tonewicks
45San Francisco, United States
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tonewicks
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My self-summary
{5/29/17: Profile currently under renovation~ enhanced brevity and some updates in process...}

A smattering of "me", in random order:
*I don't fit into (these) text boxes very well
*I'm good at (and perhaps even thrive upon) paradox (except when I don't ;*))
*Playfulness/laughter/humor/witty banter= essential for me, and a necessary 'language' of connection for me with others
*And, I greatly value truth, freedom, authenticity, presence, simplicity, kindness, integrity, justice, common sense, good communication.... (there's more, and, this'll do for now)
*'Bihomal' and I like that I've retained some of my more stereotypical Northeast-- I'm from Cambridge, MA--
sensibilities/qualities; I've lived here since '97, and, lots of close family & friends in MA & NY whom I visit regularly
*I have both highly competitive and fairly unambitious sides to me (see above-mentioned paradox)
*I feel much less need/desire to 'take care' of another and (hopefully) more capacity to/interest in 'care/ing for' another
*I delight in young children and feel very grateful for the multitude of biological and 'chosen' (good friends' children) nieces & nephews in my life (this said, I'm also quite okay at the moment with not having my own children... and, am open to this happening, if the circumstances are 'right')
*Making to-do lists and checking things off once completed=very satisfying
*Words & Numbers= very cool, very fun, very interesting, and I enjoy using/playing with them (i.e. 'spoonerizing'-- bonus point if you know this; Pig Latin; punning; number pattern finding/creating; etc)
*I love Dr. Seuss (and also love it when others spell his name correctly!)
*I love sports (and have ever since I was about 3 or 4 years-old).
*My 3 months in Ecuador (back in '94) inspired meditation practice/spiritual deepening, and rather mediocre (at best) Spanish-speaking ability
*Spiritual, not so much religious (the whole topic requires a conversation to do it justice)
*I can wiggle my ears.
*I'm (mostly) left-handed
*I can be extremely irreverent... and, I can also be very reverent
*I love it when others, as well as myself, are able to acknowledge/embrace/welcome their limitations/weaknesses/challenges
*I like to eat more than I like to cook
*I can be quite zany/wacky/absurd and also rather stoic/quiet/withdrawn (generally not all at the same time)
*Taking care of myself on all levels is a priority
*I consider myself quite sensitive and intuitive in many ways, and, there are moments when I feel like I just don't get it! ;*]
*I love a good view/vista (though who doesn't?)
*The color purple (not the book or the movie, the actual color, especially violet)
*Puffy clouds
*I love a good road trip and I really like to drive
*I can be an anal/compulsive recycler/composter, and at work will go 'dumpster diving' to sort things into their appropriate bins
*I love consolidating and simplifying
*Punctuation of various forms & emoticons

{More (or less) to be added here...}
What I’m doing with my life
This Rilke quote feels like a good summation:
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day."

Trying to show up for it (my life) as fully as possibly (succeeding at some moments more than others).

And, some of the fine-print includes:

Work
~program manager, facilitator, trainer, mindfulness teacher with a social services non-profit (more details upon request and/or further connection)
~volunteer community mediator

Play
~time with friends
~outdoors in the many beautiful spots the Bay Area (and beyond) has to offer (Lands' End, Tennessee Valley, Tilden, Crissy Field, GG Park, and the list goes on...)
~multiple trips/year to the Northeast to see family & friends
~playing tennis
~dancing
~scrabble
~pondering whether to start more serious training for a 12K run in July
~tv/movie/sports-viewing (especially Warriors)
~used to do more of and still really like: improv theater; ping-pong; a good game of catch (frisbee and/or other)

