vanillaplaygrnd
40 Chesterfield, United States
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vanillaplaygrnd
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My self-summary
Hi peoples! This is a very long profile full of rants and musings and strong opinions with some humor sprinkled in here and there. The first part is about my political opinions. If this bores you then skip to the next section...which is a little about me outside of political opinion. You might be delighted by some of my profile. You might be offended by other parts. But i think if you need to kill some time then you might find it interesting to read. If you just want to know what I'm looking for skip to the end. Quick note: if you're Nikki Glaser you don't have to take time reading this because we're a perfect match. Just contact me.

Well first off...now that trump is elected and the fucking conservative repubs have taken over all power I am working on a two year plan to get my affairs in order so I'll have the option to move to Vancouver, BC or europe or New Zealand or somewhere outside of the u.s. The next two years are critical and that's when I'll make my decision. If conservative values and laws are forced on this country by bills being passed the republican controlled house and Senate and are signed into law by this crazy, unqualified, sexually assaulting, thin skinned, pathological lying, race baiting, insecure, bullying, self-centered, out-of-touch, not very intelligent, four times bankrupt, shitty businessman republican president (who lost the popular vote and is a loser by 2 million votes), and these laws are upheld by the lifetime appointed conservative republican judges that have taken the federal and supreme court vacancies (that rightly should have been filled by Obama nominees that were denied by republicans the last two years) I will probably leave. And don't feel bad if you voted for Trump or a third party candidate or didn't vote at all...at least you didn't vote for the lady who used her personal email server (said with sarcasm). If you feel like moving might be an option for you also talk to me. Maybe we can do it together. If you live outside the u.s. talk to me. Maybe I'd be willing to move to where you are. Or if you're just awesome and can't bring yourself to leave the u.s. then maybe you can convince me to stay and we can live here in mutual misery together.

Are you picking up on a problem that with the Republicans controlling all three branches of government (esp the judicial with lifetime appointments)? There are no checks and balances. No way to stop them from forcing their conservative right wing christian agenda on us...or prevent them from changing voting laws to disenfranchise democratic voters and keep a Republican senate majority for years just as they did by gerrymandering the districts that will keep a Republican majority in the house of Representatives for decades. Goodbye Roe v Wade. Goodbye women, minority, and LGB equality. Goodbye free press. Goodbye to a million other things...btw, Missouri is in just as much trouble with a republican governor, lieutenant governor, secretary of state, veto proof majorities in both the state house and state senate. The only bright shining democratic star for Missouri is u.s. senator Claire McCaskill who has said she won't run again in 2018. I love St. Louis (aka "the 'Lou" aka "the STL" aka "the 314") but I hate Missouri. It breaks my heart to maybe leave but I can't live in a place that is so unreasonably conservative. STL will always be home in my heart.

Anyway, clearly I'm still very unhappy with the election. First, STL lost the Rams (republican was responsible. Thanks Kroenke). Then there was poisined tap water in Michigan (state republicans responsible for that too). Then Brexit (see we're not the only ones fucking our own country and creating havoc around the world) and now this u.s. election (republicans fucking us here too). As John Oliver says "fuck 2016." What an awful year. And since I'm not a cubs fan I won't miss 2016. I'd love to ring in a fresh, promising, new year full of promise with a new lady in my life!

I'm silly, but thoughtful. I like to laugh and try to be an optimist. I like people, but I also can't stand them. I'm reasonably intelligent, science minded, and not at all religious. I'm kind and giving. I work hard, but I'm a procrastinator. I love exercising and good meals. I like nakedness. My sense of humor doesn't involve always cutting down the person I'm with, and I won't tolerate others who do that to me. I'm attracted to women who are confident and make no apologies for their strong sexuality because I make no apologies for mine. I believe most morality is relative. I'm always a work in progress; like right now I'm working on better listening skills and less talking.

Current events that are the most important: absolute separation of church and state, pro-choice, pro-gun control/reasonable gun legislation, pro-vaccination without exemption for religion or anything else except medical exemption, pro-sunblock, universal free basic healthcare for all, and sex+.

