When I'm not in the middle of the ocean I like to play basketball badly, travel the globe seeking out new and strange foods that I can't say no to, get drunk and float down rivers on inner tubes, Work on restoring a 26ft wooden boat that my pops conned me into being half owner of, and restore/remodel a 100 year old church that I conned myself into being complete owner of.
big or small it's what I do
When called upon I can do an almost spot on Peewee Herman dance on a bar top
Making sweeping generalizations that are offensive, amusing and sometimes disturbingly true e.g. girls who wear sunglasses with white frames are bitches. Never trust a man with a beard and no mustache. Changing the music from jazz to blues always improves the situation. Guys who drive; old jeeps=cool, new jeeps=asshole. anyone who plays the mandolin is just like a man with a beard and no mustache, not to be trusted! Girls rocking door knocker earrings = delicious.
Explaining the genius of the internal combustion engine to English and Philosophy majors.
Having the handwriting a of drunk chicken in third grade.
Welling up with tears at all super cheesy the Hallmark moments in movies.
Stitching up gaping wounds in the middle of the ocean. Ok honestly, I'm only proficient at this, but when the chief mate is so nervous and can't keep his hands steady, I become a really great option.
I'm an ectomorph
I gesticulate wildly
I don't have much of a filter
If I haven't offended I'll have you in stitches
an inane amount of trivia is stored in my noggin
oh shit I can't find my car keys again
Movies: Dr. Strange Love, Blade Runner, Death to Smoochey, Better off Dead, Ben-Hur, Raising Arizona, Once Upon a Time In The West, The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Cold Comfort Farm, Auntie Mame, Repo Man, anything involving zombies
Music: Lately weird glitchy synthy crap that evokes old 80's video games.
Food: Pescado tacos, Mangoes, Bacon,ginger beer, gazpacho, Newcastle, and Rhubarb.
Oregon in August
bottles of hot sauce with pictures of dudes with sombreros on the label.
the latest issue of the Economist and Make.
Monetary policy, global finance, and other things I only have tenuous grasp on, as my education lies within the field of macro machines not macro economics.
Codifying my own personal politics in a more objective logical manner. I lean towards being a libertarian but have extreme reservations about the infallibility of Adam Smith, and Milton Friedman. I also realize that I have human frailties unlike Howard Roark , John Galt or any other of Ayn Rand's Uberman characters who go through life so stoic and inflexible. Does that make me a liberaltarian, whatever the hell that means?
Or should i just say that I believe in science?
If the back yard chickens that are so en vogue with the hippy set will ultimately be earths salvation? No not, because of any kind of carbon footprint reduction but instead being the root cause of an outbreak of an especially virulent form of avian flue that knocks off 30% of the global population which leads to the halting of global warming.
Silly and capricious new years resolutions.
past years: eat more mango, wear more argyle, embrace rhubarb,
This years, spread the gospel of seersucker
Everyone else, can have as much organic locally grown quinoa as they want, I'll be eating mutant corn chips. eventually I'll have the last laugh, as I sit in a lounge chair eating a delicious pine-ango throwing tennis balls into my pool, for my mini hippo Mort to fetch.
Ive realized David Sedaris is the Garrison Keillor of the gays. Unobjectionably mildly amusing, and tedious to the point of nausea.
I hate your Subaru.