Other
- 'inner work'/psycho-spiritual practice(s)-- aka, meditation & related exploration/contemplation; aka, what's REALLY going on here (this human experience/life)??/freedom now/just being
~being socially/environmentally conscious
~trying to take good care of myself/others/this planet in the midst of all the messes we humans are so good at making (and not always cleaning up so well)
I’m really good at
~Being playful/spontaneous
~Wittiness/Banter
~Quirkiness/Silliness
~Using (or perhaps over-using) the backslash (as you may have noticed!)
~Many sports (both playing and as a fan)
~Using my left hand/arm (you might say I'm left-handed! ;^])
~Remembering numbers
~Following through
~Being honest
~Supporting others
~Listening
~Connecting with young children
~Taking time for/paying attention to myself
~Maintaining balance (in my life)
~Taking care of myself (physically, emotionally, etc)
~Eating (I recently had a medical procedure that precluded solid foods and most liquids for over a day-- a good challenge!)
~Maintaining connections that are important to me (with family & friends)
~Remembering birthdays (yes, Facebook does also help with this)
~Appreciating clouds
~Talking to animals (I think my housemate's dog has heard enough of my absurdity!)
~Making French Toast (though what was once a weekly happening is now a rather sporadic treat)
~Applying multiple condiments to many a meal
~Moderation (except when excess strikes(!), which one might say is happening with this profile "^})
~Rhyming
~Timing (I say this not just to prove my rhyming prowess [I'm sure you're very impressed! ;*)], but I actually am pretty good at keeping track of and estimating length of time)
~Embedded parenthetical statements (in case you haven't noticed [or, have you...?!])
~Guessing the outdoor temperature and other number-related matters
~Communicating (in various forms)
~Food shopping
~Knowing when a list is long enough(??? open to debate)
The first things people usually notice about me
Whatever you notice first is the correct answer.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
~Books/Authors:
Wherever You Go, There You Are; David Sedaris; David Foster Wallace; Pema Chodron; Jack Kornfield; Rumi; Hafiz; David Whyte; AH Almaas; Adyashanti; Malcolm Gladwell; Po Bronson
~Movies:
Most Pixar; most Wes Andersen; 13 Years a Slave; Inglorious Bastards; Zootopia; Star Wars (such a memorable part of my childhood); Naked Gun (the first one-- I believe this is the movie at which I've laughed the longest and hardest, and, at which I lost my gummy bears only to find them wedged in the seat at the end); Pulp Fiction; The Princess Bride; Superbad; Pan's Labyrinth; Do The Right Thing; (and, many I'm currently forgetting).
~Music:
For dancing-- Dancehall Reggae; Dubstep; Drum and Bass; Bhangra; Hip-Hop/"good" Rap
Also: Bonobo; Thievery Corporation; Kaskade; Santigold; Sia; Matisyahu; Emancipator; Tracy Chapman; Bob Marley; Fleetwood Mac; Lykke Li (sp.?)
~TV:
Better Call Saul; Fargo; The Americans; Veep; Silicon Valley; Last Week Tonight; The Samantha Bee Show; Bloodline; The Wire; Arrested Development; Boardwalk Empire; Breaking Bad; Friday Night Lights
~Food:
I'm versatile, as long as it's natural/organic/high-quality (I'm a food snob in this way, and, I try not to impose it on others... and... "how can you eat that crap?!" ;*))
Six things I could never do without
(In no particular order of importance...)
+ Having/Creating as many options as I want/need
+ Friends & Family
+ Sports & Exercise
+ Playfulness & (good) Humor
+ Words & Numbers
+ Trees & Clouds (the Nature thing, generally)
+ Being real & finding deep satisfaction in connection with myself/others
+ Presence & Kindness
+ Good/Healthy food (and... dessert, please)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
You name it, I could be thinking about it! My mind is pretty amazing at generating a wonderful diversity & abundance of fairly useless thoughts, with a few gems thrown in for good measure. ;*)
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging with friend(s) [in or out], having a mellow evening solo (generally a really nice occurrence!), catching up on a favorite (DVR'd) show, watching a game, playing Scrabble, dancing, all (well, not all at once!) and/or none of the above.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'll keep you in suspense on this one, and, I'd rather share such things with you in a different context. I will admit that I can be a fairly private person, playing it "close to the vest" at times, and am rather selective about what and with whom I share more "private" things. This said, in the right connection/circumstances, there's pretty much nothing I won't share, and I find it usually very satisfying and rewarding to "bare my soul".

I will also share that I'm in a place of feeling open and receptive to different possibilities for and ways of connecting-- from something that is platonic, to primarily sexual, to something that could end up being long-term partnership (with or without having children). I'm most interested in finding out what the "truth(s)" of our connection is(/are), rather than trying to fit it into a preconceived idea/desired outcome (mine or yours). For me, this is a somewhat newfound and rather "liberated" place from which to be exploring relationship.
You should message me if
Any or all of these apply:

Why not?.... You are intrigued by what you know about me thus far.... You get some hit that we should connect and see what happens.... You are open to finding out what the two of us (together) are all about.... You think we'd probably have a fun time.... You would enjoy a connection that is: playful; fun; nourishing; deeply satisfying; authentic; sexy; passionate; wonderfully intimate; inspiring; adventurous; spontaneous; supportive; honest; mature; has as its foundation our individual 'wholeness'/'fullness' and is not primarily about looking for the other to 'complete' or 'fill' us (in the way conventional societal beliefs about relationship often suggest); truly feels 'right'; and, is a mutual 'YES!' (though may begin as just a 'yes...?').... You know you're pretty awesome, and, you wonder if you and I could merge awesomeness(es) and be *wicked* (an ode to Boston with this) awesome together!
More
The two of us
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Ethics
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Religion