39Tampa, United States
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My self-summary
Hi everyone. I'm a somewhat geeky, sorta artsy, extremely wordy writer person and I'm on OKCupid to find great new friends who also like to have content-rich conversations and commit nerdery. I marked that I'm only here for friendships, but people don't really listen. Still, I'm gonna put my disclaimer first for all the people who don't want to waste their time if they can't date me! Whee!

I am here for friends. You should not understand this as "friends until we know each other better." Or "friends but let's see where it goes." Or especially not "pretending you're messaging me for friendship, but you mysteriously only want to be friends with women you're sexually attracted to, and have nothing to say that isn't about my body and what you like about it." I'm uninterested in an exclusive partnership, the end, forever, and even after that. If you're looking at my profile because you're hoping I will date you or sex you, we are not what each other are looking for. We cool? Good!

I promise that I am exactly what it says on the tin, so don't complain if you bought it without reading the ingredients. This isn't complicated. People who talk to me for romance or sex will be asked to sit in the sad chair.

I've been having a great time finding like-minded people to talk to, so hopefully that's you! I especially like hearing from people who are creative or have interesting projects going on--this goes double if you're also a writer. Please send me a message with substance, though. I would like to see more than "hi, how are you?" in a first message. Tell me why you connected with my profile and start a conversation.

Stuff I'll just ignore:

* "hey what's up/how was ur weekend or holiday/any luck?"
* meaningless "quirky" questions that sound like icebreakers from terrible party games
* violations of my expressed wishes (because lol ~rebel~ ~edgy~ ~can't follow directions~)
* loling about or exclaiming over the length of my profile and/or implying no one can be expected to read it
* immediate requests to meet
* insulting other women to "compliment" me in comparison
* requests to "just chat" as a substitute for reading my profile
* generic-as-hell compliments with nothing to back them up, such as "interesting" or "cool" or "beautiful" or "so sexy" or "down-to-earth" or "fun"
* messages that are nothing but physical compliments
* advice on changing the profile to attract people I would find repugnant
* sexually explicit or abusive messages

So please--don't send me bait on a fishing hook if you're the type who doesn't care what bites. Our profiles are for talking about ourselves. Our messages should be for talking about us--what we have in common. Start a conversation.

And a special message for all the "laid-back guys who just like to laugh and have fun," I am warning you: I hate fun. I hate fun so much. I am at Murky Dismal and Oscar the Grouch levels of fun-hating over here. Fun is awful. Last time I had fun I had to take prescription medication to get over it. Offer me none of this fun! (Especially if you think "fun" is a clever euphemism for your genitalia! WINK WINK, WOW!)

But surely you're one of the ones who is way too awesome to make me deal with that crap, right? So let's talk about you!

Ways to get sweet authentic interaction from me:

1. Say something specific about what you liked in my profile.
2. Have something kickass in common with me and be willing to talk about it in depth.
3. Be really rambly and wall-of-text-ish in a way that you usually have to apologize for with other people.
4. Have questions about something I do and want advice, perspectives, or notes-comparison.
5. Be willing to be a little patient for a response; sometimes I'm really overwhelmed and behind, but I WILL write you back if you're clearly the kind of person I'm talking about here.
6. Understand that OKCupid is a matching site, not just a "dating site." Here-for categories are a thing, and the only one I checked is "friends."
7. Having a high match percentage with me doesn't hurt. Neither does being most of the things on this list.

That's it! Not hard! If you're looking for friends and conversation partners too, or you're shopping for a mate but aren't planning to hit me up for it, AWESOME! Let's move on to the part where I tell you all the reasons why we should be friends instead of dwelling on the fart-gobblers who won't read this and will continue to message me based on my picture no matter what I do! :D :D :D

Things I love:

Art and artists, music, honesty, thought-provoking conversation, respect, information, memories, Halloween, nature, my favorite colors (pink and black), cartoons, vanilla- and lemon-scented things, babies, the stars, and well-written character-oriented speculative fiction books.

