• The Personality Defect Test will provide an accurate analysis of your true personality, but it will do so in a manner that is very insulting, cynical, and unintentionally ridiculous. It uses four variables--gentleness, humility, extroversion, and rationality--in order to determine what kind of person you are. And, unlike traditional personality tests, it will focus on the negative aspects of these results as opposed to the positive. It will also be filled with much of my inane ramblings, which shall help lead you through the forest of boredom and into a land of honey, and suckles, and honeysuckles, and me.

    Why is my test better (and more arrogant) than the others? Because it is more informative, more entertaining, and also rather unique (as well as overly self-laudatory). Most personality tests only seem to emphasize the positive aspects of your personality, mentioning your negative traits with an inaudible whisper if they even get mentioned at all. They are biased to reflect your personality in a more positive light. They will go on and on about how creative or brilliant you are, even though you feel a lagging suspicion that you are not really some brilliant genius / wonderful teacher / cunning inventor / resolute superhero. However, this personality test has a less common negative bias. It won't shower you with exaggerative praise. Instead, it will shower you with a fine sprinkle of fecal dust and judgmental arrogance. And even though the results will no doubt be insulting, try to remember the effort that the author put into making this test, and to consider how difficult it is to make a powder from feces and judgmental arrogance. It's like churning butter, except less delicious.

    Please note that the category descriptions are only meant to reflect your personality TRAITS, and not necessarily YOU. For instance, if you are placed in the category "Sociopath", it doesn't mean that you are actually a sociopath. And if it does, please don't hurt me. Rather, it means that the traits you possess, when taken out of context, can be said to represent those of a sociopath. In short, the category descriptions are meant for a laugh and are highly exaggerative and speculative, while the percentage scores for each variable are meant to be accurate reflections of your personality.

    At the end, all the categories for the various personalities will be listed, as well as several compatibility suggestions. You will be able to see how your friends stack up against you by comparing their scores to yours, and you can also judge how compatible or similar each of your personalities would be. You will also be able to simply sit there, staring awkwardly at the screen, wondering why on Earth you waste your precious time on such crap.

    The image used under the "Starving Artist" category is courtesy of Stephan Brusche and more of his work can be found at http://www.sb77.nl I had to put this because he might sue my pants off, and this is my last pair of pants.

    The image used under question 16, of the cool screaming dude, is courtesy of John Rubio, whose website is at http://www.johnrubio.com I had to put this here because he might sue my underwear off after Stephan sued off my pants, and I wouldn't want to frighten the children. The poor, poor children.