35 Waterford, United States
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My self-summary
These self-summaries are so hard. I've been staring at this page for an immense amount of time over the last couple of days. It somehow feels simultaneously limiting and too vast.

My name is Collins. Yep, first name.

I love to read and write. I long to become an author. Well, I have written things, so in a way I am already an author. But I think you know what I mean. Although it has been far too long since I really cracked down on myself and wrote like it was a requirement. I should read more, but when I get into it I tend to just begin absorbing everything that I can get my hands on. But lately I have been devouring most any science fiction and a fair number of comedy series. Or at least catching up. I like to make big sweeps of shows once in a while and take in a large number in rapid succession. Like an entire season of one show over a week. I suppose I don't lack in ideas for plot or theme or setting, and I am relatively comfortable with my narrative tone and style. No, for me the most difficult things are: writing dialog because I tend to have oddly shifting and sometimes quite stilted speech patterns; and translating my odd sense of humor to the page.

If you couldn't tell by my nickname up above: I'm nerdy. But I'm not a basement dweller. I'm actually pretty outgoing most of the time. I love meeting and getting to know new people, but I can be a little awkward at times. But when I say nerdy, I mean it. I geek out in all manner of ways. I'm a gamer of all stripes. I love seeking out the odd corners of the Internet. And I frequent a vast array of the funny and weird hangouts therein. I also let loose with a constant barrage of pop culture references, historical references, puns, portmanteaus, film and television quotes, song lyrics, and much much more!

I like to run and jump and climb trees, but I don't put on makeup when I get up there. And anybody that caught that reference pretty much starts out as aces in my book. I like to bike, and can do so for hours upon hours at a time if the scenery is good, the company is good, or the music is good. Any combination of the three is a tremendous bonus. I hate running, but I do it a few times a week because I think that staying in shape is pretty important. I might need to run to or away from something of great importance someday. Possibilities include:
Large, red, obvious emergency cancellation button that will stop a macguffin device from destroying the city/nation/world/solar system/galaxy/universe/metaverse/creation - TOWARD
Booby trapped doorway explosion - AWAY
Robotic panda - TOWARD or AWAY

Were I ever to become some kind of supervillain-type, it would most definitely be over the extension of my own life. So I figure, hell, I better try and stay in pretty good shape before I start trying to invent a death ray and a thirty-story tall walking tank in order to capture the world's scientists to make them find a way to stop my DNA from losing the ability to telomerize and maybe to build me a cybernetic arm or something else cool.

Though I like to be funny and make people laugh, I know when it is time to get serious. Although sometimes I have a tendency to push it.

I'm three years out of an eight year relationship/five year marriage. It was pretty soul-crushing at first, but it got better. Pretty much one of those generic 'realized we were better off apart,' sort of things. I mention the divorce not because it has permanently scarred me and left me bereft of the ability to make meaningful human contact, but it was one of the major events in my recent life. After it ended, I discovered the whole casual relationship thing that I had missed in my twenties. It was fun, but I am glad that I got over that phase. I'm not rushing to get into another serious, committed, long-term relationship, but I'm not afraid of it, either.

That's certainly the end goal, yeah? Life partner. I see it as kind of like the buddy cop relationship from a buddy cop film, right? They've got your back through thick and thin, be it helping them cope with the death of a loved one or keeping them company while they stand in a long line or in an impromptu shootout in an ethnic restaurant where the staff is compromised solely of thugs from a gang based in the home nation of the ethnic food in question. And they banter with you, and you help each other out all of the time, and you take down a gun smuggling operation together and it never really gets boring because you're an awesome team and keep each other sharp. So its like that buddy cop relationship but with a lot more making out.
What I’m doing with my life
This year I started my career in IT for real. I've worked in the field for a while, but moving from a part-time, University setting has been really interesting. The job sort of fell in my lap, and it has been pretty damn epic so far. Lots of experience in a lot of different areas, a lot more responsibility than the typical entry-level gig, and its less than a mile from my house. Fucking stellar.

Aside from working, I have been settling into the home owner thing. Not long after my divorce, my mom also entered the same boat. I moved back home to help make ends meet so that we don't lose the house. It feels kind of weird to say that I am living with my mom again in my 30s, but technically -technically- she lives with me. So I have been remodeling to both create a separate living space in the basement, and also to just practice those useful homeowner skills like drywalling. Plus the more I know about this stuff, the more valuable I become in the zombie apocalypse.
I’m really good at
Gracefully winning at video games.

