37Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
Update: So I no longer work at okcupid. No hard feelings, was just time to go. So, since it's impossible to change usernames, and since I, like everyone who's ever asked to change a username, have no desire to re-answer 600+ questions, my username is now, and will always be, a lie.

Update: I was wrong. My username is now entirely accurate.

Yes, I can still regale you with the weird tales of human nature to which OkCupid employees are privy, but they will fall increasingly out of date after March 19th, 2010.

My philosopher friends call me a science-banger. I take no offense.

Catch the latest.
What to Do in Case of Nukular Sharknado
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to learn violin again. Basically because I ran out of interesting TV shows.

Update: Found Rick and Morty. Put violin back in closet.
I’m really good at
Lotsa stuff. Especially bass. If bass was a competition, I would totally kick your ass.
The first things people usually notice about me
I look like David Bowie, circa 1973.

Update: 1982.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I once went on a date with this girl. I was unemployed, broke, killing time, freshly dropped in brooklyn with neither hope nor prayer, and this unimpressed and surprisingly short girl invites me to see a band after I send her an email on myspace, despite her strict warning not to message her on myspace. Anyway, without expectations, I head down and it turns out we're an hour early for the music. So it's a summer evening, and we go to drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes and chat each other up for a while.

Four hours later we've missed the band and haven't left the bar. I can say, without a doubt, this was the best date I'd ever had, and this girl was basically girl-me. Sadly, despite my affable cool during the date, I immediately blew it, probably because I'd just gotten out of a two year relationship and was, as mentioned above, unemployed, and had nothing much to do besides pine after a random stranger. So she smelled the puppy-esque desperation and headed south for the winter.

But on that date, she played me Strange Religion by Mark Lanegan. Even now, after all the associations with that first and only date faded away, this song takes me a little bit out of the day, and puts me in a sentimental fantasy of delicate romance in a vicious world.

I also like AC/DC.

Update 2015: I usually read and watch a variety of things, but for some reason, I've been on a sci-fi bender for about three years. Like, several hundred books and nothing left to see on Netflix. I boot up amazon once a week fully intending to buy some hard-hitting investigative journalism illuminating a complex social problem weighing on the minds of our children, but I end up with three more sci-fi books and the fading hope that at least one of them will have a decent grasp of quantum mechanics and not just use it as an excuse for magic but not magic because quantum something or stuff see it's totally science.

Update 2016: Holy shit, Greg Egan actually knows what he's talking about.
Six things I could never do without
"Testing something again"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How there is no better indicator of imminent racism than the words "I'm not racist, but"

Also how when people say something horrible and follow it up with "I'm just being honest," what they think they are saying is "I'm a human just like you and we all think socially unacceptable things and you should try to be as real as I am" but what they are really conveying is, "by the way, I'm actually horrible, not ironically horrible."

Which is ironic.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking. This doesn't really set Friday apart from other nights.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I wrote two books detailing the times my life strategies went nuclear and explaining my innermost fears and neuroses, so there's not much left to admit. Also, you should go buy them, and if you like the second one, drop a review, because the reviews on it look like I paid my cousin a root beer to shill for me:

And Then I Thought I Was a Fish
Observations of a Straight White Male with No Interesting Fetishes
You should message me if
I would say don't message me if you have a complaint about the site, but you will. I know you will. So go for it. Also message me if you meet all of the following requirements:


+ are perfectly self-confident
+ are effortlessly humble
+ are different from other people in this particular respect: you don't go around pointing out how different and unique you are every 20 minutes.
+ work out
+ have a PhD
+ play violin
+ and trumpet
+ have cooked at a five star restaurant
+ have mastered kung-fu
+ are willing to watch kung-fu
+ fight crime on weekdays
+ in tight leather outfits
+ are rich
+ want me to lie around your house or apartment all day in a towel
The two of us