If you agree with these statements, we'll get along pretty well:
-First dates feel like job interviews.
-I've never seen a newborn baby that I would describe as "cute" or "beautiful." Too early to determine.
-Children are fun, but they'll just get in the way of my future plans; like travel, staying out late, and smooth divorce proceedings.
- I don't know where semicolons are supposed to be used.
-You don't hike as much as your profile pictures claim.
-Things happen for a reason. And sometimes that reason is you make stupid decisions.
-No one has ever watched their own smartphone video they take at the concert.
-No one has ever watched the smartphone video you took at the concert that you posted to Facebook.
-Vocal fry: Stop it.