Listening to people with an open mind and giving them advice on how to proceed. Or just letting them vent.

Gardening. I really never studied it, but somehow I manage to never kill plants.

Cooking. Again, I never really studied aside from looking some stuff up now and then on the Internet. But somehow when I try, the food just comes out good most of the time. I'm the best at preparing meat dishes, but I'm pretty good with pasta as well.

Making relevant pop culture references.

Launching into long anecdotes that turn around and become punchline-bearing jokes.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve.
The first things people usually notice about me
I reflect light in the visible spectrum?

I'm kind of a joker.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
OK, I am finally getting to this. But only in the broadest of strokes:

Books: Nerdy shit - fantasy, sci-fi, and horror mostly. I do like "literature" from time to time, but if it has no sword fights, dragons, space ships, the terraforming of other worlds, or some horrifying monstrosity... I tend to get a little bored.

Movies: Big Trouble in Little China, As Good as it Gets, LotR, Troma films, and more nerdy shit.

Shows: Nerdy shit - Warehouse 13, Doctor Who (old school fan, but I don't hate on new Whovians {much}), Star Trek TOS, TNG, DS9, and Enterprise (it was awesome, despite what the judgmental may say), Quantum Leap, Fringe, True Blood, Grimm, Twin Peaks, Psych.... holy shit how did I write so much. I tend to just download entire seasons at a time and mainline them.

Music: Pink Floyd, Tool, 'Weird' Al Yankovic, Metallica, MC Lars, MC Chris, Led Zeppelin, NOFX, Type O Negative, System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine, White Zombie, Skrillex, MC Frontalot, Johnny Cash, Tom Waits, CCR, The Eagles, Patsy Cline, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, Miles Davis... its all over the fucking place. I know this. I tend to not care for modern poptastic country. Or a lot of vapid pop music like the post zombie-face Black Eyed Peas. And though I couldn't really think of any hip hop artists or rap artists that I celebrate entire collections of... I do enjoy it. And karaoke the shit out of it. Oh! Eminem is usually pretty damn good.

Craaaaap. Food!

Food: I like food. I will try just about anything. I have a real fondness for spicy food, though I am not a heavyweight when it comes down to it. More of a... medium-high weight. Uh, burgers. Does that count? I love burgers. Um, Vietnamese and Thai food is great. But so is French food! And lasagna.
Oh! Vegetables and nuts and fruit are good.

This is getting patently ridiculous.

I'm stopping now.

Broad strokes my ass.
The six things I could never do without
This one is pretty tough. I can do without most anything.
And I am not going to cheat and start selecting the requisites for carbon-based life. That's weak.

-Human contact
-A diversion
-New experiences
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I want to do when I grow up.
If I want to grow up.
How to fight a robot.
The human condition.
If I have a good idea for a story, or if it is banal trash.
If I am hungry or my stomach is just upset.
Which historical figure would win in a fistfight.
On a typical Friday night I am
Could be doing a great number of things.
Now that I have started the whole 'working for the weekend' life, I try to make 'em count. I try to visit friends that I don't get to see as much as I used to. Out drinking - maybe some karaoke as well. Checking out a new movie or just kicking around grilling and shooting the breeze in someone's yard. Relaxing at home and catching up with some more distant friends online and playing games with them. Camping. Swing dancing when I can find a partner.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Hmmm. Sometimes, I cry when I tell jokes. Not sob, just get watery eyes with tears running down. Its like laugh till you cry, but in reverse?
You should message me if
-You'd like some rules arbitration for a game you and your friends have been arguing about.
-You like having doors opened and chairs pulled out for you, but don't freak out if it doesn't happen 100% of the time.
-You think nerds are hot. And goofy, gentlemanly nerds are even hotter.
-You were heartbroken at the loss of Chaotic Good and Lawful Evil in 4th Ed DnD, and you want to commiserate and cry about it over drinks. During these drinks we will inevitably begin mocking Chaotic Neutral and people that try to play Chaotic Neutral to make ourselves feel better.
-You want to go hiking or biking or.... hang out with a Viking... at the Renaissance Faire
-You like the thought of laughing a whole lot while on an adventure of some sort.
-You have a relatively loose definition of the word adventure.