31 Denver, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a graphic designer with a witty, occasionally offensive sense of humor. My affinity for humor sometimes gets me in trouble. Making people laugh is the most addicting drug on this planet, and the recipe isn't always sugar and spice. I believe its difficult to know where the line is if you don't cross it from time to time. Likewise, if on our first date you fall and your shoes fly off or you lose your wig and it gets sucked up by a street sweeper, I'm going to be asking if you're alright, but only while gasping for breath. I'd expect no less if the roles were reversed.

I love snowboarding, camping, white water rafting, crossfit, poker, and seeing live music or comedy.
What I’m doing with my life
I graduated with my BFA in Communication Design and am currently a web designer for a midsized corporation.

I recently decided I need to get in better shape, so I've begun eating healthier and started doing crossfit a little while ago. While this has been one of the better decisions I've made in a while, I still like to get my drink on and eat like Adam Richman when the time calls for it.

I really want to adopt a retired greyhound. (The racing dogs, not an old bus. Although...)
I’m really good at
Identifying a song from 3 notes or less, telling stories, making people laugh, and I like to think I'm pretty good at reading people. Whether you're making a huge bluff with ace high, have something heavy on your mind, or are trying not to laugh at the stupid look on the face of the guy who just walked into the automatic door, I can usually tell.
The first things people usually notice about me
Previously I would have said my beard. It was getting rather respectable before I cut it off. Currently, probably my eyes. I have strangely long eyelashes. Sometimes I bat them in an attempt to get out of a speeding ticket. Believe it or not, this has yet to work.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fahrenheit 451, How to Make Love Like a Pornstar: a Cautionary Tale, How to Be a Graphic Designer Without Losing Your Soul.

Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, Snatch, Rounders, The Matrix, Closer, Inception, The Departed, American History-X, Inglorious Basterds, Jackass, Blackhawk Down, The Dark Knight, Troy, 300, Kill Bill, I Love You Man, Dodgeball, Big Daddy, Burn After Reading, Drive, and any well done documentary.

Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein, A Perfect Circle, Deftones, Tool, How to Destroy Angels, Massive Attack, Alice in Chains, System of a Down, Mindless Self Indulgence, In Flames, Bassnectar, Odesza, Purity Ring, Daft Punk, Benny Benassi, PANTyRAiD, Deadmau5, The Glitch Mob, The Prodigy, Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, Westside Connection, Eminem, NWA, Notorious BIG, Nate Dogg, Nas, Lupe Fiasco, Florence + the Machine, Lana Del Rey, The Naked and Famous, The Ventures, Dion and the Belmonts, Otis Redding, Chuck Berry...

Jim Norton, Louis CK, Bill Burr, Jim Jefferies, Patton Oswalt, Tom Segura, Patrice O'Neil George Carlin...
The six things I could never do without
-Craft Beer
-Sans Serifs
-Witty Humor
-Barbells & Bumper Plates
-Good Friends
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-Why Helvetica is so popular.
-Winning a WSOP bracelet.
-How the fuck Nicolas Cage still gets work.
-The fact that everyone named Darrel was a baby at some point. Little baby Darrel.
-Why I don't use Helvetica more often.
-How much of a boss Dick Cheney is to be able to shoot a man IN THE FACE, only for said man to get on national television and apologize for having gotten shot in the face. Straight. Gangster.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably playing poker, having alcohols with friends, or making it a Blockbuster night because I have many people to see about many important things the next day.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I could watch videos of babies laughing or toddlers falling down ALL. DAY. LONG.

r/ChildrenFallingDown - you can thank me later.
You should message me if
-You have some music or a film to share with me. I always like being introduced to new stuff.
-You enjoy very cerebral humor right along side watching Johnny Knoxville fall down a flight of stairs.
-You appreciate a long winded, but vivid story.
-You are fitness minded or enjoy being active.
-You enjoy getting lost in conversation. This is a huge one. There are few bigger turn-ons for me than a skilled conversationalist.
-You want to hit up one of our many fine local microbreweries.
-You've ever lit a couch on fire because you were cold.