The Mother Of Brian
Apperance: Life of Brian
Nasty woman in the middle.
The Leper Scene.
Leper I: A fish, sir?
Leper II: Alms for a leper!
Leper III: Alms for a leper!
Ex-leper: Alms for an ex-leper! Bloody donkey-owners, all the same, ain't they? Never have any change. Oh, here they... touch! Spare a talent for an old ex-leper!
Mother: Buzz off!
Ex-leper: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper!
Mother: A talent? That's more than he earns in a month!
Ex-leper: Half a talent then?
Mother: No, get away!
Ex-leper: Come on Bignose, let's haggle!
Ex-leper: All right, cut the haggling, let's say you open at one shekel, I start at 2000, we close at about 1800.
Mother: Go away!
Mother: Look, will you leave him alone!
Ex-leper: All right. Two shekels, just two. Isn't this fun, eh?
Mother: Look, he is not giving you any money, so piss off!
Ex-leper: All right sir, my final offer, half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say ex-leper?
Ex-leper: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind a bell and fradock, sir.
Brian: Oh...what happened?
Ex-leper: I was cured, sir.
Ex-leper: Yes, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you!
Brian: Oh, who cured you?
Ex-leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden up he comes, cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute I'm alive and newsgone. Not so much as a bye or league! "You're cured, mate". Bloody do-gooder.
Brian: Tough. Why don't you go and tell him that you want to be a leper again?
Ex-leper: Aah, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. Well, what the thing was I was going to ask him if he'd make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something peckable but not leprosy, which is a pain in the ass, to be blunt despute my French servant.
Mother: Brian! Come and clean your room out!
Brian: Here you are.
Ex-leper: Thank you, sir. Than...half a dinare for me bloody life story?
Brian: There's no pleasing some people.
Ex-leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir!
Door being kicked in by mother:: [Bladonk]
More tests we think you'll like
Taken 80803 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Humane Sexuality Test. I'll be using advanced theory and research to determine how sexually open, educated and just plain weird ...
Taken 715 times.
Hey internet fiends! Hopefully, most people taking this test are familiar with the popular online comic Bob and George, if not, check it out at http:...
Taken 5574 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Useless Trivia As Determined By the Author Test. I'll be using advanced logic and my useless knowledge amassed over years of veg...
Taken 2081 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Does 300 MYA Matter To Me Test. MYA means Millions of Years Ago, so if you don't care, don't know, or don't want to humiliate yo...
Taken 5183 times.
Do you watch Showtime's Hit Series "The L Word". Of course you do. How into this show are you? Let's find out!
Taken 11640 times.
So, to be honest, I am just bored and I wanna know if there is anyone out there that matches my criteria for the type of man I want. Yes, I do want a ...
Taken 52542 times.
Hi! And welcome to my dumbest Test. I'll be using no logic and little knowledge to determine something.
Taken 6956 times.
Hi! And welcome to my runescape Test. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine your true nature.
Taken 153 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Lisa Loeb Lyrics Test. I will be testing your knowledge of Lisa Loeb song lyrics from all of her albums! this test is pretty tec...
Taken 9257 times.
How much U.S. History do you really know? Do you remember the things your teachers taught you? Do you pay attention when reading newspapers or watching the news?
Connect your existing OkCupid account
Restore your account to continue meeting new people.
Reset your password
We’ll email you a link to reset it.
An email is on its way to .
If you don’t see it, try checking your Spam folder.
Enter Authentication Code
Not so fast!
You need to complete your basic info on the mobile app before you can use the desktop site.