hydra 70 rocket pods. I live in a world of 'can's, not 'can not's.

And failing that, I'd just become a homeless drifter. Then my world would literally be that of cans.

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What I’m doing with my life
Living out the rest of my days in a much needed (and long overdue) retirement from the social realm. At my quincentennial, I feel I've earned it. Two decades is just much too long to have to answer 'How are you?' and 'What's the weather like?'

Slowly deconstructing my entire personhood into a postmodern work of art.

Attempting to master the German language so that I can make small talk and fit in better at the BDSM parties.

Hips and nips. Otherwise I'm not eating.
I’m really good at
Talking my way into bedrooms. Yes, yes. A woman's on rare occasion but my real accomplishments, my real pride lay in my own. In fact, I once talked myself so well into my own bedroom that I didn't leave for nearly five days straight! To date, this remains one of My Proudest Accomplishments.

Being non-existent. And I improve with each passing year. At 15, hundreds of family, friends, and colleagues would've noticed my absence within two days. Now, a total of three might notice I haven't left my room after about a month.

There was a man who lived adjacent to me in my apartment complex; polite, reserved, indifferent; remove the dash of social inelegance and there wasn't a single remarkable thing about him. For all intents and purposes, he was ordinary.

He shot himself last month; body left in his room to rot until nothing but a noxious stench remained. I'm told the opening of his door revealed a commonality of umpteen million flies; well settled in their new home. The damage was so severe that that men in hazmat suits came at night to remove all the carpet. And not a single person noticed for two weeks. His life was dead and rotting long before his body was, and now no vestige of it remains.

This man is my new inspiration in life.
The first things people usually notice about me

My car. More specifically, the trunk of it as I take them back to my place. :|
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm really just a Good Ole' Fashioned Country Gal when it comes down to it. Men with big muscles, bigger trucks and the biggest hearts. <3

I've always prided myself on being a Purveyor of the Fine Arts.

Slayer Fucking Rules! \m/
Six things I could never do without
1) Lying
2) Cheating
3) Stealing
4) Lusting
5) Wrath-ing
6) And bearing false witness

And if you can't say the same then what are you even doing with your life
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How Justin Bieber could let down his entire fanbase by getting Hooked on the Marijuana.

A couple of Noisy Neighbors moved into my head a few years ago. Ever since, it's been so loud up there that I rarely ever notice the silence in real-life.

~ W E D I E Y O U N G ~

'( ° ͜ʖ ͡°) is patient, ( ° ͜ʖ ͡°) is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ( ° ͜ʖ ͡°) does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ( ° ͜ʖ ͡°) never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and ( ° ͜ʖ ͡°). But the greatest of these is ( ° ͜ʖ ͡°)'
On a typical Friday night I am
doing the same thing we do every night, Pinky....

How's my night been?

  \\ Λ_Λ
   \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
    > ⌒ヽ
   /   へ\
   /  / \\
   レ ノ   ヽ_つ
  / /
  / /|
 ( (ヽ
 | |、\
 | 丿 \ ⌒)
 | |  ) /
`ノ )  Lノ
(_/ Fabulous.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit

If I posted the phrase 'nice guy' on here in pure isolation, would it be enough for some Internet Vigilante to cherry pick my profile and indict me as a rapist in a Thoroughly Devastating .JPG.

Ashley Tisdale is wearing my jeans.

Sometimes, I take on too much responsibility and work just a little bit too hard...

Science is in the business of making truths more apparent. Art is in the business of making lies more opaque. I was always an artist.

You know your dating site is Fucked when someone just says their best talent is wasting away in an uneventful existence and the site sees it fit to label this person's dominant, defining personality trait as His Ambition.

I've been on this site over three years and officially answered my 1,000th question today:

'Are you the person you want to be?

Answer: Almost!

Explanation: I want to be a Dead Person. :|'

I think that says more about me than anything else could.

I've made a Terrible Mistake. It says I'm looking for everyone '18-100' but I really meant '1.8 - 10.0' If someone knows how to fix this, please help

Actu Latine orator civius sum. Ignosce, si tuam nuntius non intellego!

Quoque, fabulam telehorasis, 'Family Guy' multum amo!!! XDD
You should message me if
You think it's as amusing as I do that I once submitted a question for use in OkCupid match tests as follows:

"Are you now or have you at any point of your life been a human baby?"

You'd like a nice strong pair of reassuring arms to hold you as you plummet toward the nadir at terminal velocity.

You believe you passionately hate literally all adverbs placed copiously around sentences like there's a five-for-one clearance special on the fucking things as I really truly fucking do...-ly.

You think this video is as hilarious as I do: (spoiler: you won't)

You would like to join my minimalist staged, theater reconstruction of Dikekike's Fesh Pince of Blair

You want to read my short stories.


Toutes mes excuses si mon anglais n'est pas très bon. Je suis encore à apprendre!
The two of us