I’ll just run through a couple of quick things that I think are very telling of my character:
Of all my family members (20 aunts and uncles and 16 cousins, my parents and sister) I was the one who was honored in receiving both of my grandfather’s most important earthly possessions after they passed away.
One night I heard screeching rubber on pavement followed by an explosion at the end of the neighborhood. I grabbed my flashlight and ran in the direction of the sound. A car was flipped over amongst some trees. I was the first on the scene. I was horrified what I would find but I investigated closely anyway… When something horrible happens my reaction is always ‘how can I help’?
The one part of my body I am historically least proud of is my nose. My mother prayed to God that if she were to have a child damned with her nose that it would be the boy. Prayer answered. The benefit is I was forced into developing a deep sense of humor. There is no one that crosses my path who doesn’t feel comfortable joking with me. Humor preserves my humility and provides relief from the seriousness in life.
I am the absolute opposite of who I was growing up. My room is clean, I make schedules and plans for everything, I don’t play video games, I always have multiple projects, and I iron. I suffer from the inability to plan social events for myself. Despite being outgoing and socially refined, these unfortunately have been too low on the priority list. Like pictures! I’m not opposed to them at all, I just never remember to take any.
Eating peanut butter cookies.
Movies: I like all movies from Sharknado to 300 to Moulin Rouge to Dirty Harry. Its a Wonderful Life is still one of my fav. And Christmas Vacation can be watched all year.
Shows: House of Cards. Firefly. The League. New Girl. Bar Rescue. Cops.
Music: It all depends on my mood. I prefer rock and even heavy metal. I like country, classic rock and prog rock. I am beginning to enjoy orchestral more and more. Big band music has always been a love of mine ever since listening to my grandfather wail away on the sax in his own stage band. If there is one music genre I wish would come back it would be funk. Funk makes everyone move, it is the essence of soul. If rap would adopt its more funky roots I would be more of a fan. Rap has its place mainly when I am preparing for an athletic event where I need to go kick ass.
Seafood sucks. Everything else is amazing. I know, I alienated half the world's cousine. I grew up on farm fresh corn, steak and potatoes.
Now that the gift buying was over my conscience finally made an appearance. It begged me to find something else. As the date got closer for the party the strength to follow through with my original plan began to falter. I employed the best mechanism in conquering fear: I ignored it. At the last minute I compromised with fear wisely adding a very nice card inscribed with “I’m hoping you have the sense of humor we all know you have.”
Mr. Director didn’t make the Christmas party. I was temporarily saved. My boss, knowing my good nature, hesitantly opened it in his absence. The sudden urge that I would get fired fully overcame me. I blushed a deep read. It was too late. There was shock fueled roaring laughter. Knowing that it went well with my colleagues didn’t give me much comfort when I looked over at the supervisors who just covered their mouths and looked at me. Of course somebody who knew him instantly snapped a picture and texted him his new garment. My supervisor came over to me clearly recognizing the concern on my face and tried assuring me, “I think he’s got a pretty good sense of humor. Don’t worry.” She had the eyes of pity, not too convincing. I ordered a strong drink for myself.
After a few minutes and enough time for me to order another bourbon on the rocks, Mr. Director replied.
“My wife will enjoy it. However, it looks a little small.”
People were rolling on the floor.
Later I found that the ‘gift that was too small’ had been passed around the corporate bigwigs as they pranked each other that Christmas. Thanks to the conscience that urged me to include a nice card, they all now know my name. That was a year ago and I’m still employed. I think it’s safe to say it went over well.
If you want to see Jurassic Park at The Strand Friday night! Just like being 9 again, except maybe with an adult beverage in hand :-D