I kind of defined myself as a traveller, but that feature of my life seemed to disappear as I worked to build a business and raise kids. Call it a mid life crisis or an effort to reclaim that ‘juice’ that makes life worth living – so, I divorced 6 years ago and I’ve been getting back to my roots ever since.
Just back from a 3 month trip to Europe where I walked the Camino de Santiago from the French Pyrenees – about 800 kilometres. Really rewarding form of physical meditation, but don’t confuse me with being on a religious pilgrimage because I’m pretty cynical about all of that. Also got to revisit some old haunts in Paris as well as see new places and riding bikes through Amsterdam while smoking bit joints couldn’t be missed.
I love living in Byron Bay. Probably wouldn’t have said it quite that strongly before, but after travel I am glad to come back to beautiful beaches, abundant live music and a relaxed lifestyle filled with many familiar faces.
Life is pretty great. My biggest worry seems to be how many days between good surf. Staying active and fit has become the main theme in life; seems like good health and mental well being, more than money, will take me thru the next stages of life with the best outcomes.
Say what you will about playing by your own rules, but I just don’t do things like everyone else. For some this makes sense and for others it is an anathema. Variety makes the world go around! Part of matching up with people may be getting these ‘oddities’ out there at the start. So, here goes.... I enjoy a very happy, honest and open relationship with a woman who excites me on so many levels. We see each other a lot although we live separately. We even travelled together for 3 months walking in Spain in June '16– always a strong a test of friendship. Needless to say, we both have killer butts after walking 800k!
So, why do we both have active profiles on dating websites? Because we still enjoy meeting new people feeling the excitement of dating with the possibility of some kind of meaningful intimacy with new people. Do we have a larger sexual appetite? Perhaps... But, it plays out in a way you wouldn’t always expect.
What’s the value in it for you? Maybe friendship, maybe someone to hang out with, something fun without being too consuming? (Maybe great sex... yeah had to add that).
If the surf is up, I’m in the water. I’ve just ordered a new surfboard which should be finished any day now – perhaps this will be my next love affair. ;)
I enjoy playing at various things and my ultimate goal is to stay fit and strong. I just had a birthday at the end of November.
I’m enjoying doing workshops and courses based on understanding myself and others as well as learning to be a better lover. A recent class on called The Art and Science of Female Arousal blew me away because it gave me so much new information on a subject I had thought I knew... just goes to show you that you can teach an old dog new tricks. But as they say, practice, practice, practice.
I also throw a mean frisbee. I enjoy languages - wouldn't mind having a go at speaking French again. Despite being a bit of a nut, I think i'm a pretty good dad.
Any movie with Adrien Brody - he picks such cool movies. Really enjoyed The Descendents with George Clooney and generally like Sci-Fi movies as well as action, but I like any good movie. I thought Breaking Bad, Boston Legal, West Wing and Life were great tv shows. Sadly I get most of my news from the Daily Show and Colbert, but I also really like Q&A and Insight. Treme is great - love the music and idea. Newsroom... why isn't this reality? Men of a Certain Age... I can relate! Orange is the New Black, House of Cards, Mom, True Detective .... yeah I probably watch too much TV.
I usually go to the Blues Festival here in Byron Bay - seen some amazing bands - Santana was the greatest, Paul Simon... well of course, Iggy Pop was an animal, Steve Miller, Michael Franti, Jurasic Five, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Buddy Guy and so much more. Always do the 5 days and love it rain and shine.
Seem to only listen to Spotify now which makes just about anything you can think of immediately available. Currently listening to Chicken Lips, Basement Freaks, All Good Funk Alliance and Fort Knox Five. I like a lot of different music - White Strips, Art Pepper, Coltrane, Buddy Guy, John Lee Hooker, Nirvana, and soooo much more.
I like to dance, but I'm not good at couples dancing (salsa, tango, etc) - too complicated. Favourite dancing is reggae or dub. Prefer what my daughter calls 'hippy dancing' at a country hall or at 5 Rhythms. Try to dance 2 or 3 times a week - great exercise. You'll often find me at the drum circle in Byron enjoying the sunset and beats.
I like most food - Asian as well as burgers. Could live on pasta and pizza. Eat way too much bread out of shear laziness. I can eat meat or vegetarian. Probably tend to salty more than sweet.
My Kindle - always reading something,
Conversation - I seem to have opinions on everything and love to be shocking and irreverent,
Challenge and Adventure - drawn to taking risks and going off try new things. Love to travel on a one way ticket and see what happens,
Movies - yep I love getting lost in a good story and I’m as happy on the wild ride of action as the intellectual journey,
Kissing and Touch - love that feeling of getting out of the mind and into my body through the touch of a woman’s lips and the press of naked skin. Letting the 5 senses take over from the chattering mind and being in the now – that amazing rhythmic connection of permission to let all the barriers fall and just be with someone.
Ever feel like you’re on the cusp of something, but don’t know what it is ... yet? I feel poised and ready for something. Something GREAT would be nice, but just something that drives me a long thoughtlessly feeling challenged and interested would be welcome. I think I’m more into the journey than the destination.
I’m trying to stay open to what comes. Not dwelling too much on the past nor putting on too much structure that limits the future. I feel really physically strong and want to keep that momentum going. Would like to find something physical. Doesn’t have to be work for money stuff.
Thinking how my life is changing for the better. Sold my house, streamlined my life and bought a unit in the industrial estate which feels really good. Looking forward to making it interesting and inspiring place to live. Yeah! This is going to be fun.
And yes, I have to admit I think about sex A LOT.
All joking aside, the book asks some interesting questions. Does the world revolve around loving one person and does that also mean that sex needs to be exclusive to one person?
OkCupid has been fun for me. I take comfort from seeing that everyone is different. Some like adventure while others like security. Some like dogs while others like cats. Some bow to authority while others rebel.
I'm excited by the knowledge that we can be different and still find people that share our beliefs, humour, sense of fairness - just as some may be tall and others short, young while others are old (both in spirit and years). Viva La Difference!
I'm now 55. I’ve done most of the ‘stuff’ you’re supposed to do - I've been married for 20+ years, I have 2 great kids, I’ve run my own business, I’ve travelled the world and the seven seas. I don’t, at this age, see myself wanting to do all that again (well maybe more travel). So it makes sense that I want to live another way. I don’t know that it works in reality, but I am a rebel and won’t let social norms tell me right from wrong.
Just saying this will mean many people won’t want to know anything more about me and that’s just fine. It’s all about weeding out the people who don’t fit what we are trying to find in life. And really, doesn’t that make you chuckle a bit because I don’t really have a clue what I want in life.
Maybe you are breaking out of past social restraints and find life with great sex is just about the best thing on offer. (and yes, great sex is completely possible in monogamous relationships as it can be in non-monogamous relationships).
How do you feel about being intimate and sexual with more than one person? Does it bring pleasure or pain? Is it possible to be ethical, supportive, true to yourself, and your friends, and still embrace the joyous pursuit of sexual adventure and intimacy with multiple partners? Or, does the very nature of an open lifestyle mean you are not able to be intimate? Do multiple relationships mean you are actually closed to deeper connections? I'd like to think one can be open to all that comes without that causing a backlash of closing down, but I don't have much experience.
Maybe it is something interesting to discuss? What do you think?
And yes, I still like to go barefoot everywhere. :)
I love nothing better than being spontaneous! If you'd like to meet for a coffee and have a chat about the nature of life, or whatever... send me a message.