Their result for The JD Wetherspoon Customer Test ...
Creepy Old Drunk
You scored 100 Bottles of Reef and 98 Age!
You are the creepy old drunk. You don't really seem to have many friends. That's probably obvious. All of your possessions are kept in plastic bags and you demand that your ale is drunk not from a glass, but from a tankard, that you bring in yourself. It's pewter. It's seen better days.
Really! I'm not going to tell you again. Stop staring at me. Jesus.
I know nothing about you, you are a complete mystery. All I know is that you are creepy, old, and a drunk.
STOP IT. Right, that's it, I'm getting the manager...
Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)
They scored 100% on Bottles of Reef, higher than 100% of your peers.
They scored 98% on Age, higher than 100% of your peers.
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