45Washington, United States
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My self-summary
I am a man who occasionally tilts at windmills, howls at the moon, and tries to catch lightning in a bottle all because I prefer to stubbornly embrace the triumph of optimism over reality’s harsh facts.

I am looking for:
- a dance partner (80% metaphor, 10% literal, 10% something else)
- a woman with an appropriate level of snarkasm (the evolutionary cross of snark and sarcasm)
- a woman who wants to be Tammi Terrell to my Marvin Gaye so we can do a karaoke duet of "You're All I Need to Get By"
- a woman who thinks that reading the Sunday papers is an excellent form of communication
- a woman who is more attracted by intellect and conversation than the genetic accident of good looks
- an adventurous eater who understands that chain restaurants are only for the most extreme of culinary emergencies
- a woman who inspires"kissing emergencies*" even if we are occasionally too adult to act on them.

I tend to fall for the fastest minds and slowest kissers.

Disclaimer: You should know that I changed my height to 5-11. Since every man on this site apparently inflates his height by at least two inches, I grew tired of being presumed to be 5-7 when I listed myself accurately at 5-9.

Disclaimer #2: If you are the type of woman who is NOT enamored with words, who thinks that long profiles are a waste of energy, this is your invitation to stop reading this one. I am not a universal fit, nor do I wish to be. If I were a prescription drug my warning label might include: contraindicated for those with short attention spans, and those lacking any poetry in their soul.

Disclaimer #3: I am not suggesting that people with short attention spans and/or lacking poetry in the soul are bad people... just not a good fit for me.

Disclaimer #4: to clarify about the different looks in my pictures, I shave my head during the hot weather months, and grow it back when the leaves start to change colors. When head is shaved, I grow the goatee (bald and no facial hair looks too cancer-patient-ish,) and ditch the facial hair when I grow hair on my head.

* I have already trademarked that phrase but you should feel free to use it with proper attribution of course.
What I’m doing with my life
I am a personal chef, sommelier, and restaurant consultant. I own my own company and my work is both avocation and vocation. When not working, I spend as much time as possible staying active and in-touch with the people I love, play the occasional game of billiards, guest host a trivia night (I used to be the regular host but that was too much time,) watch sports, enjoy the arts (music, plays, dance, etc.,) and whatever other fun things I can squeeze into a week.
I’m really good at
Making duck confit, waxing poetic, knowing when to stop, making classic cocktails, explaining the "opportunity cost" philosophy of life, pontificating about myriad subjects, giving good email.
The first things people usually notice about me
my attire, I am usually a bit more dressy than most people in a room... and I make no apologies for it... Or I am still wearing a chef coat because I didn't have time to change before meeting friends for drinks.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors: Shakespeare, Pearl Cleage, Yousef Kommenyaka, John Feinstein

Music: everyone says they like all kinds of music which makes that question so overly broad as to no longer be relevant. Better question: in what kind(s) of music do you invest your money and time? Jazz, Motown, Old R&B, Sinatra, starting to get into classical.

Movies that I have seen at least 7 times and would watch again tonight: Thomas Crown Affair (incidentally the first four songs on that soundtrack might be the sexiest four songs in a row, like ever,) Gross Point Blank, Imagine Me and You, Lion King, Love Jones, Casablanca, Good Will Hunting, and Casino Royale (the only decent Bond movie in the last 20 years,) A League of Their Own, Bull Durham*.

Food: Once Duke Ellington was asked what other kinds of music he liked besides jazz. He gave his questioner a quizzical look and then explained that there are only two kinds of music: good music and bad music. I think the same can be said of food; I like the good kind.

Other Things of Importance to Me: This American Life, The Story, Rachel Maddow's Show & Blog, The New Yorker, Cook's Illustrated, Savage Love, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Ezra Klein's Blog, Chris Hayes' column at The Nation.

* I do have my own version of the Crash Davis soliloquy, and if you're the kind of woman who would channel Annie Savoy and breathlessly exclaim "Oh my" at the thought of hearing a soliloquy, then please stop reading and send me a message right now.
Six things I could never do without
Wine, Food, Jazz, the morning Paper, pen and paper, french press coffee, NPR
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Menu planning, ways to grow my business without sacrificing my brand or my soul.

whatever was in the newspaper - I read the Washington Post almost cover to cover every day and the NY Times on Sundays and Wednesdays.

