• Okay, toots. You think you're hot stuff, do ya? You think you have the class to make it tactfully through any social situation, the moxy to command the attention and service (and free drinks!) of gentlemen, the spunk to obliterate all obstacles in your path and the wits to never faulter along the way?

    Well, there's only one way to find out if you're truly a high-class dame or if you're really just some two-bit broad. And that's by consulting with yours truly. So let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?

    PS: As of April 15, 2005, I've analyzed a lot of the results for this test. Now, I can spot a dumb broad from a mile away, and it seems like a lot of dumb broads have been scoring as dames with my test. My test is infallible. So that means that the dumb broads - like the dumb broads that they are - are answering dishonestly. Don't let me catch YOU trying to pull the wool over my eyes! Answer honestly! Or there'll be Hell to pay! Bang, to the moon, Alice!