Things I hate:

Being addressed as "baby" or "hey sexy," accidentally consuming onions, having people talk to me condescendingly or dismissively because I don't believe or feel or value what they do, people thinking reading is for jerks, people exploiting the anonymity of the Internet to be dickheads, people refusing to accept that I don't want to pet their dogs, selfishness, disrespect, racism, homophobia, transphobia, dishonesty, and terrible spelling.

Things I do:

Writing, singing, karaoke, baking, writing/drawing webcomics, DDR (which is Dance Dance Revolution, a dancing video game), making websites, making YouTube videos, drawing, doing arts and crafts, planting flowers/herbs, editing, arranging my hair in silly ways, organizing information obsessively, wearing two different colored socks, and talking a lot. I'll give you some links to the places you can see me doing this stuff further down in the profile.

Things I am:

A WRITER, an artist, an eclectic atheistic solitary Pagan (figure that one out!), a childlike (not childish) person, an open book, a language professional, a soprano, a 70s baby, a woman of small stature, a blue-eyed light-skinned long-haired blonde, an avid reader, a vegetarian, a daughter, a sister, a polyphasic sleeper, and an aromantic asexual person.

Stuff on asexuality if you're curious:

I have never been sexually attracted to anyone, and I am not trying to change that. It's an orientation that describes about 1% of the population. I'm also aromantic, which means I'm not romantically attracted to people. That's it!

Links (which might not work as links if you're on mobile):

Asexuality: An Overview: My video on the topic. Start here if you want the basics; it's kinda cute and funny while being educational.
The Invisible Orientation: A general nonfiction book on the topic. I wrote it.
My Articles: All my published articles on the subject.
Media Appearances: A complete list of my magazine interviews, TV and movie appearances, news/radio interviews, and speaking engagements.
Asexuality Resources: My mini-site on asexuality.
Letters to an Asexual: I read letters and address misconceptions. Mostly features me mocking my hate mail.
My Best Asexuality Posts: My most memorable essays on asexuality.

Stuff you might want to know about talking to me:

I appreciate humor. I like many different styles of it, and anything from sophisticated literary humor to juvenile fart-pee humor will probably get me laughing. Curse words--even very disgusting ones--are okay with me, so don't censor yourself in private messages to me if you don't want to--the exception being don't use slurs AT ME or to make bigoted remarks about others. That said, I think it's disrespectful to assume everyone's okay with it, so I keep my language irreverent but relatively clean until or unless I know I don't have to, especially in public and/or around children.

I am likely to see layers of motivation in your actions. I don't make assumptions or voice my observations or view everyone pessimistically, but for better or for worse you can expect me to understand you better than you're used to being understood because I really will hear you and believe you. In general I still want you to give me the words when we talk--I want to know that you have expressed your feelings and it is now okay for me to react to them outwardly--but it is probably only fair to let you know that lying to me will immediately diminish my respect for you (and I WILL notice).

That said, I still manage to see the best in people, and I react partly to who they want to be as well as who they are. I'm idealistic, optimistic, and "too" forgiving when it comes to other people, and sometimes this leads me to put up with more b.s. than I should. Truthfully, though, I don't think I'd have it any other way.

I've said I'm a creative person, but that becomes REALLY obvious when you talk to me or meet me. I am easily excited by silly things, enjoy doing goofy stuff like jumping on the bed or eating the cookie dough, and I sing all the time. I'm a fan of pigtails, and will probably be disproportionately excited over something silly like colorful shoelaces or a sparkly sticker. I'm not the kind of person who thinks drinking is required before the "fun" actually counts as worthwhile, but I find a lot of people think that means I'm avoiding it for purity reasons or some such nonsense. Nope. I don't personally like being drunk and don't believe you if you say I can't possibly have fun or "be myself" without alcohol. And even though I might want to talk about complex topics on here, I promise you that I will probably laugh just as hard at an absurd movie or a joke about poop.

I am a producer much more than I am a consumer. Writing is very, very important to me, and if given the chance I will create rather than browse someone else's creation. Though of course being a creator requires that one consumes as well.

