You are QUIET HORROR. Inasmuch as you have a personality at all, you're the one watching the boa constrictor sliding up their body and vaguely wondering whether being digested is going to hurt worse than what Satan can come up with once you reach Hell.
SEEK: drama queens. Believe it or not, you might be able to calm them down just by watching and saying "Yeah? So?" in that irritating way of yours. AVOID: boa constrictors. (Satan is very creative.)
Links to all the VPI categories: Curious Bloodstain, Cuckoo's Nestmate, Meaningless Advice, Second From the Left, Quiet Horror, Naked Mole Rat, Iceberg Hidden in the Fog, Incomplete Tarot Deck, Dead Houseplant, Mistuned TV, Burned Out, Zombie Flamingo, Nurse Shark, Paper Cup, Lamprey, Pyroclastic Flow, Cassandra, Sphinx, Futility, Coleocanth, The Star! (MV), Swamp Island, PANIC!!1!, Lone Freeway Shoe, Bad Tattoo, Unnecessary Heimlich Maneuver, Illegible Warning.
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