33Lecco, Italy
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My self-summary
Wonderful yet hairy miscreant currently getting a head-start in life by acquiring - twenty years too early - middle-aged spread, a general feeling of unease and disdain, and hair-loss. Just kidding. I'm clean-shaven.

Once described as "strange" by the guy who played Harold in Neighbours, in a pub in Yorkshire in 2007.
I think that sentence sums me up fairly well. If you want to know more about the talents of the man too weird for Harold from neighbours, well, he occasionally wanders into kitchens, rearranges everything, burns coconut milk onto the hobs and leaves - an hour later - oblivious to the mayhem behind him and yet eating the most delicious curry you've never tasted.
He claims to be a writer and yet hasn't had anything published since mid 2005, and even then they comprised a few album and live-music reviews.
English teacher in the beautiful town of Lecco. I spend most of my time trying to avoid getting my pale Scottish skin too sunburnt.

Misuses semi-colons.

Also: OKCupid is telling me that 1.82m is 6'0. It isn't. It's 5'11 and a half and a bit more. Whether I'm six foot or not entirely depends on my shoes.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently an English teacher in Italy. The long term plan is to get a well-paid English-teaching job, in Italy or elsewhere.
I’m really good at
Withering sarcasm and ironic self-depricating/aggrandising humour, being un-nervingly genuine and honest with both insults and compliments, catching mice (my superior weight advantage, borderline autistic determination and reluctance to feel stupid while weilding a broom and a bucket like some kind of roman gladiator - stroke - toilet hygiene attendant more than makes up for my inferior intellect in this particular inter-species battle of attrition), feigning both interest and ignorance, cooking, scrabble, chess, Calvinball and impersonating Mexicans (provided I have access to adequate headwear)
The first things people usually notice about me
The outward, charming friendliness and lop-sided smile, usually replaced with apparent disinterest within twenty minutes or so. It's never personal, I'm just easily distracted. There might be a fly or a painting or an interesting fractal pattern in the leaves of an otherwise inauspicious pot-plant and my brain won't let me continue a conversation until I've made absolutely sure it isn't a threat or valuable or moving when my back is turned or bristling with potential energy. I need someone to click their fingers in front of my eyes and tell me something interesting or, if nothing interesting is forthcoming, removing an item of clothing.

Oh, and I have two tiny, symmetrical scars on either side of my forehead. Some more relgious friends continue to honestly believe that this is the result of my having my horns removed. The actual story is much less sinister.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Anything written by Don Paterson, Carol Ann Duffy, Christopher Brookmyre, Iain Banks or Terry Pratchett. A short list of beloved films would include most things made by Sergio Leone, Quentin Tarantino, Studio Ghibli and the Coen Brothers, El Secreto de sus Ojos, The Big Lebowski, AngelA, Withnail and I, Le Fille sur the Pont and Loaded Weapon 1.

As far as music goes I can commonly be found wiggling my awkward caucasian fingers to The Mars Volta, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Zaz, Massive Attack, Brad Sucks, Metallica, the occasional Beethoven/Verdi/Dvorak thingmy and Bill Withers.

'Papa was a Rolling Stone' is the coolest song ever recorded and I dare anyone to suggest otherwise.
Six things I could never do without
Spinach, cartilage, football, bums, the occasional slap in the face and this here internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
unimportant things. In fact I do little else.
On a typical Friday night I am
Avoiding anywhere busy. Yes, yes, I'm boring, but I'm not a fan of crowded rooms or anywhere too noisy. I think I'm getting old.
You should message me if
you enjoy coffee, wine and conversation, no matter how instant the coffee, how cheap the wine and how irreverent the conversation.
The two of us