47Pittsburgh, United States
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My self-summary
Update September '16
I'm not overtly political. I don't watch the news because it's too depressing (See: people in my life tell me important things that are going on.) but if you've considered voting for Trump, you shouldn't message me. I respect people's rights to differing political beliefs. I found out recently that my sister is republican (I'm not) ... but even she isn't voting for him in this election. Misogyny, racism, intolerance in general, and the blind following of those who support these ideals = the kind of people I don't want or need in my life. And I don't want to argue about it either ... just don't message me if you think burning a flag should be illegal (stupid, yes ... illegal, really?), that racist jokes are okay, that abortion should be illegal, that prayer should be taught in school (organized religion in public school is ... antieverythingwe'resupposedtobeabout,) AND if you think the world is only about 6,000 years old or that the Earth is bigger than the Sun ... we really shouldn't talk.

Bonus points for those who think Ed Snowden rocks :)

Update May '16
There have been an abundance of people the past few weeks who have been messaging me when they have no photo posted and have a blank profile. If you can't take the time to do this, then why are you messaging me/anyone? You're not going to get responses. I make the mistake of being nice and telling them, "hey, you have to post a photo and fill out a profile if you want to get responses," which is often met with aggressiveness, accusations, etc. It's not rocket science ... just do what one is supposed to do on sites like this. If you don't, and I'm not willing to engage because you don't want to follow the basic protocol of how this all works ... just don't message me. :) Thanks!

Update Nov '14: Sorry to have to start with this, but I just need to say this for all women on here, to save everyone a lot of time, and if I state it three sentences into this, many people won't get to it. So ... if you send me a message with one syllable ... or three ... anything like "Hi" or "How are you" and nothing else, I'm not going to respond. I'm smart enough to know you just sent that to 30 different people and that you are just fishing ... which is fine ... no judgment. I'm just not a fish :)

Back to our regularly scheduled program ... that I wrote probably 5-6 years ago and have changed little ... maybe I'll read it over again :) Most is still relevant. So, onward! ...

I am an outgoing woman in a long-term open relationship and am actively participating in both polyamory and bdsm lifestyles. I could say I'm a swinger, too, but I'm pretty bad at it and I tend to be choosier than most people in that lifestyle are ... or maybe I'm just more shy. I look younger than I am (people say) and definitely act so :P However, "looks" in a person is about 10% of what I find attractive about them. Openness, intelligence, humor, and a lack of self centered-ness (and aversion to drama) are what I enjoy in others. I'm exceptionally scientific, borderline geeky (but won't admit it) and like entertaining and sharing fun times with those who are close to me. I have amazing friends, and I think that who your friends are says a lot about you. I am quite blessed, am not overtly religious but feel it's exceptionally important to be a good person, and getting to know people is one of my favorite things in life. Sometimes they actually turn out to be pretty cool ;)

UPDATE: Apparently my openness above has been translated by young men to think that I am "easy" :P Nothing could be further from the truth. If you are just looking for sex, I wish you the best of luck, but it's not gonna happen here. I tend also to live by the "half your age and add 7" rule for the youngest person I would date. So that's about 26 right now. It's just a life experience thing. And I have nieces and nephews in their 20s, so... that might just be ... weird.

Update: You know ... Fetlife has an option for "heteroflexible" ... I hate to be unavailable to incredible women who could be amazing people in my life. Every once in awhile ... (ok, maybe more often) I think "I really think I need a girlfriend..." :P Just sayin...

Update Update: I've decided I need to be a little more specific. I think it's my fault that people don't read into the subtlety of my words below, so I shall try to be succinct:

I have a partner of 20 years and other multi-year relationships (over 4 years invested in each,) so ... if this doesn't make sense to you, take a peek at the "polyamory" entry on wikipedia.

I'm not a dominatrix (the caption on one of my photos confuses some.) Having kink attire isn't the same thing as ascribing to a role in bdsm. If you really want to know, I self define as a "dominant bottom." ... If this makes sense to you, we can probably speak the same language. If it doesn't ... looking it up would be a good idea before asking me questions about it.

I'm becoming jaded to one sentence messages from people. "How are you today," is not really a great way to engage someone. Ask me something specific (or more than one thing) or tell me something about yourself that you think I may find interesting. We're not standing across from each other so small talk isn't really the best way to proceed.

