39Baltimore, United States
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My self-summary
the cadillac of nerds and your next theyfriend.

small and round with strong outer defenses and a soft, cuddly underbelly; (un)selfconsciously fat, cute, sweaty, and/or food-stained; (agender) nb trans as fuck; soft butch/hard femme as fuck; (solo) poly as fuck

i'm a little unsure what i have to offer straight people, but i remain open to possibilities. hope springs eternal.

Eliza Skinner: "dating over 30 is like trying to lure a feral cat out from under a car, while you yourself are a feral cat under a car."

I can, in fact, see likes.

my instagram, linked below, is likely to just be my handsome and brave cat son for the next however long. sorry not sorry.

keywords: nerdy; queer; soft butch/hard femme; enby/non-binary/agender; solo poly;
What I’m doing with my life
going to work, coming home, cooking, eating, reading, playing games. learning, acting, fucking up, trying to do better next time.

taking care of a dear friend with chronic fatigue/pain issues.

what I want to do with my life: write more, spend more time with friends, find community.
I’m really good at
food (giving, receiving); banter (giving, receiving, watching); ridiculous hats and other headgear (receiving, wearing)
The first things people usually notice about me
eyes, eyelashes, lips, piercings, belly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
i have, like, two speeds, fourteen-year-old lesbian, and snob on the far side of middle age, because it's like this: i grew up semi-feral in the suburbs, raised in the alley behind a public library by a skittering pack of comic books, sci-fi paperbacks, and overdubbed VHS tapes, led by a single-speaker combo FM radio/cassette player. i was fed well, made fat and happy on yellowed, crumbling pulp pages, on spaghetti-tangled magnetic tape filled with songs recorded off freeform radio and sticky, staticky midnight movies and music videos off the UHF stations. we were poor, but we were happy. as a result, i have trouble understanding people who can fit themselves comfortably into sixteen gigabytes or less.

lately I've been reading a lot of Moomin comics, listening to anthologies and DJ mixes on shuffle, and playing Yakuza 5 on PS3.

goodreads //

some things I'm gonna judge you for: Ayn Rand; Ernest Cline; the Big Bang Theory; "everything except rap and country"; non-medical aversion to vegetables; I'm-not-feminist-because-I-believe-in-equality; "sapiosexual" when what you mean is "i prefer conventionally hot people who are also grammar prescriptivists"; #gamergate; how you treat animals, children, and service employees
Six things I could never do without
oral/dental hygiene; reliable hydration; books with elves, spaceships, or space elves; multiple pockets; good insoles; an efficient postal system.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
snacks; what to cook; what to eat and where; games of many kinds; gnarly sci-fi and fantasy art; comics; games; what I'd do if I won the lottery; my personal (a)gender expression; how much space to occupy; self-assertion as an act of vulnerability; vulnerability as an act of self-assertion; social justice in a cruel culture; how to live more gently in an increasingly hostile world.
On a typical Friday night I am
stalking the elusive chocodile.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have never eaten a chocodile, and now it seems unlikely that I ever will.

agender: all my life, my heroes have mostly been heroines and I draw strength and inspiration from their examples. the traits I value in others and try to develop in myself (e.g. competence, compassion, resilience, vulnerability) don't carry gendered weight, they're just my go-to tools for navigating the world. so I'm a little bit of one and a little more of the other and carry trace elements of every but mostly I'm none at all. gender is a performance and I dislike singing for my supper.

(ethical) non-monogamy/polyamory: i believe in accepting love where and when and in whatever form it occurs, and giving back as best as I can. I'm not that interested in kitchen table poly. maybe gaming table poly. in practice, I tend to focus on one relationship while crushing a lot, often unrequitedly.

i don't know where else to put this, but: i don't know if i have the energy to date much further south than Laurel or Columbia MD. I commute to DC four days a week for ten-hour shifts, and it takes a lot out of me, and i'm not sure i can drive that far or further on an off day unless you're down with nap dates or Sunday morning brunch/dim sum dates. (totally message me if you're down with nap dates, regardless of distance/location)
You should message me if
you only have excellent ideas;

your schedule is weird but flexible;

you like small plates, fancy drinks, cheap books, thrift stores, cult video, and 7/10-rated video games;

you’re down with George Clinton, the Grateful Dead, Grimes, and Godspeed You! Black Emperor and everything in-between;

your relationship timeline & hierarchy resemble fractals or old-school dungeon maps;

you don’t dig on this but you have a friend you want to set me up with;

you believe that existence is naturally unfair and thus have little to no interest in preserving nature or acting naturally in that respect;

you have chocodiles and are willing to share;

you're down with nap dates (see above);

you enjoy reading aloud and being read to;

you want a mix tape.

keywords: nerdy; queer; femme; androgynous; enby/non-binary/agender; solo poly; chocodiles
The two of us