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Seductive Snake

Most Likely Owner: Pathetic male virgins who thinks snakes “turn chicks on”.

Slithering up your owners arm in a tight death grip of love, you are the seductive snake! While snake and cuddly don’t exactly go together, that doesn’t mean you aren’t a good pet for the right type of owner. This is because you are happy with the simple things in life: a heat lamp and a feeder mouse and you’re a content reptile. This makes you a desirable pet for some of the most sadistic types who like to watch live mice desperately try to escape your clutches. However, because you’re one cool customer, you are less likely to give a damn about your owner and would probably eat them if you could unhinge your jaw far enough. This isn’t because you are a bad pet, you’re just smart enough to know a free meal when you see it.

All possible test results

Fearful Fishy

Most Likely Owner: Anyone who can afford to buy water. Relaxing to observe but less than fun to cuddle, you are the fearful fishy! Fish is a broad category ranging from those crappy goldfis... Read more

Hoppity Rabbit

Most Likely Owner: Those who like cute pets but hate hamsters. Hoping down the bunny trail away from any danger either real or imaginary, you are the hopity rabbit! While other pets can rel... Read more

Tentative Turtle

Most Likely Owner: Stoners. Slowly moving your head in and out of your shell to the amusement of some, you are the tentative turtle! Turtles aren’t for everyone, that’s because they don’... Read more

Feisty Ferret

Most Likely Owner: Arnold Schwarzenegger, other Austrians. Stuck somewhere between a dog/cat/otter mix you are the feisty ferret! Because of your independent nature, you are less blindly lo... Read more

Gullible Guinea Pig

Most Likely Owner: Mad Scientists, bored children. Mutilated by countless testing labs, but still going back for more, you are the gullible guinea pig! While other pets demand a lot of thei... Read more

Bubbly Birdie

Most Likely Owner: Morning people. Ready to sing your song of love no matter what the hour, you are the bubbly birdie! While other pets show their affection through dry humping, you prefer ... Read more

Gruff Goat

Most Likely Owner: Farmers, children of farmers, shepherds. Knocking trolls off bridges with reckless abandon, you are the gruff goat! While other pets get the glory of being allowed inside... Read more

Haughty Horsey

Most Likely Owner: Little girls who really wanted a pony. Galloping away with your owners heart (and money), you are the haughty horsey. Like other domesticated animals you once served an i... Read more

Seductive Snake

Most Likely Owner: Pathetic male virgins who thinks snakes “turn chicks on”. Slithering up your owners arm in a tight death grip of love, you are the seductive snake! While snake and cudd... Read more

Careful Cat

Most Likely Owner: Crazy cat lady. Like a ghost who appears at uneven intervals, you are the careful cat! While some cats are outgoing and love people, you are more interested in your own a... Read more

Picky Pot Belly Pig

Most Likely Owner: Hippies and vegetarians. Until recently delegated to the dinner table, you are the picky pot belly pig! While you have got a lot of bad press as being lazy, smelly, and s... Read more

Prattling Parrot

Most Likely Owner: Bored housewives who prefers talking to her parrot over her husband. Never one to just shut up and chill, you are the prattling parrot! As a highly intelligent animal tha... Read more

Rambunctious Rat

Most Likely Owner: Poor college student living in a dorm. Misunderstood by squeamish people, but beloved by true rat lovers, you are the rambunctious rat! Some people may underestimate you,... Read more

Playful Pussy Cat

Most Likely Owner: Evil genius bent on world domination. Even though the name sounds dirty, it isn’t, you are the playful pussy cat! Cats are smart animals who are also self sufficient. Ho... Read more

Defensive Doggie

Most Likely Owner: Hick who needs to protect some property. While other dogs may get their kicks from playing in the dirt, you are a more serious dog, the defensive doggie! Because you are ... Read more

Loyal Lassie Dog

Most Likely Owner: A little boy, probably stuck down a well. Man’s (and woman’s) best friend, what else do you need? You are the loyal lassie dog! When your owner walks in the door you ca... Read more

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