29Washington, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a theatre artist, writer, food lover, boxer & cat lady with a sharp tongue.
What I’m doing with my life
Day jobbing very hard (isn't it always the case in D.C.?) I work with very small nonprofits to help them be less bad at things, and it's unclear if my efforts help.

On the weekends, I go to fight club. I just broke the first rule I guess, but wouldn't you if you went to fight club?

Dipping my toes into the theatre scene - I moved from Seattle WA last year, and haven't yet settled in. I'll be doing a fringe show this summer.
I’m really good at
1) Cooking without a recipe.
2) Punching.
3) Spotting the bullshit.
4) Making cats love me and do that thing where they put their scent all over you and it's sweet, but actually it's an act of territorial aggression.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm on a bike, I may be yelling at drivers. I laugh real loud and make pretty good jokes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Here I'm just going to share a 1-minute performance piece I wrote this one time.
Dear Taylor Swift,

I love you so much.

This is a controversial opinion in feminist circles, because your songs often position yourself, willowy doe-eyed goddess that you are, against an unnamed female rival, usually a brunette, who may “wear short skirts” like that matters, or “is an actress…better known for the things she does on the mattress, woah” – not only does that sting, not your best rhyme I have to say.

But still I remain faithful, because I know what you really are – a ruthless businesswoman, a shark, dedicated to chewing men up, spitting them out, and turning their pain into cold hard cash, wrenched from the pockets of heartsick teenage girls everywhere.

I respect that.

And I respect the ruse – that adorable blonde 8-foot-tall baby deer act is flawless. Nobody knows the truth. Nobody but you, me and this audience.

So just keep groovin’, Tay Tay! Cause the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate….[lights out]
Six things I could never do without
fizzy water, fizzy conversation, my bike, tinkering with food, playing dress-up, my cats.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Intersectional feminism.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home being boring, I'm 84 years old. I could do much better.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I floss daily.
You should message me if
You also practice good oral hygiene. And can hold up your end of a conversation.
The two of us