31Venice, United States
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My self-summary
This essay is brought to you by the letter "I". So let's get this party started. I like to stay up late and try to wake up early. I like my coffee like I like my women... dark and bitter. I was born in the South and raised on the coast that doesn't care much about gluten (yay pizza). I'm probably one of the nerdiest people you'll meet (and just stoked about derailing yet poignant parenthetical subtext). I don't mean that in the way 90% of people on this site do, because nerd is the new "cool". (Thanks Apple products, we all know it's one the six things you can't do without) I write a lot of run-on sentences. I'm on a dating site because I don't have the time nor the desire to waste my time and desire (even though online dating has ruined everything).. On occasion, I am hilarious. (You've probably stopped reading by now.) I'm skeptical, yet open to possibility. I read books. I watch and analyze film, television and comedy. Lover of good whiskies and tequilas. There's a late fee if I'm not returned on time. I am also over this section... onward!
What I’m doing with my life
Semi-working actor with a slew of day jobs to afford living next to paradise. If you have a problem with this, I don't care. If you don't have a problem with this, I don't care. Welcome to L.A. - don't be traffic, for my sake.
I’m really good at
Everything.. just kidding, mostly just tripping over stuff. Self-Sabotage. Omelettes. Interpreting. Informing you that you (likely) are not (even remotely) "good" at sarcasm. (It isn't even a skill folks, please take it off your profile immediately, along with your sunglasses.) Pretending I'm listening. Calling it like I see it. Making embarrassing music playlists on Spotify. Misinterpreting. Speaking out of turn. Cooking red sauce and meat balls. Running. Muahahahahaha-ing. Falling asleep on the beach and getting sun burnt and spending the next 48 hours lathering myself in aloe. Pretending I was a dragon in a past life (I'm good at roleplaying). Semi-auto-erotic asphyxiation. Traveling rings at OMB. (Don't worry if you don't know what that means, it's a deep reference and has no bearing on whether or not I'll spork you. If you do get it... well then break out the chalk.) Being big spoon. Defying gravity. Defying in general. Quoting Shakespeare. Being Tarzan's disciple. Giving, I'm a giver.
The first things people usually notice about me
I easily befriend cats. My butt-crack is also usually visible from every angle, it's cubist.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love Poe, Shakespeare, Tolkien, and Martin. Mostly fiction. Life is real enough. I also enjoy a good read of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, aka The Book of Shadows, aka the Grand Grimoire. Shows are many and various, I'm in the biz so I watch a lot, mostly HBO, Showtime, AMC, FX and web. Music is all over depending on my really-real-world status, I'm told I'm eclectic but I always thought that sounded a little.. well whatever. Love Spotify! Food.. I'm a big fan, let's just say I'm a pro with chopsticks, like karate kid good.
Six things I could never do without
Friends and Family. Beach. Passion. My garrison of pirate-ninja-jedi-zombie-robot-presidents (they were elected). That's all really you need.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:

-"If", Rudyard Kipling
On a typical Friday night I am
Working, or.. Hanging out at the comic book shop with the awkward nice guys (don't worry, I make nerd look good). Karaoke (which I am bad at), reading, streaming a good moving picture. If you wanna get weird maybe even catch an improv show. If you have to go to bars three to four nights a week to have a good time, or just as a habit, I am probably not the man for you. In fact, you should probably go to a meeting.. Just kidding, those are for quitters.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel up my own ass.
You should message me if
You probably won't message me, in fact, you probably shouldn't. I'm prone to bouts of realness and lack of game playing (unless it's Cards Against Humanity or MTG). Even if you do message me and we go out, you will be summarily disenchanted in short-order because I will stimulate your brain to a point of complete satisfaction thus rendering my presence obsolete and eliminating the need for a second date. Which as you can imagine, doesn't work very well for me. If you're reading this because I messaged you, then trust that I am in fact, the Muffin Man.
The two of us