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Their result for Could You Date Someone With Sexual Trauma? ...

The Perfect Secondary

You definitely sound like someone who has thought about what it would mean to be a supporter. You recognize that the healing process for a survivor involves your self-examination and hard work as well as theirs. If you have chosen to enter a relationship with a survivor I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to look up resources for secondary survivors and supporters to help you out. This test is imperfect and I'm not a relationship counselor, so proceed with caution anyhow.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • Yes Distribution

    They scored 72% on Yes, higher than 53% of your peers.

  • Insecure Distribution

    They scored 17% on Insecure, higher than 64% of your peers.

  • Selfish Distribution

    They scored 0% on Selfish, higher than 18% of your peers.

  • Horny Distribution

    They scored 0% on Horny, higher than 37% of your peers.

  • Potentially_Abusive Distribution

    They scored 8% on Potentially_Abusive, higher than 77% of your peers.

All possible test results

The Perfect Secondary

You definitely sound like someone who has thought about what it would mean to be a supporter. You recognize that the healing process for a survivor involves your self-examination and hard work... Read more

Not Compassionate Enough/Too Selfish

It seems that you engage in a lot of victim-blaming behavior and/or do not really have the patience or understanding to date a rape survivor. You buy into a lot of unhelpful and unsupportiv... Read more

Too Insecure

You have good intentions but may not have the capacity to carry them out. You take it personally when your survivor feels uncomfortable with sex or is unable to trust you. Try to understand th... Read more

Too Focused on Sex

You are very used to having sex be an inevitable part of a relationship early on.  You probably haven't had much experience with trauma survivors, or haven't learned that the pressure to h... Read more

Potentially Abusive Yourself

Your lack of compassion is somewhat shocking.  If you honestly believe that you know better than your partner does what he/she is comfortable with, you need serious professional help.  "No" ... Read more

Potentially Abusive and Victim-Blaming

You seem to engage in a lot of unhealthy victim-blaming behavior. You fluctuate between minimizing their abuse and pushing your own needs onto the person. By blaming your partner for... Read more

Emotionally Unstable

Your score suggests that you are both insecure and potentially abusive. When you invalidate a person's feelings, ignore them saying "no," or pressure them into sex, you are engaging in abusive... Read more

A Bit Too Physical

You are sincere in wanting to help your survivor and be a good partner. However, you are used to expressing affection and giving comfort through physical gestures (particularly sexual gestures... Read more

Cannot Separate Sex and Love

It is likely that you see sexual affection and romantic affection as one and the same. When you are getting physical intimacy, you feel close to your partner and loved. When you are not, you f... Read more

Sexually Unbalanced

Sex is very important to you. You may feel that it is a need rather than a want, and sometimes your desire for it causes you to disregard the feelings of others. Even if your intentions are go... Read more

Hiding Behind Good Intentions

You have good intentions, but you do not fully understand what it means to have survived sexual trauma. You may believe that encouraging a survivor to "get over it" will help them to heal, but... Read more

You're Getting There

You are sincere about wanting to support your partner, but you are still dealing with some insecurities that could drive a wall between you and your partner. It is important to remember tha... Read more

Not Ready

You seem like you are very ill-prepared for a relationship of this type. You may be dealing with a lot of insecurities about relationships, be very focused on sex, and/or be misinformed about ... Read more


You don't seem completely sure what you are getting yourself into or how well you can handle it. It is important to check out resources for secondary survivors and partners of abuse survivors ... Read more

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