• non sequitur (nŏn sěk'wĭ-tər)

    1. A reply that has no relevance to what preceded it.

    2. A conclusion that does not follow from the premises.



    Personality tests and behavioral tests are about as common these days as drug-addled musicians. Most of them ask the same sort of questions, inquring as to whether you dominate group discussions, whether you prefer mornings or evenings, and whether you feel guilty when you masturbate. Then you get some sort of sweet little closing statement which glosses over all of your negative qualities while gently stroking your ego. A few tests will try the reverse, being flatly insulting in an attempt to be humorous, but even that is getting tired. There are just as many tests now which try to put you down, stringing together some barrage of lame insults that even Tom Cruise wouldn't be riled by.


    So, what to do? When every personality test out there either kisses your ass or puts you down, where can you turn to? At last, we have an answer. The Non-Sequitur Personality Test will ask you a series of questions, sure. You just won't know what most of them are actually looking for.


    Your final category won't be trying to pump your self-worth until it's more inflated than Carmen Electra's breasts. It won't try to squash your sense of self. It's not only possible that this will tell you nothing relevant whatsoever, it's actually pretty much guaranteed. But hey, how many tests on here can really say they're any more accurate in their assertions than an episode of Crossing Over with John Edward. Yeah. Didn't think so. At least with this test you know that upfront.


    So, take a deep breath (unless you're underwater right now, in which case you should probably also turn off your computer) and click ahead.



    LAUNCHED: August 17, 2007.

    UPDATED: October 25, 2008.