There have been an abundance of people the past few weeks who have been messaging me when they have no photo posted and have a blank profile. If you can't take the time to do this, then why are you messaging me/anyone? You're not going to get responses. I make the mistake of being nice and telling them, "hey, you have to post a photo and fill out a profile if you want to get responses," which is often met with aggressiveness, accusations, etc. It's not rocket science ... just do what one is supposed to do on sites like this. If you don't, and I'm not willing to engage because you don't want to follow the basic protocol of how this all works ... just don't message me. :) Thanks!
Update Nov '14: Sorry to have to start with this, but I just need to say this for all women on here, to save everyone a lot of time, and if I state it three sentences into this, many people won't get to it. So ... if you send me a message with one syllable ... or three ... anything like "Hi" or "How are you" and nothing else, I'm not going to respond. I'm smart enough to know you just sent that to 30 different people and that you are just fishing ... which is fine ... no judgment. I'm just not a fish :)
Back to our regularly scheduled program ... that I wrote probably 5-6 years ago and have changed little ... maybe I'll read it over again :) Most is still relevant. So, onward! ...
I am an outgoing woman in a long-term open relationship and am actively participating in both polyamory and bdsm lifestyles. I could say I'm a swinger, too, but I'm pretty bad at it and I tend to be choosier than most people in that lifestyle are ... or maybe I'm just more shy. I look younger than I am (people say) and definitely act so :P However, "looks" in a person is about 10% of what I find attractive about them. Openness, intelligence, humor, and a lack of self centered-ness (and aversion to drama) are what I enjoy in others. I'm exceptionally scientific, borderline geeky (but won't admit it) and like entertaining and sharing fun times with those who are close to me. I have amazing friends, and I think that who your friends are says a lot about you. I am quite blessed, am not overtly religious but feel it's exceptionally important to be a good person, and getting to know people is one of my favorite things in life. Sometimes they actually turn out to be pretty cool ;)
UPDATE: Apparently my openness above has been translated by young men to think that I am "easy" :P Nothing could be further from the truth. If you are just looking for sex, I wish you the best of luck, but it's not gonna happen here. I tend also to live by the "half your age and add 7" rule for the youngest person I would date. So that's about 26 right now. It's just a life experience thing. And I have nieces and nephews in their 20s, so... that might just be ... weird.
Update: You know ... Fetlife has an option for "heteroflexible" ... I hate to be unavailable to incredible women who could be amazing people in my life. Every once in awhile ... (ok, maybe more often) I think "I really think I need a girlfriend..." :P Just sayin...
Update Update: I've decided I need to be a little more specific. I think it's my fault that people don't read into the subtlety of my words below, so I shall try to be succinct:
I have a partner of 20 years and other multi-year relationships (over 4 years invested in each,) so ... if this doesn't make sense to you, take a peek at the "polyamory" entry on wikipedia.
I'm not a dominatrix (the caption on one of my photos confuses some.) Having kink attire isn't the same thing as ascribing to a role in bdsm. If you really want to know, I self define as a "dominant bottom." ... If this makes sense to you, we can probably speak the same language. If it doesn't ... looking it up would be a good idea before asking me questions about it.
I'm becoming jaded to one sentence messages from people. "How are you today," is not really a great way to engage someone. Ask me something specific (or more than one thing) or tell me something about yourself that you think I may find interesting. We're not standing across from each other so small talk isn't really the best way to proceed.
I'm not interested in married men who are interested in cheating on their wives. I'm not interested in people who are going to be "in town on business" and are looking for a hookup. If I were interested in casual sex, I wouldn't be looking for it online ... serial killer potential and all ... so, if those are your hopes, I wish you much luck, but I just can't be that person.
The "girlfriend" message above is probably less than 5% of me. I adore women, but I don't need any man's help in finding one ... but thanks for the offer :)
If you are younger than 30, there needs to be something extraordinarily unusual about you for me to be interested ... in a "wise beyond your years" way. It's flattering to get attention from 20 somethings, but our life experiences are most likely too different for there to be a real connection, and the casual sex thought from someone in their 20s (no matter how nice your abs are ... and I've seen some very nice abs) isn't what interests me ... at least enough to invest more than a fleeting thought in it ;-)
I am brilliant, compassionate, and devilish.
2) bdsm and polyamory
3) my bird
4) intelligent conversation
5) crafting things (for distraction)
I think God, enlightenment, and membrane theory are all descriptions of the same thing. We try to explain the unexplainable because our experience is limited to our 3-dimensional existence.
I think dreams, ESP, my lover's "powers," and my ability to blow out street lights at a distance (without trying) are all connected.
No, I'm not crazy :P
You like intelligent women...
You are open for open relationships/friendships...
You are not crazy or into drama of any sort...
You are open to alternative lifestyles...
(You know what bdsm is, or are at least curious about it)...
You like meeting new, fun, smart, smartassy, opinionated, compassionate, understanding people.