I'm what I call a "binge" writer; I don't have a regular writing schedule of any kind, but when an idea grabs me and I decide it's time to write it, I do little else until it's done. (For a frame of reference, I once wrote a 155,000-word novel in 2 weeks, and once wrote a 255,000-word novel in 5 weeks.) If I am in writing mode, I may go under for a while and you'll only know why I disappeared off the face of the Earth once I surface and tell you so, but it doesn't happen THAT often.

Er, and . . . as you might've noticed, I'm NOT one of those people who says "Oh, I really hate writing about myself. I never know what to put in these things." I'm the opposite--I want people to know everything if they find it interesting, and I have very little to hide. I have EVERYTHING to say!
What I’m doing with my life
So first off, I'm a writer, and yes, that is one of my jobs. I occasionally sell things I wrote, including (so far) a book and some short pieces.

I'm a part-time administrative assistant. That's my day job!

I'm a freelance editor, but I'm not really taking clients. Sometimes maybe a critique partner here and there, but they have to be close to a final draft for me to take it.

But beyond what I do for money, let's talk about why I'm here. On the planet.

I'm a creative weirdo and now I will tell you about all the weirdness I am weirding.

First, a sort of concise list of recently completed and in-progress projects is available here: swankivy's Right Now.


Relevant links:

* Pro author site
* Personal writing blog
* Older indulgent collective writing site (novel info, short stories, poetry, nonsense, rants, essays)
* YouTube (writing advice videos)
* Facebook author page

As you may have figured out by now, I do spend a lot of my life seriously devoted to writing. If you'd like to ask stuff about the status of my projects, go for it.

I wrote two crappy novels before I turned fifteen, four crappy novels when I was in college, and seven not-so-crappy novels in recent years. My current fiction projects include the following:

* One fantasy trilogy/fairy tale retelling which my agent is shopping to publishers;
* One New Adult romance/fantastical crossover that I'm kind of hanging onto; and
* One science fiction romance with a male protagonist that is on the back burner.
* One YA contemporary story with an ace protagonist, which I'm actively writing now.

I have a Middle Grade book in progress, but it's on hold. I have an idea for a Young Adult science fiction that I'll get to someday. I also write tons of short stories.


I wrote a book about asexuality and my agent (a different literary agent from the one who reps my fiction) sold it. That's pretty cool.

My Intro Video, my Good Vibes Author Profile, my Media Appearances, my mini-site, my YouTube, and my Tumblr contain a ton of my outreach and writings on the topic.

I was also in a fairly widely circulated documentary about asexuality which premiered at a large gay and lesbian film festival in 2011. The film, which is called (A)sexual, is now out on iTunes and Netflix. I do conferences and public appearances and whatnot sometimes, but I prefer content creation.


Negative One is my oldest webcomic, begun in May 2005 and updated every week. It is a fantasy/drama type comic drawn in pencil sketches. It contains a lot of character development and a very cute baby with superpowers.

So You Write is a color manga-style comic strip that has no story; it's just toons about the writing process and the weird experience of being a writer. I started it in June of 2012.

My other art is presented on my personal site. I also have a DeviantART.


I was once a music major (with voice as my instrument), so I'm a decent singer. I love karaoke and making silly videos. If you want to watch and hear:

Check out my website for sound files.

Watch me on the karaoke site SingSnap.

Watch me singing six-part harmony with myself a cappella, or doing the Portal song, or performing a duet from Wicked with another singer.


Socially, I'm constantly busy with friends, obligations, online life, and creativity. I go to events with my friends, have individual hangouts and occasional large gatherings and parties, go on vacation to visit people I know from online, and spend time with my family. You might want to make a note that if you become one of my friends, you might have to take a number to get on my calendar. (Heh, just kidding, but kinda not.)


I adore making bread, cookies, cakes, and brownies. I have my own recipes site!


Want to watch me dance?


