38Phoenix, United States
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My self-summary
Hi, there. I'm looking for someone to do fun things with. If your profile mentions how you're fluent in sarcasm, I rolled my eyes. I have a beard right now to look closer to my age, but haven't taken a picture for my profile. I'm not committed to it.

If you agree with these statements, we'll get along pretty well:

-First dates feel like job interviews.
-I've never seen a newborn baby that I would describe as "cute" or "beautiful." Too early to determine.
-Children are fun, but they'll just get in the way of my future plans; like travel, staying out late, and smooth divorce proceedings.
- I don't know where semicolons are supposed to be used.
-You don't hike as much as your profile pictures claim.
-Things happen for a reason. And sometimes that reason is you make stupid decisions.
-No one has ever watched their own smartphone video they take at the concert.
-No one has ever watched the smartphone video you took at the concert that you posted to Facebook.
-Vocal fry: Stop it.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a good job and own my own home. I'm very happy in my life and enjoy every day. Do you have a bike? I'd like a biking partner.
I’m really good at
Oh, is this the section where I'm supposed to brag? Isn't that what all the other parts of the profile are really for?
The first things people usually notice about me
My height. I'm kind of tall.
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My daily encounter with the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
On a typical Friday night I am
Going to bed at 10pm.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I won't answer the pets option because I'd have to click "Has cats." Plural. I have one cat. More than one would make me weird. So I leave it blank.
You should message me if
You know the difference between "there," "their," and "they're." And if you're not religious.
The two of us