kurward_derby
60 Chicago, United States
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kurward_derby
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My self-summary
“Right this way, sir.”
“If I could write that way, I'd be lunching at the Algonquin.”

I am a senior software engineer at the University of Chicago, specializing in mobile and personal devices.

At a singles event, the icebreaker was to hand around sheets for you to tell what you were doing in this or that year. I wrote:

2010
Thanksgiving at TGI Fridays.
In Kyoto.

===

I am not simple. I have religious, political, and social views that labels of sect, party, and tendency don’t capture. I think people shouldn’t try to be simple that way. They should be open, or at least kind, to others who don’t fit the labels.

Labels are good: One label distinguishes people who are Episcopalians from people who aren’t. That’s important if you’re assembling a discussion group on the Book of Common Prayer.

The problem is when they are used to classify “one of us” (we affirm each other as good people) from “one of _those_” (they’re not like us, so they’re low-class, probably stupid, maybe immoral). This has gotten to the point where minor differences and disagreements on values (reasonable values, if we’d only listen) make us want to drive people away from our schools and work, never mind our friendships.

There are a lot of questions here about evolution. I’m on one side of the fence, but I don’t pass all the litmus tests even on that. Is that supposed to be a problem?

It’s not about the origin of species through the operation of natural selection. It’s about “are you one of _them?_” Why can’t we recognize that the subject doesn’t come up much in romance? Can’t we accept that this is just one factor? And that that question doesn’t even net the information it claims to, because people aren’t simple?

I am not simple. You get to disagree with me, even on things we think are important. I want a woman, not a liberal/conservative/libertarian/[a]theist Stepford wife.

It’s gotten to the point where what I’ve just said has driven some readers away. That, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Write if you're still with me.
What I’m doing with my life
I am a geek. I write. I mentor. I design. I try to help people not feel dumb. That’s my work; I am lucky that it’s my job. (Huge points up if you get the difference.)

I am beloved of my daughters. I dedicated books to my late ex-wife and my ex-mother in law. That makes me a success.
I’m really good at
Helping people understand.

I've done improv; my directors thought I was worth the effort.

My dentist tells me I have the saliva of a teenager.

I can roll my tongue.
The first things people usually notice about me
The complete absence of fashion sense. Or the complete absence of shame, which may explain the absence of fashion sense.

Many years ago, we were urged to notify the authorities of anything that was out-of-place. I considered reporting two guys wearing black tie before sundown.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(A) Favorite Authors: Terry Pratchett. Dorothy L. Sayers (both Lord Peter and the apologetics). Mark Twain (I have a collection of firsts). Richard Mitchell (the late Underground Grammarian).

If anyone close to you is on the autism spectrum, read NeuroTribes, just out. Every week, as I walked by, I wondered what an "orthogenic school" was. Dear Lord.

(B) Manos: The Hands of Fate (MST3K and now Rifftrax); 12 Monkeys; Magnolia; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The Marx Brothers, The Thin Man series. Most Bogart. Virtually all of Kate Hepburn.

(C) Community. Orphan Black. The Americans, The Blacklist, Person of Interest. (I like my entertainment Just like my women — dark and confusing.) I can explain how astonishingly well-written Buffy the Vampire Slayer was. (Saying so may be a rule-in or rule-out criterion. And that I know the singular of criteria.)

(D) My iPhone has a lot of folk and singer-songwriter. Gilbert & Sullivan. Too much bubblegum. I stream classical, early, and alternative.

(E) I like homey things, plus Anglo Chinese, Anglo Mexican, Anglo Japanese, Anglo Middle-Eastern… you get the picture. “Delicacy” is a codeword for “nameless horror.”
The six things I could never do without
My daughters.
A computing/writing/communication device.
A place of work I can commute to on foot.
Corrective lenses.
Work that helps people feel less lost in the world.
My relationship with caffeine does not bear inspection.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My daughters. My friends. How things work.

How to structure an introduction to software development as a romantic novel. I love a challenge. The third act isn't gelling.

The fact that most OKCupid profiles that surely must be satirical, aren't.

Why Swift, Objective-C (ObjC), and Ruby aren’t on the languages-spoken list. I am being ironic.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading. Corresponding. Learning. Writing, when I have a gig. Okay, yes, watching some tube.
You should message me if
You get that I’ve chosen (my idea of) wit over accuracy. (No lies, just the better line.) Despite what I said about TV, blondes are welcome. Women who understand why I did it are especially welcome.

You are looking for your complement.

Geeks much preferred, or women who like them.
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