32Cleveland, United States
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My self-summary
Did the mic drop get your attention? Works 60% of the time, every time.

Born and raised here in Cleveland, on the East side. I moved back a few years ago after spending a couple of years in Scranton, PA. Yes, that is a real place and no, Dunder Mifflin and Schrute Farms are sadly not. I've lived elsewhere too, but plan on staying in Cleveland. There's a figurative bungee chord that always pulls me back.

I graduated with a degree in journalism, so of course I work in logistics. However, I still get to use my training, skills, and voice for fun as an internationally renowned and beloved roller derby announcer/broadcaster (for which I own many more bow-ties). I literally have tens of fans around the world and traveled to far and exotic places like Canada and Texas to vocally entertain the masses. I do enjoy roller skating too, but cannot figure out how to stop. I just slam into the wall like that kid from Mighty Ducks 2.

I shamelessly use horribly cheesy, yet hilarious puns. Was the class clown growing up and still am a big kid at heart. Cory Matthews and Sean Hunter taught me everything that I know about dating and romance.

I'm not one of those guys that feels that it is a requirement for the man to always send the first message, because it's 2017 and I'm a feminist. I'd like to meet someone that can match my sarcasm, wit, and abundance of useless information. Where it leads from there? Who knows. So, if you like what you've read and want to know more, feel free to send me a message!

I have one giant, non-negotiable deal breaker. Please move along if you voted for the Screaming Cheetoh.
What I’m doing with my life
Did my mom put this question on here?
I’m really good at
Doing impressions, especially of the Muppets. I know way too much useless information that I bring up randomly. Sending awkward first emails on here that usually get me ignored. Their loss though, I'm delightful. I can also predict every Daily Double in Jeopardy. Worst mutant ability ever.
The first things people usually notice about me
My glasses. They make me look like a genius or something. Also handy for a dramatic removal now and then.

Other answers would be my collection of sweater-vests and bow ties, or my beard. I hope I'm not a hipster.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: Avengers (and most other superhero movies), Fight Club, Major League, Star Wars (Original Trilogy, VII, and Rogue One), Anchorman, Ghostbusters (the original), Dodgeball

Music: Oasis, Foreigner, and anything 80's.

TV Shows: Big Bang Theory, The Office (with Steve Carrell), Mike & Molly, Parks & Rec, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Dr. Who, Game of Thrones.

Books: A Song of Fire and Ice (Game of Thrones)
Six things I could never do without
In no particular order...
1. Burritos
2. The interwebs
3. Roller derby
4. My cat (Bagels)
5. Game of Thrones
6. Cleveland Indians

If I had a TARDIS, that would be on this list too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The most important questions of the universe, but I have ADD so I get distracted easi... Squirrel!... Hot dog!... Tree!... Bicycle!... Moon.
On a typical Friday night I am
Saving the world or doing nothing. There is no medium.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I'm actually filling this question out.
You should message me if
You have the guts to send the first message. After all, this question is asking you if you have the guts to, so if you do, do it. And if this at least made you giggle, I'm flattered.

Also, if you speak High Valerian, I want to meet you and help you reconquer Westeros.
The two of us