• Will you survive my mighty purging of the planet when I finally take over? Are you one of the select few human beings with the vaguest vestiges of bacterial intelligence? This test will determine if you shall be amongst the meagre numbers of those allowed to live.

    However, you must answer these questions honestly. There's little to be gained in attempting to guess which answer I would rather you gave. The cleansing flames will not be fooled when the time comes. It's probably for the best if you tell the truth, find out the inevitable bad news, and know to get your things in order.

    Well, I'd wish you good luck, if I meant it.

    Thank you for all the nice comments about this test. They won't help you, of course. But still. I've tweaked a couple of dodgy questions such that things are (kind of) more fair. So far less than 2% have proven inflammable, of which most are aged 60 - 65 or gay men. Which is ideal - the two groups least likely to procreate. Science is marvellous.