Ashley and Jared

Our Little Love Secret

In December of 09, after a slew of miserable dating experiences, I turned to OkCupid with little hope. On December 3rd, at 9:17 in the morning, I stumbled upon Jared's profile. At the end of his about me he wrote "Oh, and I'm fat. Sorry." I laughed, because I had something very similar in my profile a few months prior (as if it wasn't readily apparent, or something). I sent him a message saying that I liked his profile, and we exchanged a few messages. We created our own utopia, but the conversation died down after a while and we forgot about each other.

Almost 2 months later, on January 28th, my friend/ex-boyfriend Jake and I were on the prowl. Since we both seemed to message people we never clicked with, we tried sending each other profiles of people we thought might be a good match for one another. After 2 profiles, Jake sent me Jared's profile. I messaged Jared again saying "My friend was helping me find someone suitable to message, and he sent me your profile. I wrote: "I MESSAGED HIM AND WE CREATED A HYPOTHETICAL COUNTRY, AND THEN HE NEVER TALKED TO ME AGAIN!" Hahah. Just thought I'd share. ;)" From there, he messaged me back saying he didn't want THIS exchange to end with us never speaking again, and we exchanged AIM usernames. We chatted online for about a week and then I kind of sort of forced him to meet me in person.

We met in a Stop & Shop parking lot. Romantic and ideal, right? I suppose neither of us could think of a suitable first date, so we figured we'd drive around and talk, and Stop & Shop seemed like a logical place to meet up at the time. We drove around for a while, talking about horrible people we'd met online, and then discovered we both have Zunes (I think we might be the only 2 people to own's fate). We sat and talked until 2 in the morning. Neither of us wanted to leave, but we did, saying we'd hang out again sometime soon. A few days later, we got burritos. In the weeks that followed were trips to the zoo, late-night beach picnics, Boston Museum of Science/Harry Potter exhibit escapades, and movie cuddling. One night, after a particularly riveting movie session, Jared told me to follow him outside. I asked him if he planned on murdering me. He said yes, smiled, fumbled around in his car, got down on one knee, presented me with a ring pop, and asked if I'd be his valentine. Needless to say, I was sold. We've been together for 6 months now.

At midnight last night, I realized how much he means to me. I think everything can be summed up with the text I sent him after this realization--
"I just wish you knew how I feel about you. Nothing in this world feels like you or smells like you or tastes like you. You inspire me more than anything or anyone. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for so long, and I'm not sure I'll ever be completely happy. But you've given me more hope than I ever thought possible. You make all the bullshit and nonsense worth experiencing. And if I could stay in one moment forever, it would be the way you catch my eye and smile when we're around other people. Like a little love secret. Our little love secret. Minuscule on a grand scale, but everything to me."

Thanks, OkCupid!

Tagged as: OkCupid Matches, Second Chances, and Almost Gave Up.