37 Indianapolis, United States
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My self-summary
Hello, I'm Brent and I'm just looking to make a genuine connection.

My sincerity in this endeavor is quite earnest, I swear; however, I have found online dating to be rather ridiculous. As such, I've decided to update my profile to reflect the preposterousness of the situation. Some truths will be mixed in with the silliness and exaggerations, and I'll denote those with bold text and a (since bold doesn't show up on the mobile app, apparently) when appropriate, but don't take anything too seriously. Do feel free to giggle (or more), though.
What I’m doing with my life
☼...standup comedy
...making friends with retired superheroes
...wrestling dragons (and winning!)
...saving the world one watermelon at a time
I’m really good at
☼...caring about others
...climbing mountains backwards and blindfolded
☼Tic-Tac-Toe (I never lose)
...hypnotizing cows, cheetahs, corn snakes, iguanas, lady bugs, & sea bass
...unmelting butter
☼ know ;)
The first things people usually notice about me
...That I do, indeed, exist in this plane of being.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I like books about palindromes
Movies: anything that includes someone cutting tomatoes
Shows: interesting/entertaining ones about muskrats
Music: jams
☼Food: mostly the kind I like (I'm kinda picky)
The six things I could never do without
☼1. Love
2. Hair nets
3. Tropical depressions
4. The letter "q"
5. Dark matter
6. Pork fritters
I spend a lot of time thinking about hermit crabs are pretty social for hermits.
...if spiders would be less menacing if they had belly buttons. Probably not, but it's interesting to ponder.
On a typical Friday night I am
☼...often attending or performing at a comedy show.
...trick-or-treating in my homemade Biggie Smalls costume because A) it's never a bad time to dress up like the Notorious B.I.G., and, ii) who doesn't like free candy?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
☼My (literal and likely Steak n' Shake) milkshake doesn't bring anyone to my non-existent yard (19th floor apartment living) and I'm OK with that.

However, my figurative milkshake brings all the platypuses to the yard, and I'm still on the fence about my feelings on this.
You should message me if
☼ like fun and want to have some with me. love the color yellow as much as I do. (On a scale of 1 to 37, I love yellow about 17.3547.)
☼ know, you like, just think it'd be nice to start a conversation and see where it leads and such...that. You don't have to wait on me, bust a move.
...You were guacamole in a previous life.
☼...I messaged you first, even if only to say, "Nope." I promise to leave you be forever if that's the unfortunate case.