My parents who are both experiencing varying degrees of health problems.

Listening, and how to be a better listener no matter who is speaking... like actually listening and not just waiting for an opening in the conversation to reply.
On a typical Friday night I am
Almost always cooking for a client, or prepping for the Saturday night client. On the rare occasion that I am not doing either of the aforementioned, I might be:
Having dinner at the bar of one of my favorite restaurants, or
Trying a new bar or two with some friends or by myself, or
Making dinner for friends, or
Home trying to avoid the Friday night party crowd... I much prefer my Sunday & Monday time off.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a general disdain for online dating, but a low-grade addiction to this place.

As much as I may protest when I realize I have been there for too long, sometimes I kinda dig the view from my high-horse.

When I read "Fresh Air" in the six things section of a woman's profile, my first thought is almost always "I love Terry Gross too!" And then I realize that she's probably not making the same reference.

This is not private (nor particularly important absent greater context) but I am divorced. It has been finalized for more than a decade. This section just seemed like the best place to put that nugget of information.

Even though I rarely want dessert after a meal, I kinda like a woman who does... or if she prefers a cheese board after dinner that rawks too but in a different way. Not for nothing, but it is more important to me to be able to "eat well" with a woman than travel well with her.

Should there ever be a reason to tell the story of how we met, I will always say that we met at [insert the name of the bar/coffee shop/restaurant where we will actually meet for the first time.]

I have dealt with intermittent insomnia since grad school.

On a whim, I purchased the A-list for one month. I thought I would cancel it at the end of the month... about five minutes without it, and I ponied up again.

Any woman who enters a relationship with me should know that I would leave you for Ana Marie Cox... and if you're thinking that she must be related to Courtney, please block me from future searches.

Nia Long, Salma Hayek, Katy Kay, and Amy my favorite bartender might also be on that list.
You should message me if
In my early 20s, inspired by some movie I cannot remember, I wrote a list of all the things I needed in a woman. It was two pages of the insipid, self-important drivel one expects of a 22yo. When I was 30, inspired by finding the first list while unpacking in my new place, I wrote another list. It was one page, more mature, and far more substantive. Just past 40, inspired by a question from a friend, I realized my list is now three bullet points on a post-it note with room to spare: brilliant conversationalist, scintillating mind, toe-curling kisser.

Just in case those three bullets points seem too spare, here are some "nice to haves"

You are an urban dwelling, erudite, woman who is a grown-up seeking the same.

You understand that every silence is not a void waiting to be filled.

You identify as a feminist. Really sad fun fact: of the hundreds of thousands of women within 500 miles of DC who are within my 20 year age range, and active within the last week, there are only 12 women who use the word feminist in their profile... and two of them use it in a derisive context.

You avoid ending sentences with prepositions but you're not a jerk about it.

You know who Lois Lipstick Long was. (and if you channel her in anyway, you're halfway to a yes with me no matter the question.)

You're GGG, because I am too (or at least I aspire to be,) and at some point that becomes relevant.

You occasionally experience sensations of urgent frivolity.

If you seriously thought/think Sarah Palin was qualified to be VP, or list Ayn Rand as one of your favorite authors, please just block me from all future searches - we have nothing to discuss. For the record, I have attempted being James Carville to a couple of Mary Matalins in the past. Though spirited debate can be the foundation of some things, talking-point spouting conservatives need not contact me.

If you are a misguided grammarian who misteaks poor copy editing and spelling for a lack of facility with the English language, we might have very little to discuss.

If you got the irony in the last sentence and thought it a little amusing, you should certainly message me... especially if you appreciate that I just correctly used the oft abused term irony.

Even if we aren't a good match, you should message me if you are in need of a personal chef for an event, or you're in the PR world and want to represent me... I recently fired my last PR person.

If you mention "work hard, play harder" or any other clichés in your profile, just know I'm kinda allergic to them.

My wish to you, good match or not:
May your time here be as brief as you wish, your dates look better than their pictures, and your inbox relatively ick-free.

and p.s. there is a difference between pictures taken from flattering angles and those that are deceptive. If yours are primarily the latter, I doubt that you're sufficiently self-aware for us to be a good match.

p.p.s. While many men on this site might not care about such trivialities, this particular gentleman is about as fond of the one-line and/or generic message as you are. I will probably ignore them and not feel even a little bit guilty about the rudeness of doing so.
The two of us