Since moving here, I've worked pretty hard to develop the delightful personality of a New Yorker
Once in a while I eat and train like an endurance athlete
I have a 52-inch TV named Betsy. She's glorious.
I once ran into Dennis Rodman in an elevator at work and threw my Snickers bar in the air to see if I could out-rebound him. He was not amused...
My current day job involves being overpaid to play with numbers at an insurance company. I also pretend that I really like corporate America.
Still perfecting those tantalizing exchanges regarding the weather and other people's kids, a la:
"Why yes, it IS raining today. Who would have ever thought? And yes, I do remember it NOT raining yesterday. HOW UNPREDICTABLE LIFE IS" or
"WOW, little Timmy scored ANOTHER goal for his pee-wee soccer team? Yes, I would love to hear more about this"
Doing math (this is because I'm asian)
The game Text Twist
Scheming. I am ridiculously good at this.
I once tried switching to organic foods. Unfortunately free-range, grass-fed, organic, hormone-free chickens are unreasonably more expensive than normal chickens and don't really taste any better, so that was the end of that
Places I want to go.
What doormen do during their 8-hour overnight shifts
Ninja vs. pirate in a fight to the death
How Hurley from Lost can go from eating 2 buckets of fried chicken every day to coconuts and bananas without losing any weight. It don't add up.
Whether running 135 miles through Death Valley in 130-degree weather and on pavement that melts your shoes would be incredibly inspiring or incredibly stupid.
You think you're a big deal.
You're filthy rich.