I have a Goodreads account and I review books there. I read a book a week these days, if I can, and I belong to a book club.
I’m really good at
Well, you already know about the writing, singing, webcomicking, baking, DDR, and all that. What else?

I'm good at being there for my friends.

I'm good at documenting stuff.

I'm good at keeping an active blog. (See my LiveJournal or my BlogSpot.)

I'm good at imitating the voices of several cartoon characters.

I'm good at remembering everything.

I'm good at phrasing things in ways that put the issues into perspective.

I'm good at eating lots of candy.

I'm good at riding a bike. (I don't know how to drive, so my bike is my transportation.)

I'm good at making friends with kids, but kind of bad at babysitting them.

I'm good at supporting people in what they want to do.

I'm good at finding every little mistake in a piece of writing, and remembering writing idiosyncrasies and minor variations in form. My grammar nitpicking is pretty scary. I do not use it for evil (such as judging someone as unworthy of attention from me because they speak a different dialect than I do or aren't a native speaker of my language). I edit when I'm asked to help make a piece conform to standard English. I do NOT nitpick your informal messages. I seriously have no interest in doing that unless you pay me.

And even though I talk a lot, I can be a good listener.
The first things people usually notice about me
Depends on what they look for, but physically I imagine people notice the copious amounts of blonde stuff hanging off my head and my pixy-like qualities. (Yeah, but I don't need to go into detail since you can see the pictures.) I'm short (yes, less than five feet!) and kind of look like a kid. No one ever believes I'm in my thirties, but yes, those are recent photos. Also, I sing a lot, so they might notice my voice before they see me.

And in text-based media, the first thing people notice is that I TYPE IN COMPLETE SENTENCES (what a concept!) with correct punctuation and nigh-perfect spelling. If you can find a typo, a misused word, or a grammar mistake that ISN'T the result of just being informal, then . . . well, here's a cookie! (Seriously, I will bake you one. I'm good at it.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I know a lot of people skip this section, but I find it's a good way to figure out what you have in common with people. Feel free to scroll past if you want. These are in alphabetical order if you want to find if something's on the list; books by author, bands by band name or individual artist's last name, shows and movies by title. And food by . . . food. Someone once suggested I bold my standout faves, so I'm doing that.

