36Flushing, United States
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My self-summary
"Le principe de l'invention est le hasard" - Paul Souriau

- Before I reached thirteen, I had already lost both of my parents so I supported myself and my siblings by working at a factory, then later as a private tutor.
- I have lived in several countries--the Philippines, Singapore, Indonesia, Germany, England, South Korea, Scotland, France, and now the USA.
- I enjoy most outdoor sports: hiking, cycling, rock-climbing, kayaking. I like to be active even when I'm on vacation. I have climbed most Munros in Scotland, and have done the trek from Yuksom to Goeche La (~ 5,000 meters) in the Eastern Himalyas in two days. I still dream of tackling five of the seven summits.
- I do not care much for material possessions, or for the prospects of owning property or accumulating wealth.
- I think and write about the value and importance of difference, albeit not in the sense of how we differ in our personalities or according to prevailing social categories, but rather in terms of how new possibilities emerge from our ongoing interactions and relationships with others to the extent that we acknowledge one another's uniqueness and complexity.
- I have a distinctive outlook on most things, but I do not take myself too seriously (we can have further discussions about what this means, but I'd rather you experience it yourself).
- My diverse lived experiences have made me less susceptible to defining myself (and judging others) in terms of what other people think.
- I cannot think inside the box: for example, I interpret experiences and events not according to a thing-property ontology, but rather according to a relational developmental ontology; people are bundles of energy in perpetual dynamic interaction with organic processes inside and outside them; if you subscribe to the Myers-Briggs framework, the same organic processes transformed me from an INTJ to an ESFP after two decades.

What exactly do I bring to our encounter that would make it worth your while?
1) I embody a nurturing and liberating presence. Having overcome most of my insecurities I will neither begrudge your independence nor disparage your endeavours, and I will challenge you only with regard to how you live up to your OWN values, not with regard to how you fulfill my needs or desires.
2) I am alive and attuned to who you are, the various subtle forces that animate your particular mind and body. I can get you to discern the difference between how we experience our lives, and how we make sense of them so that you can harness both in becoming who you are.
3) Because I am rather disinclined to judging or controlling other people, I amplify rather than drain people's energies.
4) I am never bored, and so will never expect you to entertain or indulge me. But this is largely because I have developed a stamina for observing, thinking, listening, and creating that most people might find exhausting (analogy: consider how we develop the stamina for strenuous physical exercise).
5) What I enjoy and value in our time together are our interactions and conversations and how those things can help us grow and flourish, each on our own terms, so I neither reduce you to a set of character traits nor carry interior dialogues with some effigy of who you are.
6) I can make you feel alive, almost reborn, even as you find yourself trapped in situations that you have come to take for granted as necessities of modern existence. I can make you think without feeling anxious, laugh without feeling silly, indulge in the pleasures and wonders of being human without feeling guilty.

And all you'll need to bring to the same encounter is an open mind and a rebel heart.

Will you come and groove with me?
What I’m doing with my life
I teach at a liberal arts college, and I'm working on a book that demonstrates the significance of inhabiting our own and one another's differences for creating meaningful social and cultural change.
I’m really good at
writing, cooking, listening, bearing witness, being there for others, articulating my thoughts and emotions, asking questions, kissing
The first things people usually notice about me
eyes, smile, style
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Roland Barthes' Lover's Discourse, John Banville's The Untouchables, Tom Stoppard's The Coast of Utopia trilogy, John Burnside's The Lighttrap, Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, Thomas Mann's der Zauberberg, Virginia Woolf's The Waves, and Friedrich Nietzsche's die fröhliche Wissenschaft

Music: Wagner, Beethoven, Mahler, Schubert, Jazz (esp. Miles Davis & John Coltrane), Female jazz vocals (esp. Stacey Kent), Indie Rock, Bluegrass, the 'Easy Rider' and 'Almost Famous' soundtrack

(1) Anything by Michael Haneke, especially Code Unknown (2000), La Pianiste (2001), and Das Weisse Band (2009)
(2) Jules et Jim (1962) Francois Truffaut
(3) Farewell My Concubine (1993) Chen Kaige
(4) Diary of A Country Priest (1951) Robert Bresson
(5) An Autumn Afternoon (1962) Yasujiro Ozu; 35 Shots of Rhum (2008) Claire Denis
(6) Casablanca (1946) Michael Curtiz; Noises Off (1992) Peter Bogdanovich
(7) Barcelona (1994) Whit Stillman
(8) Mandala (1981) Im Kwon Taek
(9) The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) Carl Dreyer; The Trial of Joan of Arc (1962) Robert Bresson
(10) The Idiots (1998), Dogville (2003), and Melancholia (2011) Lars von Trier

Painters: Edouard Vuillard; Gerhard Richter; Agnes Martin

Food: Korean, Japanese, Italian
Six things I could never do without
* Beautiful souls / Free spirits *

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I spend a lot of time thinking about
how language shapes our lived experiences, the redemptive role of art, the utility and tyranny of our concepts and categories, fear and loathing in America, the dynamics of online attraction
On a typical Friday night I am
- working on a paper
- watching a film or a performance (theater or concert )
- having casual or deep conversations with friends
You should message me if
spiritual chemistry
- you're a self-effacing adventurous spirit;
- you're looking for an outdoor sports/adventure partner (strenuous hiking, rock-climbing, mountain expeditions); or
- you're a bodhisattva warrior with more than two hands to show for it.
- you can distinguish between self-criticism and self-loathing, ordinary human suffering and self-indulgent anger/bitterness, ethical sensibility and self-righteousness, open-mindedness and complacency.

intellectual chemistry
- you prefer to discuss and examine ideas or experiences rather than merely exchange serial reports on what you or other people were doing yesterday or would be doing tomorrow;
- you can hold your own ground in a heated intellectual discussion without taking things personally.

sexual chemistry
- you know how to solve the mind/body problem in the bedroom;
- you can seduce someone with your clothes on;
- you are laid-back and can just go with the flow (e.g., a monk/pirate with a charming smile and a sense of humour).
The two of us