xCleverUsername
27 Denver, United States
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xCleverUsername
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My self-summary
Hey, I'm Justin.

I always have terrible profile pictures for things like this. I love doing new things, going on adventures, getting lost or finding new food. But I hate taking pictures while doing it. It takes away from the moment, changes the memory. Which means all of my photos are either of food, my dog, or a combination therein. So I'm working on the shirtless gym photos, but so far they seem to not like topless strangers walking into their gym.

Alright, so a little about myself. I'm a chef by trade, but I don't really cook professionally anymore. I'm currently a teacher at a university in Denver and a freelance writer and photographer for a couple local publications. I just recently left a company where I opened restaurants and am currently trying to start my own company, whatever that means.

I like talking to random people about random things; from physics, to food, to why nobody likes mimes (it's because their evil). I'm awkwardly antisocial but oddly charismatic and too sarcastic for my own good. I like long walks on the beach and weird sex fetishes (I'm just kidding, I hate the beach). I love to travel and would love to have someone to travel with. I also have an American Eskimo named Loki. He's awesome.

To be honest, I tend to be fairly picky when it comes to dating. I'm often busy and so if I'm going to devote time and energy to someone, I want that someone to be worth investing in. I find smart and nerdy extremely sexy. It's very important to me that you be able to hold your own in an intelligible conversation and have enough wit and charisma to make fun of me when I can't.
What I’m doing with my life
I've always wanted to eat the "worlds biggest something". That's what I'm doing. I hope it's a taco.
I’m really good at
Wearing pants. Seriously, I'm very good at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am not a large black man.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
An incomplete list...
Books: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Lolita, Notes from the Underground, One Hundred Years of Solitude, If You Meet the Buddha on the Road Kill Him, Enders Game, etc.
Movies: Most Mel Brooks Movies, Eurotrip, Fight Club, Sherlock Homes, The Avengers, Boondock Saints, Dr. Horrible's, Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil, and everything else on netlix.
Shows: Community, Arrested Development, Archer, Doctor Who, Venture Bros, Futurama, House, Flight of the Concords, damn you netflix...
Music: Pretty much everything. Bad Religion, Arctic Monkies, Dropkick Murphy's, Childish Gambino, and a bunch more.
Food: Everything. This one is important to me. If you don't like food, I don't like you. Though I'm particularly fond of sushi and thai.
The six things I could never do without
1. Making lists
B. My ability to make lists
7. My ability to count
4. My tenacity and ability to finish anything I sta
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If instead of talking to your plants, you yelled a them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
On a typical Friday night I am
Stealing penguins from the zoo. They're like little people in tuxedos.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I spent far too long trying to think of clever and witty things to answer these questions with in the hopes that the inevitable four people who actually read them will think that my sarcasm and wit make up for my egotism and mediocre looks (I'm just kidding, I'm gorgeous and not narcissistic).
You should message me if
You're different. Normal is boring. I'd like to know what you are passionate or ambitious about, no matter how innocuous it may be. Passions and drives make people interesting. Very few people in this world are interesting, I'd like to meet the few that are.

.... Or if you own a monkey. I've always wanted to meet a monkey.
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