(a) Favorite books. Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker books). Richard Adams (Watership Down). K. A. Applegate (Animorphs). Alison Bechdel (Fun Home, Are You My Mother?). Francesca Lia Block (Dangerous Angels and others). Vanna Bonta (Flight). Ann Brashares (Traveling Pants books). Charlotte Brontë (Jane Eyre). Emily Brontë (Wuthering Heights). Octavia E. Butler (Patternist series and Xenogenesis series). Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower). Eoin Colfer (Artemis Fowl series). Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games series). Scott Cunningham (Pagan-related instruction books). Roald Dahl (all his kids' books). Richard Dawkins (all science and skepticism books). Diane Duane (Young Wizards series). Lois Duncan (most young adult fiction). Katherine Dunn (Geek Love). Garth Ennis (Preacher graphic novels). Jeffrey Eugenides (Middlesex). J.C. Fann (The Queenschair series). Usamaru Furuya (Short Cuts manga). Neil Gaiman (Sandman comics and adult fantasy novels). Arthur Golden (Memoirs of a Geisha). Steven Gould (Jumper). Shannon Hale (Books of Bayern series, Book of a Thousand Days, Princess Academy series, and The Actor and the Housewife). Alex Haley (Roots). Sam Harris (The End of Faith and Letter to a Christian Nation). Pete Hautman (Godless). Stephen Hawking (all science books). Robert Heinlein (Stranger in a Strange Land). Joseph Heller (Catch-22). Carl Hiaasen (all adult and kids' books). Eva Ibbotson (Which Witch?). Riichiro Inagaki and Yusuke Murata (Eyeshield 21 manga). Ken Kesey (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). Daniel Keyes (Flowers for Algernon). Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees). Stephen King (On Writing, Firestarter, The Shining, Carrie, The Stand, and the Gunslinger series, though I haven't read the whole thing). Barbara Kingsolver (The Poisonwood Bible). John Knowles (A Separate Peace). Nancy Kress (Beggars in Spain). Wally Lamb (I Know This Much Is True). Gail Carson Levine (Ella Enchanted). David Levithan (Boy Meets Boy). Gregory Maguire (Wicked and all adult novels). Yann Martel (Life of Pi). George R.R. Martin (Wild Cards). Edain McCoy (The Sabbats and other Pagan instructional material). Eloise McGraw (The Moorchild). Keith Miller (The Book of Flying). Christopher Moore (Lamb and others). Jaclyn Moriarty (The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie). John Novak (How to Meditate). Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club and others). Julie Anne Peters (Luna and all her books). Rodman Philbrick (Freak the Mighty). Dav Pilkey (Captain Underpants series). Daniel Pinkwater (Young Adult Novel). Philip Pullman (His Dark Materials series). Daniel Quinn (Ishmael). Wilson Rawls (Where the Red Fern Grows). Louise Rennison (Georgia Nicolson books). Mike Resnick (Will the Last Person to Leave the Planet Please Shut Off the Sun?). Spider Robinson (Callahan books and all others). Linda Rosenkrantz and Pamela Satran (baby-naming books). Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park, Fangirl). J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter series). Louis Sachar (Holes, There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom, The Cardturner, other kids' books). J.D. Salinger (Catcher in the Rye). R.A. Salvatore (Dark Elf trilogy). Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation). William Shakespeare (Hamlet). Shel Silverstein (The Missing Piece Meets the Big O). Dan Simmons (The Hollow Man). Carla Sinclair and Mark Frauenfelder (The Happy Mutant Handbook). William Sleator (all kids' books). Andrew Smith (100 Sideways Miles, Grasshopper Jungle). Lemony Snicket (A Series of Unfortunate Events). Jerry Spinelli (Milkweed, Stargirl). Ivan Stang (SubGenius literature). Tom Stoppard (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead). Patricia Telesco (Paganism guides). J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings). Lynne Truss (Eats, Shoots & Leaves). Jhonen Vasquez (JTHM, Squee, and I Feel Sick). Joan D. Vinge (Cat series). Rebecca Wells (Ya-Ya Sisterhood books). Edith Wharton (Ethan Frome). Elie Wiesel (Night). G. Clifton Wisler (the kids' series about the character Scott). Timothy Zahn (A Coming of Age). Paul Zindel (The Pigman).

(b) Favorite Movies. (A)sexual, Adaptation., Amélie, Anastasia, Anchorman, Arise!, BASEketball, Beetlejuice, Being John Malkovich, Benny & Joon, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, The Birdcage, The Brave Little Toaster, The Breakfast Club, Brokeback Mountain, Chasing Amy, Chicago, Choke, Clerks, Clerks II, A Clockwork Orange, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), Contact, Dancer in the Dark, Dead Poets Society, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Dogma, Dragon Half, Drop Dead Fred, Dune, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Far and Away, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fiddler on the Roof, The Fifth Element, Fight Club, Finding Nemo, Forbidden Zone, Galaxy Quest, The God Who Wasn't There, The Green Mile, Groundhog Day, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Hobbit, I Married a Strange Person, The Incredibles, Into the Woods, Jeffrey, Jerry Springer: The Opera, Juno, Kiki's Delivery Service, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, The Last Unicorn, A League of Their Own, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Life of Brian, Lilo & Stitch, Little Shop of Horrors, Lord of the Dance, Lord of the Rings, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Mallrats, Man of La Mancha, The Meaning of Life, Megamind, Memoirs of a Geisha, Monsters, Inc., Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Moulin Rouge!, Mr. Holland's Opus, Mulan, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Girl, The NeverEnding Story, Newsies, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Office Space, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Orgazmo, Phantom of the Opera, Phenomenon, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Point, Project A-ko, The Rage in Placid Lake, Rain Man, Rat Race, Read or Die, Rent, Rise of the Guardians, Robin Hood (Disney), Rocky Horror Picture Show, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Saving Private Ryan, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Slumdog Millionaire, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Stranger Than Fiction, Swing Kids, Sweeney Todd, Talladega Nights, Tank Girl, Team America, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar, The Tune, 12 Monkeys, UHF, Unbreakable, Up, V for Vendetta, Waiting . . ., Watership Down, Waterworld, The Whale Rider, Wizards, X-Men, and Zoolander.

