Please cheer me up.... my mom hates me.... .... it's been a terrible night. (Please be patient on a response, my box is hella full.) Pun semi-intended.
Every man is not created equal and the dating journey allows us to fine-tune our list of wants and needs, thereby giving each of us a customized list of dealbreakers. I'm a huge breaker of the deals... and have small and odd reasons for doing so. And while each woman has her own completely legitimate (no matter how quirky!) set of criteria – can’t pee all over the floor, must love old skool rap, should have a good relationship with his family, loves to fish, is charming, prefers beer to wine, and so on, there are certain conditions beyond honesty, respect and good communication (the trifecta of any relationship foundation) that every woman no matter what their taste in men is, deserves to have in her life’s co-pilot. Here’s a checklist for what you should get from your man: 1. Patience, generosity and consideration. These are the triplets of kindness, each one of equal importance and none much good without the others. Patience comes through in a man who can deal with tension calmly and productively, looking at life’s challenges as opportunities to teach and to learn. Generosity of mind, spirit, heart, wealth, time – anything you want to share (even dessert!) – your guy must want to share equally with you. And finally, your man should be considerate of your feelings, your time and your goals. He should be considerate how his decisions impact you. 2. A safe place to be 100% YOU. In a healthy relationship, you should feel safe, liberated and loved enough to be who you are – all the dimensions of your being – all the time… figuratively naked. So if that means you are a buttoned-up badass by day but by night someone who dances around singing into a hairbrush, so be it, a forever guy will not only allow it, he will love it. 3. Utter adoration. Inside and out.
- I have a pug/yorkie/ewok/mongrel named Pork Chop, she's my best friend, and if you think she's sleeping in a dog bed at night, you're crazy. She sleeps in my bed... sometimes hogging 2/3's of it, but that's how we roll.
- I climbed the summit of St. Helens a couple years ago and came to the conclusion that climbing huge boulderous volcanos is NOT tight-butthole 👌. I summited Fuji as well, but that was years ago, and I'd most definitely, probably never do that again either.
-Finding little ways to remind you how special you are to me... Hearts in the mirror while you're in the shower, in the dirt on the rear window of your car, with my carrot and celery sticks... notes hidden in random places, mix tapes... etc., <3
-Not being clingy
My #1 fave is the B-1 Lancer, #2 is the A-10 Warthog, and #3 is the C-17 Globemaster. (Have you ever seen one dispense chaff and flare?? Sexy!)
FYI., I didn't watch it, but I know who the beezy is.
...that I'm a ginger. Ask about "the carpet matching the drapes", see how well that works for ya.
Anything NatGeo, Discovery, or History channel, Breaking Bad. <3
I don't like top 40, I like rap from the 90's,
( the filthier, the better)...I saw Brotha Lynch Hung last Wednesday, HEAVEN! I have a sweet spot for country, but not all the time. I'm a chick, I like Britney Spears and Gaga.
I love food, period. I eat a lot, and a lot of just about anything. I'm still kinda squeamish about sushi, but I can fully handle the standards such as salmon and tuna. Nothing that's still moving or has tentacles. I love spicy, and love fresh veggies... I love good coffee and cheap beer.
-Pork Chop. If you don't like small dogs (16 lbs of amazingness), I'm afraid we aren't going to work out.
-Fashion mags/blogs. Yes, really.
-Food, pizza more specifically.
-Water, I drink the shit out of it...
How much longer I can put off getting a cat.
Imagining what hell is like. Like, I imagine you have to watch every movie sex scene with your parents.
Traveling, (I've been to 34 countries on 5 continents...) and when the hell am I going to get my happy ass to the following (but not limited to) places???
Oh yeah, I'm not allowed into Canada, so don't ever try to surprise me with a romantic getaway to Vancouver for the weekend.
The Great Pyramid of Giza
The Great wall of China
The Leaning Tower
Statue of Zeus
Your Affliction shirts, tribal tats (unless you're actually in a tribe), white sunglasses, white watches, white hats, and puka shell necklaces are DEAL BREAKERS. Sorry, go Tap-Out somewhere else, brah.
I'm a Seahawks fan. 💚💙
Mankind is my favorite wrestler.
Also, please don't live with your parents.
• A HJ on the Great Wheel
. Baking cookies together.
. Getting up extra early to watch the sunrise and making breakfast together
. Watching little league games
. Turning off the phones for the night to watch an entire season of our favorite TV show
. Going for a long drive
. Sneaking a flask into a Planetarium (or anywhere actually, haha)
. Holding hands through an Art gallery (with flasks)
. Play board games in our pj's
. A friendly dance off in the living room
. Don our finest plaid pants and whack balls at the driving range
. Weather permitting, Build a snowman
. Have a carpet picnic
. Fill our pockets full of tokens and tear up an arcade
. Allow yourself to be a kid again in a haunted house (be prepared for lots of ass grabbing)
. Wear matching jerseys and head to a game, go Hawks/M's/Sounder's/49ers!! (Yes, you read that correctly)
. Visit a psychic, why not?
. Grab a pint at an Irish pub
. TP the neighborhood.
Message me about sex too soon and I'll just block you. This is your only warning.
I actually have a million more, but you get the idea. ; )
PS. Dave Matthews is gay.