28Great Malvern, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I'm about to defy the popular belief that it's "impossible to sum yourself up in one of these things."

The "you should message me if" section is the most important. Read that if nothing else.

My name is Jenny.

I'm kind of awkward socially. It's cute, I promise.

I'm not religious. I don't believe in absolute morality. I have morals, but they are born of such things as empathy and a desire for social cohesion. I love beautiful scenery and buildings, especially in spring and summer. On the right day, English countryside is unsurpassable in its beauty. I like to lie in the grass and feel the ants walking over my stomach and legs. They accept me as part of the landscape.

I want to have sex all the time. Call me!

Don't call me really. You fat, unsavoury bastard.
What I’m doing with my life
I live in a small terrace by a railway line. I like to listen to the trains. I like to go to the gym and pump iron and eat incredibly dense protein cookies.

I work for a company in the engineering sector. Supposedly my job is to manage workloads and improve KPIs, but I mainly spend my time extorting snacks from browbeaten colleagues and making up alternative lyrics for well known pop songs. Which isn't annoying at all.

My most harrowing job was probably a few years back when I worked for a very elderly lady artist. She was rheumatoid, bedridden and mostly blind. I basically just typed stuff up, tried to decipher her baffling notes, researched boring dead people, and sorted through endless cardboard boxes of junk. Sometimes I got hungry and had to eat the crumbs I could scrape out from between the floorboards. It reminded me of my years as a Russian peasant in Turkmenistan, so I spent much of my time weeping, overwhelmed by horrific and vivid flashbacks. This made it difficult to get much work done, and the lady artist was not frugal with her beating-stick. "Akylsyz topbak!" she'd scream at me. "Bikar gacgak!" Every curse from that twisted Slavic mouth made part of my soul shrivel and die. There's not much left now.
I’m really good at
Comparing, concealing, avoiding, repressing, over-thinking, objectifying, repelling, rationalising, pretending, worrying, yearning, making origami lilies out of paper napkins.

I'm agile, like a goat.

So, yeah, loads of cool stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
My moronic attempts at small talk / flirtation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: Anything well written and emotionally engaging which will take me on a magical adventure. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin, Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin, things of that sort. I love to read about cosmology, but don't understand much.

FILMS: The same as books, with some sci fi thrown in. The Lord of the Rings, Mononoke-hime, The Matrix, etc. I also enjoy a horror film, of the supernatural rather than blood and gore persuasion.

TV: My top three, in order, are The Tribe, Buffy and Lost. The only current TV programme I'm really into is The Walking Dead.

MUSIC: I like folk, because the melodies are pretty and the words are bittersweet. And old school soul and R&B. I think that a lot of liturgical music is absolutely beautiful.

FOOD: My favourite foods are carbohydrates, dairy and saturated fat. Unfortunately for half the year all I can eat is chicken breast, green beans and protein cookies.

GAMES: Because games are important too. My favourite games tend to be minimalistic and beautiful. Journey, Ico, Pokémon, Zelda (Oracle of Time and Ages), Abe's Oddysee, Limbo, The Fall, SOMA, Portal. But not Portal 2. I strongly believe that anybody who thinks Portal 2 is as good as Portal has completely missed the art and subtlety of Portal.
Six things I could never do without
When I was younger, there was a small section of uneven plaster on the wall next to my bed. It looked as if a tiny, bespectacled, long-nosed creature peered out into my room from its cosy niche. I called it Goggly. At night, Goggly would watch over me and whisper comforts in my ear. When faced with a moral dilemma, I'd ask myself, "What would Goggly do?" I knew that Goggly would never send me awry. One day I came home from school to find that my grandmother had replastered my entire room. Goggly, and Goggly's niche, were lost under smooth, cold gypsum. It was the worst day of my life.

Goggly is the single thing I cannot do without, but do without I must. My descent into madness has been slow, but I think people are definitely starting to notice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How... pointless... everything... is. How promisingly the word 'chthonian' begins, with all those unlikely consonants bundled together... and how disappointingly it ends; '-onian'. What an anticlimax. In that first infinitesimal moment, you're all, "Could this be the best word ever...?" and then no. It has tricked you.
On a typical Friday night I am
Floating through outer space, searching for the Meaning of Life. I've a hunch it's to be found somewhere around TN J0924-2201, but I can't honestly be sure. I fear this is a doomed mission.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Solipsism has been preying on my mind since early childhood, like some sort of horrible soul-consuming fungus.

I've got no tits, but my bum's ok.

I'm kind of a brat. I do try to behave, but you'll probably need to keep me in line occasionally. If you reward me when I'm good, and discipline me when I'm not, I can really become quite obedient.
You should message me if
You're dominant, alpha, tall, built, hot, smart, mature, confident, funny, rich, ambitious, chivalrous... I got daddy issues, yo.

DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF you are nervous, moody, mawkish, conservative, easily offended, unenthusiastic, lazy, messy, unwilling to lead, 'goofy' (whatever the fuck that means, but I'm seeing it far too often in people's profiles), wear jogging bottoms for any event other than a work out, have shortened your name such that it ends with a 'y'. I'm serious.

I hate it when men just start talking about sex right away, like desperate, horny teenage boys.

You should also read some of my match questions first.
The two of us