(c) Favorite Shows. For live action shows: The Big Bang Theory, Da Ali G Show, Densha Otoko, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Father Ted, Galavant, The Guild, House, M.D., Huge, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Orphan Black, Red Dwarf, Roseanne, Roundhouse, Sesame Street, Tenacious D, The Upright Citizens Brigade, and You Can't Do That On Television. For American animated shows: Adventure Time, Animaniacs, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Beavis & Butt-head, Bee and Puppycat, The Boondocks, The Brak Show, Earthworm Jim, Freakazoid, Gravity Falls, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, Home Movies, Invader Zim, The Legend of Korra, Liquid Television, The Powerpuff Girls, Red vs. Blue, Ren & Stimpy, Robot Chicken, Rugrats, Samurai Jack, Sealab 2021, The Simpsons, South Park, Spaceghost Coast to Coast, Steven Universe, The Tick, We Bare Bears, and X-Men. For Japanese animated shows: Azumanga Daioh, Binzume Yousei (Bottle Fairy), Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon), Boku no Chikyuu o Mamotte (Please Save My Earth), Chikyuu Shoujo Arjuna (Earth Girl Arjuna), Chobits, DiGi Charat, Digimon, El-Hazard, Erufu wo Karumono-tachi (Those Who Hunt Elves), Excel Saga, Eyeshield 21, Fruits Basket, Fushigi Yuugi (The Mysterious Play), Gakuen Alice, Haibane Renmei (Charcoal Feather Federation), Haunted Junction, Ichigo Mashimaro, Kaleido Star, Kami-chu!: Kamisama de Chugakusei (Kamichu! Middle School Goddess), Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou (His and Her Circumstances), Karin, Kodomo No Omocha (Child's Toy), Lovely Complex, Mahou Tsukai Tai! (Magic User's Club), Master of Mosquiton, Musekinin Kanchou Tylor (The Irresponsible Captain Tylor), Nichijou (My Ordinary Life), NieA_7, Ninin ga Shinobuden (Ninja Nonsense: The Legend of Shinobu), Ranma 1/2, Saber Marionette J, Shoujo Kakumei Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena), Tenchi Muyo (No Need for Tenchi), Tenshi na Konamaiki (Cheeky Angel), and Video Girl Ai.

