• Summery: this test will not only determine if there are indeed monsters in your closet, but how well equipped you are to deal with them.

  • Before you scoff at this test, or proceed to answer these questions with ambivalence, consider this fact; since the invention of the closet children have been convinced that within its shadowy recesses an otherworldly creature lurks and waits for nightfall. These sentient, malicious beings have been called by many names over time; demons, fallen angels, ogglas, to the Native people they were the brasai. Today we call them monsters. But in our high-paced modern culture most individuals regarded their existence as nothing more than fanciful musings of the primal subconscious.

    Indeed, as we grow older many people loose their inherent fear of the unfathomable depths of closets. Those few brave adults who heatedly admit to believing are met with scorn and ridicule by their peers and therapists. Society in general seems to be adamant on dispelling the closet monster “myth.”

    Yet perhaps in societies haste to ignore this chilling possibility we find an even darker truth; that more people believe in the ‘closet monsters’ than do not believe. Such belief in the possibility of a being, or portal, within ones own home is so unthinkable that we adults will do anything to tighten the blindfolds over our own eyes!

    Regardless of your personal feelings on this matter I encourage you to take this test. See for yourself is your closet is only a tiny room for shoes and shirts… or a demon-forged gateway to the 9 Hells and every twisted perversion of God and Nature that your mind dares not even imagine.

    Note: for the sake of this test, the word "monster" is being defined as a non-human non-extraterrestrial sentient entity. It may be of either malicious or benevolent intent. (By all accounts, it is usually malicious.)