I'm not interested in married men who are interested in cheating on their wives. I'm not interested in people who are going to be "in town on business" and are looking for a hookup. If I were interested in casual sex, I wouldn't be looking for it online ... serial killer potential and all ... so, if those are your hopes, I wish you much luck, but I just can't be that person.

The "girlfriend" message above is probably less than 5% of me. I adore women, but I don't need any man's help in finding one ... but thanks for the offer :)

If you are younger than 30, there needs to be something extraordinarily unusual about you for me to be interested ... in a "wise beyond your years" way. It's flattering to get attention from 20 somethings, but our life experiences are most likely too different for there to be a real connection, and the casual sex thought from someone in their 20s (no matter how nice your abs are ... and I've seen some very nice abs) isn't what interests me ... at least enough to invest more than a fleeting thought in it ;-)

I am brilliant, compassionate, and devilish.
What I’m doing with my life
Hmmmmm... Right now? Sitting at a computer updating a profile ... which seems odd to me :P I'm exploring a variety of friendships and relationships, deciding on a career, and trying to take care of myself as best I can. I'm enjoying participating in some alternative communities in the Pittsburgh area, and getting to know the darker sides of myself and others.
I’m really good at
I LOVE to cook. I'm good at many things :) Oddly, I'm a great problem solver for others. I can be very detached and fair when evaluating problems (math major background) but I can be a fantastic friend when one needs me. I am FIERCELY loyal ... which may not sound logical for a polyamorous swinger, but if you get to know me, you'll understand. I love good-natured teasing of myself and my teasing of friends. I'm really good at reflecting the energy of others ... sometimes too good. I'm a good crafter (my girly side) and a great devil's-advocate. I SO enjoy great conversation while sharing wine with a friend. And, I went to the best massage school in the whole world, so, my massages rock! (please don't ask me for a massage :P )
The first things people usually notice about me
People notice my lips and my smile. I tend to be quite facially expressive, so I've heard "why are you looking at me like I'm nuts?" on more than one occasion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: anything by Chuck Palahniuk, writer of Fight Club and Choke. Sick somewhat demented style. I relate ;) ... and Ursula K. Le Guin... The Left Hand of Darkness... I go through phases of reading and non-reading. I haven't read in awhile for pleasure :( Movies: I confess, I like a good chick flick now and again. I turned on the last 1.5 hours of Gandhi the other day because I knew it'd make me cry. I love good sci fi, Crouching Tiger, and Hero-type films, too. I lived in LA for about 12 years, so I'm kinda a movie snob (sorry). Food: Asian tends to be my favorite, but I enjoy most foods. No raw onions. Other than that, I'm pretty amicable. I like Top Chef a lot.
Six things I could never do without
1) my relationship with my partner
2) bdsm and polyamory
3) my bird
4) intelligent conversation
5) crafting things (for distraction)
6) hope
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm a dweller at heart. I try not to be, but it's an effort. I have too good of a memory, so I tend to mull things over (and over, and over) before taking action. I tend to be pretty philosophical, too, so I think a lot about what I'm supposed to be learning from any given interaction or experience. I figure there HAS to be something good to come out of every experience, even if it's "GEES, I'm not doing THAT again."
On a typical Friday night I am
lord, who knows... could be watching TV, could be out with friends, could be at a dungeon... I don't HAVE to go out to have fun, but I can't stay in too many days consecutively or I get cabin fever. I do love my alone time, and I have no problem chillin' and watching a movie on a Friday night, but not EVERY Friday night. Every couple of months I have to go out and drink and dance, which usually takes place at the swing club, because the attitudes are much more open and friendly than at a regular club ... plus, I'm not 18 and don't want to necessarily hang out with 18 year olds, so, I get a wider range of "maturity" around like-minded people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Ready for this one?

I think God, enlightenment, and membrane theory are all descriptions of the same thing. We try to explain the unexplainable because our experience is limited to our 3-dimensional existence.

I think dreams, ESP, my lover's "powers," and my ability to blow out street lights at a distance (without trying) are all connected.

No, I'm not crazy :P
You should message me if
You are brave and not easily intimidated...
You like intelligent women...
You are open for open relationships/friendships...
You are not crazy or into drama of any sort...
You are open to alternative lifestyles...
(You know what bdsm is, or are at least curious about it)...
You like meeting new, fun, smart, smartassy, opinionated, compassionate, understanding people.
The two of us