• So what is it you're "accepting?" Well, these are the definitions as I understand them:


    Closed = forbidding romantic relations outside the committed circle. A traditional legal marriage is closed. Both partners vow to confine sexual relations to within the marriage.

    FFF = a three-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or triad).

    FFFF = a four-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or quad).

    FMF = a one-man, two-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or triad).

    FMFF = a one-man, three-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or quad).

    MFM = a two-man, one-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or triad).

    MFMF = a two-man, two-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or quad).

    MFMM = a three-man, one-woman polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or quad).

    MMM = a three-man polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or triad).

    MMMM = a four-man polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship (or quad).

    Mono = monogamist, monogamous, or monogamy.

    Monogamist = someone who prefers or practices monogamy.

    Monogamous = of, prefering, or practicing monogamy.

    Monogamy = a closed relationship (e.g., marriage) between two people. Sexual relations are prohibited outside the two-person circle. No new partners can be added. A monogamist who divorces, and then marries someone else, is a serial monogamist.

    OKC = okCupid.

    Open = allowing romantic relations outside the committed circle. A marriage can be open, if both partners agree to allow each other to have sexual relations outside the marriage.

    Poly = polyamorist, polyamory, polyfidelitist, polyfidelity, swinger, swinging, etc.

    Polyamorist = someone who prefers or practices polyamory.

    Polyamorous = of, prefering, or practicing polyamory.

    Polyamory = close relationships with multiple partners. Romance with more than one person is allowed, if all connected parties agree to the arrangement. The emphasis is on love, but sex can happen. Total honesty between all partners is a given.

    Polyandry = polygamy involving multiple husbands (but not more than one wife).

    Polyfidelitist = someone who prefers or practices polyfidelity.

    Polyfidelitous = of, prefering, or practicing polyfidelity.

    Polyfidelity = a closed, virtually (if not legally) marriage-like relationship between more than two people. Everyone vows to confine sexual relations to within the marriage-like circle. New partners can be added if all existing partners agree.

    Polygamy = marriage involving more than three persons. Polygyny and polyandry are subsets of polygamy; religion-based polygyny is usually called "polygamy."

    Polygyny = polygamy involving multiple wives (but not more than one husband).

    Polymore = someone who loves polyamory.

    Polyphobe = someone who hates polyamory.

    Quad = a polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship involving four persons.

    Serial Mono = serial monogamist, serial monogamous, or serial monogamy.

    Serial Monogamist = someone who prefers or practices serial monogamy.

    Serial Monogamous = of, prefering, or practicing serial monogamy.

    Serial Monogamy = something of a gray area between monogamy and polyamory: a succession of closed two-person relationships (e.g., marriages punctuated by divorce). So there's one romantic partner at a time, but multiple partners over the years.

    Soulmate = your perfect romantic match, who you were destined to find, live with, and forever love.

    Swing = swinging; engage in swinging.

    Swinger = someone who prefers or practices swinging.

    Swinging = sexual relationships with multiple partners, often based from a loving, central, two-person relationship such as a marriage. Outside that duo, emotional involvement is generally avoided and sex is emphasized. Truthfulness is a given.

    Triad = a polyamorous (often polyfidelitous) relationship involving three persons.


    This test has 37 questions, divided into five sections:

    First: questions about love and polyamory. (Questions 1 thru 4)
    Second: questions about swinging and you. (Questions 5 thru 8)
    Third: questions about polyamory and you. (Questions 9 thru 17)
    Fourth: questions about polyfidelity and you. (Questions 18 thru 26)
    Fifth: questions about tolerance and okCupid. (Question 27 thru 37)

    Caution: Some questions ask if it's okay for "a person" or "people" to engage in a certain practice. These people may or may not include you. That would be up to you. But not all questions ask that. Some ask whether it's okay for ANYONE to engage in a certain practice -- not whether you yourself would want to participate.

    If you'd want to participant yourself, then no doubt your answer should be "yes," it's okay for "a person" or "people" to engage in that practice.

    However, even if you wouldn't want to participate personally, your answer may still be "yes." It would be a question of whether it might be okay (in your eyes) for someone else to engage in that practice.

    Example: Question 8 asks whether you would want to swing. Question 7 asks whether swinging is okay. Carefully note that difference. You don't have to want to swing in order to accept swinging as okay for someone else.

    Note: As an okCupid test creator, I'm only allowed to give you up to four answer choices for each question. That means I can't cover every nuance of every individual's viewpoint.

    I've also followed the limits of okCupid's general match questions -- limits which include brevity. I've tried to keep the length of each question relatively succinct, and I've limited each answer to 50 characters.

    Please be tolerant of those facts. Of the four answers provided for each question, choose the answer that most closely resembles your viewpoint, even if it's not a perfect fit.

    For example: Question 10 asks if you'd want to be polyfidelitous -- and "I'm already polyfidelitous" doesn't appear in the list of answers. Please don't be offended by that. I realize that you might already be polyfidelitous. If you are, then your answer to Question 10 should be "yes" (or "I'd love to").

    Questions 18 thru 26 ask you to consider each possible polyfidelitous triad and quad: MFM, FMF, MMM, FFF, MFMF, MFMM, FMFF, MMMM, and FFFF.

    If you're polyamorous, but not polyfidelitous, you might wonder if your overall poly acceptance score will be hurt if you turn these polyfidelitous scenarios down.

    Not much -- for two reasons:

    1. those questions aren't general poly questions.
    2. those questions ask if YOU would want to participate.

    You don't have to BE polyamorous in order to be poly-friendly. Questions about your own participation have some impact on poly acceptance, but questions about your tolerance for other people have greater impact.

    Also: If you score high on pro-polyamorous non-polyfidelitist questions, you'll score high on overall poly acceptance.

    Your final score will gauge four areas:

    1. how polyamorous you are;
    2. how polyfidelitous you are;
    3. how into swinging you are;
    4. how poly-friendly you are.

    You don't have to be polyamorous AND polyfidelitous in order to be poly-friendly. Swinger and polyfidelitist questions have some impact on overall poly acceptance, but general poly questions have greater impact.