(d) Favorite Music. Ace of Base, Adiemus, Aerosmith, Lily Allen, America, Amiel, Tori Amos, Annwn, Fiona Apple, The Arrogant Worms, ATC, Avalon Rising, Johann Sebastian Bach, The Bangles, Sara Bareilles, Barnes & Barnes, The Beatles, Natasha Bedingfield, Ludwig van Beethoven, Bel Canto, Belly, The Bird and the Bee, Björk, Blackmore's Night, Sarah Blasko, Blind Melon, The Bloodhound Gang, Blümchen, Boston, Clare Bowditch, Bowling For Soup, The Breeders, Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, Benjamin Britten, Kate Bush, Butthole Surfers, Captain Jack, Carissa's Wierd, Cat Power, Tracy Chapman, Chicago, George Clinton, CocoRosie, Coldplay, Phil Collins, Jonathan Coulton, The Cranberries, Claude Debussy, Delhi to Dublin, Dido, Ani DiFranco, The Dissociatives, DJ Sammy, DobaCaracol, Fefe Dobson, Dr. Demento, The Doors, Dreamtrybe, Electric Light Orchestra, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Emerald Rose, Enigma, Enya, Era, Evanescence, Eve 6, Evermore, Gabriel Fauré, Feist, Sarah Fimm, Fleetwood Mac, 4 Non Blondes, For Squirrels, The Free Design, Freezepop, Frente!, Frou Frou, Nelly Furtado, Garbage, Garfunkel and Oates, george, Girlyman, Delta Goodrem, Eddy Goombah, Nina Gordon, Guns N' Roses, Gypsy, Jan Hammer, Darren Hayes, Imogen Heap, Heart, Jimi Hendrix, Missy Higgins, Gustav Holst, india.arie, Indigo Girls, Inkubus Sukkubus, ItaloBrothers, Jessie J, Jethro Tull, Jewel, Billy Joel, Elton John, Janis Joplin, Journey, Angélique Kidjo, Kenny Klein, The KLF, KoRn, Chantal Kreviazuk, David Lanz & Paul Speer, Cyndi Lauper, Ben Lee, Little Birdy, The Lonely Island, Stephen Lynch, Madonna, The Mamas and the Papas, Kathy Mar, Charlotte Martin, Michelle Mays, Mazzy Star, MC Chris, Maureen McElheron, Loreena McKennitt, Sarah McLachlan, Mediæval Bæbes, Metallica, MIKA, Kate Miller-Heidke, Monty Python, The Moody Blues, Mae Moore, Alanis Morissette, Moving Breath, Moxy Früvous, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Pong Nan, Negativland, Joanna Newsom, Sheila Nicholls, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, No Doubt, Shannon Noll, Heather Nova, Sinéad O'Connor, October Project, Oingo Boingo, Ookla the Mok, Oppenheimer, Owl City, Paramore, Pearl Jam, Gwydion Pendderwen, Pink Floyd, Poe, The Police, Maddy Prior, Queen, R.E.M., Max Raabe, Rage Against the Machine, Rajaton, Rasputina, The Residents, Happy Rhodes, Ricki-Lee, Philip Riley & Jayne Elleson, Carina Round, John Rutter, Rachel Sage, Adam Sandler, Seven 13, Jane Siberry, Elaine Silver, Simon & Garfunkel, Sarah Slean, Smashing Pumpkins, Smile.dk, Soundgarden, Splashdown, Strong Bad, t.A.T.u., Kari Tauring, Tenacious D, Vienna Teng, They Might Be Giants, Type O Negative, U2, Holly Valance, Suzanne Vega, Velvet Hammer, Ween, Hayley Westenra, Dar Williams, Wesley Willis, Within Temptation, Wolfstone, Wyrd Sisters, XTC, and "Weird Al" Yankovic. I also like these musicals: Avenue Q, Chess, Chicago, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Fiddler On the Roof, The Forbidden Zone, A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder, Hamilton, Into the Woods, Jekyll & Hyde, Les Misérables, Little Shop of Horrors, Man of La Mancha, Moulin Rouge, Newsies, Phantom of the Opera, Rent, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Spamalot, and Wicked.

(e) Favorite Foods. Apples, apricots (dried), artichokes, bagels, bananas, Boca vegetarian products, uncooked bread dough, broccoli, brownies, Cadbury Creme Eggs, most kinds of cake, cantaloupe, caramel, Caramello Bars, cardamom, carrots, cauliflower, cheese in general, Chinese food, chocolate, coffee, uncooked cookie dough, cookie dough ice cream, corn, Diet Coke, edamame, egg drop soup, eggnog, eggroll wrappers (yes, just the wrapper!), eggs, french fries, Goldfish crackers, granola bars, grape juice, grapes, grapefruit, grapefruit juice, anything green-apple flavored, grilled cheese sandwiches, home-baked cookies, homemade bread, hot chocolate, Japanese food, jellybeans (I actually like the cheapie ones better than Jelly Bellies, but I like both), Jolt Cola, Laughing Cow Cheese, Lemonheads, lemons, licorice, lo mein, macaroni and cheese, Mandarin oranges, Milky Way Candy Bars, mint chocolate chip ice cream, mints, Morningstar Farms vegetarian products (if you want to know why I'm a vegetarian, help yourself to that info), mushrooms, mushroom soup, Nerds, oatmeal, orange juice, pancakes, pasta, peanut butter, peanuts, Pez, pie (lemon meringue, key lime, apple), pineapple, Pixy Stix, pizza, pomegranates, popcorn, popsicles (I like orange creamsicles and chocolate tofu pops), anything with potatoes, pretzels, Pringles, pudding (tapioca, vanilla, butterscotch), quiche, Ranch dip, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, salad, shribble soup, Slush Puppies (Blue Raspberry flavor), shortbread, soy milk, SpaghettiOs, Starburst, strawberries, stroopwafels, vegetarian sushi, sweet pickles, SweetTarts, Swiss cheese, tofu, tomato soup, Twix Bars, vanilla ice cream, Velveeta cheese, waffles, Wheat Thins, and white chocolate. Yes, my list of favorite foods is alphabetical. Yes, I agree that I am a little bit scary because of this.

