55Phoenix, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Just to get some critical issues out of the way immediately, yes, I like holding hands and adore rainbows and bunnies and walks on the beach. Does anyone write "I'm looking for a lying, conniving, psychotic mental patient?"

I'm not going to talk about what I'm looking for in you. I don't have a checklist and you're unique, aren't you? So even if I had a check list, you wouldn't fit it. I'll write about me and if you want to tell me about yourself afterwards isn't that why we're all on OKC? Actually, I just came for the potato salad and can't believe so many women are here!

For all of you who swear that a sense of humor is the most important attribute you look for in a man, I'm your boy/man. I was a professional comedy writer in Hollywood and have written for everyone from Jay Leno to Jerry Seinfeld and guarantee you I am the funniest man on this entire site. Shouldn't you be e-mailing me right now? If I'm not as funny as I say I'll send you a free pony for your trouble.

You've been a little blue lately. You dumped somebody or somebody dumped you. You're trying to cope, but lately you've been ordering your eggs sunnyside down.

Please understand it's not all fun and games with me. I can be serious, too. That occurs when I'm not being funny.

I was a syndicated newspaper columnist and had over 400 articles published in newspapers and magazines. I've been written about in USA Today and the Los Angeles Times; profiled on "Good Morning America" and interviewed on NPR. I've received 6 Emmy nominations for television writing.

Doesn't this sound like I'm interviewing for a job AND bragging and being completely arrogant, too? I KNOW! It sounds that way to me also, but it's all true and I'm really not arrogant at all...I promise! Writing comedy and working with the best comedians was what I'd wanted to do since childhood. My dream came true - I worked with some of the funniest men and women ever and got paid for it - what could be better? I pinched myself so often I raised welts.

I live in a house full of antiques. It's like "Hoarders" but with much better stuff that's really nicely organized.

Wow, I sound incredibly interesting! Can you believe you have a chance to date me? And how lucky am I that you're available? You're a miracle!

I'm entertaining, loyal, extremely intelligent, generally sweet, love children, obey all major traffic laws, am very curious about the world and am wildly enthusiastic in the bedroom - yodeling, anyone? And I know this will forever label me a traitor to my gender, but I actually listen when a woman talks to me. Sure, I'll be staring at your chest when I do it, but is that so wrong?

Aren't you everything I've always wanted? I can't believe we've found each other. I swear I've never been so happy!
What I’m doing with my life
Writing, writing, writing!
I’m really good at
Making you laugh!
The first things people usually notice about me
I have amazing posture.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite music - I have 77,000 songs on Itunes so I have a LOT of favorites

Movies - The original "Sleuth" with Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine - pretty much anything with DeNiro, Pacino or Walken and prettty much nothing with Gwyneth Paltrow or Cameron Diaz

Favorite TV - This Is Us, The Americans, Silicon Valley, Game Of Thrones

Favorite food - Green corn tamales and I can live on sushi and fruit - fresh figs, persimmons and raspberries, please!
Six things I could never do without
Six of the Seven Dwarfs - I'm not that crazy about Doc
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Celine Dion's appalling version of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" on You Tube. It makes my ears bleed.
On a typical Friday night I am
Being atypical.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am so confident of my sexual ability that I call my bedroom The Big Top
You should message me if
You're adorable inside and out

You pay no attention to the Personality graph - mine is completely wrong plus it keeps changing and entire categories disappear and new ones pop up!

Please don't message me if the headline on your profile is "Live Love Laugh" or "Looking For My Last First Date" UNLESS you can think of something more original. Really, you haven't noticed that over seventeen million other women have worn those two out?
The two of us