28New Orleans, United States
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My self-summary
I was born in a Log Cabin, what is now known as Planet Fitness. Bred from a drunken Irishman and a young call girl turned actress, my hopes of making it big in the world seemed to diminish. Until the age of three when I successfully did open heart surgery on my Father. At age five I painted three of the best selling finger paintings in the Wyandotte Street Fair for a combined fifty-seven dollars. At age ten I gave a man mouth to mouth for a new chance at life at the Wave Pool, He kissed me. I didn't kiss back. At age thirteen I invented the Snuggie. At the tender age of fifteen I pitched a no-hitter for the State Kick Ball Championship. When I turned twenty I threw a football over my neighbor's head and House. At age twenty-two I killed Osama Bin Laden with my Bear Hands. The special Bear Hands I made for striking down world leaders. At age twenty-three I stopped giving a fuck. At the spry age of 24 I created an OkCupid account in hopes of selling my body sexually for profit.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm fighting the evils of the United States. Defending the free World with my mighty strength.
I’m really good at
Chopping wood and building a fire.
The first things people usually notice about me
My sweet beard and curled mustache combo.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The Thermals, The Clash, The Shins, Death Cab for Cutie, Manchester Orchestra, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, My Morning Jacket, Justice, MGMT,The sound of a man and a woman making love, Peter, Bjorn and John, Modest Mouse, Of Montreal, Taking Back Sunday, Hit the Lights,chatter at a U.A.W hall, Other Lives,Childish Gambino,TV on the Radio,Alabama Shakes, Fitz and the Tantrums, Kind of like Spitting, The Avett Brothers, Dr.Dog,Trampled by Turtles,The Honorary Title, The Violent Femmes.

Garden State, Monty Python, The Vicious Kind, Scooter Girls 3 (Girls on Scooters with wet Cooters), The Mighty Ducks 1,2,and 3, Pineapple Express, and Kindergarten Cop.

Trailer Park Boys, Louie, Pushing Daisies,Seinfeld.
Six things I could never do without
1. My penis
2. Oxygen
3. My Friends
4. Bicycles
5. The ability to leap a box of Kleenex brand tissues with a single bound.
6. Music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Who decided to yank on a cows utter and say "Whatever comes out of this I'm drinking it and you can't stop me."
On a typical Friday night I am
Hustlin' Hoes and beatin' down Bros. HOLLA!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You'll have to message me for that
You should message me if
You like granny smith apples, you want to ask me serious interesting questions to actually get to know me or you want to talk about mother fucking space. Also if you like lil chubsters
The two of us