29Tyseley, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
Look, yeah, you don't like me and I don't like you, but we've got a job to do here so how about we put all that aside and try and get this sorted out. Obviously there are deadlines at stake here.

(Please note: I may actually like you. I'm choosing to keep my cards quite close to my chest at this point.)

I've been noticing a few Americans visiting my profile lately, if that's you, "howdy pardner". I'm probably not going to come see you in America because I have a (hopefully irrational) worry that I'm on a CIA watchlist, but hey, if you're coming to the UK hit me up.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a job in a building in the centre of a town that just so happens to be Birmingham. The IT department have just recently upgraded me from a regular PC monitor to a widescreen PC monitor, so obviously I must be quite a big deal.

I rent a one-bedroom flat. I own (among other things) a television, a George Foreman grill, and a crowbar. I have a gold tooth, but I'm not sure whether I own that or not come to think of it, all property is theft anyway.

This one time I was sat outside watching an ant, and it was carrying a big bit of leaf in its mouth, taking it back to the anthill. I waited til it was just at entrance to the anthill then I pinched the bit of leaf out of its mouth. It looked around for a while, seemingly wondering "where's my leaf gone?", then it turned back and went to find a new bit of leaf. This is probably one of the worst things I've ever done but at the same time I couldn't stop laughing. Thought I'd better disclose this upfront.
I’m really good at
I can do this thing where I clap one hand against the other while clicking my fingers between each clap.

I can touch all of my back.

I am good at experiencing the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

I'm exploring transvestitism at the moment! (and hoping to become good at that, although there is a bit of a learning curve in adapting to a new clothing paradigm). Don't message me I guess if you have a problem with a boy wearing a dress, (but also, 'get with the times grandma!', etc.)
The first things people usually notice about me
That I exist within three physical dimensions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like good television, mediocre films, and bad music.

If you want to play Pokémon with me, my friend code is 3754-7327-4463. Anyone accepted!
(EDIT: Not really touched Pokémon lately, but will be on it like a car bonnet when Sun/Moon comes out)
((EDIT EDIT: I'm having a great time going on little wander-abouts playing Pokémon Go. Let me know if you have any good hints or want to go gang up on a rival gym (I'm red team).))
Six things I could never do without
I always think the answers to this question would be particularly helpful to any potential torturer.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I do all my thinking on Twitter. It is @tomOdaighre if you want any sort of insight into my internal monologue.
On a typical Friday night I am
Asleep, eventually.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a birthmark on my penis.
You should message me if
If you want to. If you think I will want you to, (I probably will want you to, if that helps). Fair play to any of you who are looking for "just friends", but I have plenty of friends, and am sort of looking for someone to be more than friends with. Unless you are saying "just friends" to be coy and are actually mad up for some smooching.
(The 'non-monogamous' thing isn't a deal breaker FYI. Just something I'm interested in trying out. Beggars can't be choosers, etc...)
((That being said, in the non-skeeziest way possible, I would like to emphasise that I'd like to meet people who are interested in some kind of casual, sexual arrangement. I suffer with sexual anxiety a bit and if anyone horny and patient likes the idea of (ahem) working that out with me, it would be very appreciated.))
Finally! If I message you and you are just totally not interested, feel free to just ignore me! My attitude to this is that responding just out of politeness is a waste of time for both of us.
K, cheers, I love you, bye.
The two of us