Valentine’s Day fell on a Saturday this year. While it would have been lovely to recount the tender memories you’ll eventually share with your grandkids, we don’t work on Saturday (and that’s not our style anyway).
Dating can be awkward; sometimes things go hilariously wrong. Since Friday the 13th was the day before Valentine’s, we decided to just roll with it. We asked the people of the interwebs to tweet us their bad date stories with #dontbemine, and they did not disappoint. Then our assembled group of super-talented friends sprung into action to immortalize the awkward moments.
@okcupid @DateMeShow @TheSecondCity he farted 3x on the walk home and turned out to be my next door neighbor. I politely ignored the first two farts, but the third one put me over the edge #dontbemine— Sophie M (@sophieathome) February 13, 2015
Took me to the bar where she met her marriage ending affair, then texted her ex, "I'm on a date with your clone" in front of me. Then she wanted to make out in the alley. Next day? "Sorry, I can't get over the clone thing. It won't work out." No kidding. #dontbemine— Tim Mc (@RedshirtStories) February 13, 2015
@okcupid I went to the drive in and during the movie he was kissing my hand, up my arm and then licked my ear! Talk about wet willies!— Marie (@MarieKRoller) February 13, 2015
@okcupid had a guy take me to San Francisco for VD 5 years ago. Turns out he was married and his wife was calling nonstop. I went home.— Christine (@ChristineSongs) February 13, 2015
@okcupid So, I'm a disabled woman who moves to NYC. I was very open about being blind in my OKC profile. I showed up on my date. And sure enough, guy looks at my cane stands up and says "Yeah, I don't fuck cripples' and walks out.— Elsa S. Henry (@snarkbat) February 13, 2015
@okcupid met a guy who listed his height the same as mine. I forgot and wore heels.oops? but he was also 5 inches shorter than he said!— dear diary, (@freudianquips) February 13, 2015
.@okcupid met my internet boyfriend for the first time in person - turns out he was VERY married... and I had to buy his ticket home!— The Apocalypse (@MortuaryReport) February 13, 2015
@okcupid after seeing a lady for a few months she stops seeing me because some other guy was a dick, so by association all men are.— Argent D. Wolf (@demonking999) February 13, 2015
@okcupid I flew all the way from Portland to NYC to see an OkC guy who it turns out was too hung up on his ex to even have sex with me.— Jade Elise (@Snarky_Malarkey) February 13, 2015
.@okcupid showed up late, shorter than me (5'1"), asked if I'd ever had sex in a hearse since I'm a funeral director. nope & won't with you!— The Apocalypse (@MortuaryReport) February 13, 2015
@okcupid Most awkward date: running into my ex-husband while headed to nice 1st anniversary dinner with boyfriend. Eeeep!— Page Nouvelle (@friendofbettie) February 13, 2015