I'm from STL but have also lived in several other parts of the country. I went to grad school and decided my field wasn't for me. Post doctorate, I now work for an airline and can fly anywhere in the U.S. for free! Guess what? If I think you're awesome I might fly out to see you! (unless you live in St. Louis. I'll just drive then)
What I’m doing with my life
Traveling for work more than I'd like (paying off grad school loans). I love travel but would prefer do it for fun rather than work. If this doesn't work out maybe I'll just dress up like its Halloween every day of the year and leap tall buildings in a single bound. Maybe you can be my sidekick?
I’m really good at
Being friendly? IDK...Tying my shoes? I'm really good at that....
The first things people usually notice about me
My smile? I'm not sure...its either that or my crazy party trick to recite mathematical Pi to three digits. I can do it right now: 3.14; I know, amazing.

Some people might first notice that I really am 6'2" tall. I've been told a couple of times on dates that I'm the first person they've gone out with that actually looks like his pics. I guess many people post old outdated or misleading pics of themselves, and many guys are not truthful about their height on this site. I don't know why people do that. Surely, their end goal is to meet someone in person, and that person will see that they lied about their height and body type, and posted misleading pics.
Also, some people think I look like Chris Pratt when i have beard stubble...and some think I look like Derek Theler. What do you think?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: Sex at Dawn, The Great Gatsby, The Shining by Stephen King, A Separate Peace by John Knowels, The Notebook, and the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, A Short History of Nearly Everything

MOVIES: Rudy (with Sean Astin), Lean on Me, When Harry Met Sally, romeo and Juliette (leo d version), Hitch, Gladiator, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Bridesmaids, The Borne Identity, the big lebowski, and The Shawshank Redemption

shows: (tv) Big Bang Theory, friends, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Not Safe with Nikki Glaser, the Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon (which is always in a death match with late show for my viewing eyes!), forensic files;
(theater) oklahoma, phantom of the Opera

MUSIC: John Mayer, Jason Mraz, DMB, Colbie Caillet, Pearl Jam, Bush, Green Day, Nirvana, Boyz II Men, Usher, TLC, Babyface, Black Eyed Peas, Pink, Simon and Garfunkel, Chicago Transit Authority, John Denver, The Jackson 5, Katy Perry, and Ingrid Michaelson

FOOD: Taco Bell, Arthur Bryant's BBQ in KC. salad with chicken, strawberries, feta, and balsamic vineagrette. Thanksgiving turkey with dressing, chocolate, cheese, milk, sparkling water with some fruit flavoring, wine, Capt morgan spiced rum and coke, bud light platinum and there are many others.
The six things I could never do without
Air with the right mix of O2, food (including meat; I'm liberal but not a vegetarian, not going to change), clothing, H2O, shelter, good sex...isn't that the same for just about everyone?!? If I could add one more (making it seven) I would say a good support system as in friends and family.
Ok, maybe put the family thing first, but who are we kidding? The sex thing is really more exciting. So that first, then the family thing. .oh wait oxygen is more important. So, oxygen second. The sex thing first, then oxygen, the crap about the family, everything else, and i would like to add at the end: all the children of the world holding hands and singing in perfect harmony.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why are there so many assholes in the world?
What else do I think about a lot? Why would a woman get lip implants? So people think they regularly have fist fights at bars resulting in perpetual fat lippery?
Also, why do people insist on using the term "queer"? I'm LGB and T friendly and I hate the term "queer". Its ugly, unnecessary, and reminds me of when I was growing up and the bullies used to call my friends and me queers while they were kicking our asses. I liken it to the N-word. Let's say instead sex+ or GSD (Gender and Sexual Diversity). So much nicer sounding than queer. So, please don't use the Q-word on your profile if you plan to contact me. Thanks (-:
On a typical Friday night I am
Depends on the Friday night, but sometimes creating a complicated algorithm that will feed all the hungry and lead to world peace all while reducing carbon pollution in the atmosphere...other times I'm working at the airline.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not really able to say, but once I'm famous for it you'll know.
All kidding aside, sometimes the messages I send are unintentionally stupid awful, content wise. I tend to over think and say something long winded and sometimes just stupid in an attempt to try to stand out from the million other guys on here...although my goal is to be funny or clever. Just trust that you'll probably like me in person. Most people do. And then someday we can laugh at my silly attempt to interest you!
You should message me if
You are Nikki Glaser. If you're not Nikki Glaser then maybe at least have a good sense of humor, and you're an athletic, attractive, non-smoker with straight teeth, politically liberal, 4 year college educated, NO profile pics of you with a gun or in a wedding dress (or in a wedding dress with a gun), open to possible non-monogamy or at least a discussion about non-monogamy, fun but responsible woman who is smiling in most of her pics and can talk me out of my tendency to rob banks from time to time. Or you could just drive the get-away car...I'll give details later.
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