I am also a big fan of the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, but I don't listen to any other podcasts regularly.
Six things I could never do without
We'll assume the basics like air and food and stuff are covered, because there's no reason to ask a question like this and then have a person list what they biologically need to survive. What they really want to know here is what are six things that are really, really important to you. Here are mine.

My computer/Internet access.
Art supplies.
Attention/An audience.
Communication and love from the people I care about most.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Mostly writing and various creative b.s., but sometimes social junk crops up. I'm not a big fan of drama, but I am often surrounded by it. When I'm actually involved in a writing project--actively creating a novel or story--I will be VERY, very into it and won't think about much else.

I am by default a happy person, and I find that this is actually unusual. My happiness depends on me, and it comes from within me, and when I am NOT happy it is usually because I can't help someone else with their UNhappiness and it's destroying my mood. I have a steady core of stable, immovable happiness as the center of my life, and it is partially because I am *enhanced by*, not completed by, other people. (I've also been privileged to never live in an abusive or otherwise horrible situation, and don't suffer from depression or anxiety. I have been extraordinarily lucky.)

I also think about how weird it is that due to my sexual orientation I'm always being told how I'll "never be happy" by people who openly admit that their lives are very far from what they'd like them to be. I'm a living example of self-actualization, man. I don't need your advice.

Yup, that occupies my mind.
On a typical Friday night I am
If I'm with a friend, sometimes we go out to eat or watch movies or I go on vacation. But I'm usually trying to finish up my online comic, which goes up on Fridays, and I'm very dedicated to that so if someone wants my Friday night they have to tell me ahead of time so I can put the comic up Friday morning. ;)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I fear both success and failure.

I have had like eight different assholes message me about how I'm obviously trying to be PROFOUND with this statement. Hardly.

Basically it refers to how I really want to be successful at my chosen field, but since even as an author and a very mildly Internet-famous person I have trouble keeping up with all the communication, attention, and WORK that it yields, I fear that I'll lose some of the personally fulfilling aspects of my life if I actually do make it bigger than I already have.

So I'm not just saying crap to look like I'm deep. Shut up. People who have to tell you they're deep are usually pretty shallow.
You should message me if
You find my statements and answers refreshing and interesting and match some of them yourself and want to talk about it. Also, you should message me if you fit most of my 21 Things. To explain, Alanis Morissette wrote a song called "21 Things I Want in a Lover." Since I don't take lovers, this is a bit different, so I call it "21 Things SwankiVY Wants in a Close-Relationship-Of-Any-Kind." It is a bit lengthy and is posted on my site in the personal essays section. I won't clutter the profile with such a long document, but if you are intrigued by this point, you might want to read it and give me YOUR 21 Things someday.

Unless you are abusive or sent a message listed in the "I won't reply to" disclaimer, you will always receive a response from me if you message me. If you don't, chances are I actually didn't receive the message. So give it a try and maybe you'll look back in a year wondering what you would have done without me. ::snort::

And you should definitely message me if you got to the end of this profile and you're bursting with things to talk about. :) Hope to see you in my inbox and in my life.
The two of us